Wasn't sure where on the internet to ask this, but thought Mumsnet might give me the most honest answer.
I (46/M) met a lovely lady (46/F) who happens to be a single mother.
She has 5 kids (7, 10, 11, 16, 25), the 4 youngest live at home with her, and the 3 youngest go to their Dad's every other weekend.
She has been generous with her free time, and I see her almost all of her free weekends (she comes to me).
She works 4 days a week, mainly from home, but sometimes in the office. Her day off is mainly cleaning, washing, chores etc.
I've tried to be realistic about her situation. I understand that the kids are the priority, and I'm happy to stay in the background so as not to unsettle them.
Unfortunately the ex is not a nice person, and she's going through a protracted unpleasant divorce.
My concern is whether I'm being unreasonable to expect a higher level of communication between us.
Specifically when she has the younger children, replies to messages are hit and miss, she doesn't call, and doesn't answer calls. Given that she has the children most of the time, there's just not a whole lot of communication, and I've always felt that relationships rely on healthy communication.
I suppose I feel a bit side-lined, and I'm not sure how to progress the relationship, or even if I should.
I'm in her phone under a false (female) name, so the kids don't notice and feed back to the ex that someone new is on the scene.
I'm not sure if I'm just being overly needy, or whether I should expect more at this stage of a relationship. We've been seeing each other for 7 months now.
AIBU for expecting to be able to call and message, and get answered or replied to? Is it worth sticking it out in the hope that things might improve, or is this just part and parcel of dating a single Mum?
Thanks in advance for you answers/opinions. Please go easy on me, it was hard for me to open up to the internet, and first dating someone with kids!