Ex leaving child in car

More likely to be hit by a car in the car park than a random abduction.
At 10c and drizzly, air con isn't really an issue at the moment.

I’d need to know more. Is the car locked? Windows up or down? Air conditioning on? Parked under cover/in the shade or in full sunshine?

I’m from Australia so leaving a 6 and 8 year old in a locked car, windows up and no air conditioning in the full sunshine would mean that you’d be coming back to 2 unwell children who would probably need medical attention.

I’d be too worried about my children getting kidnapped so I wouldn’t do it, even in the shade, car locked and air conditioning on.

I don’t think it’s a huge issue unless the kids are unhappy about it.

They aren’t babies and could presumably get out of the car in an emergency? But are old enough to be told not to do it unless it’s an emergency.

(I’m a bit unsure if all cars can be opened from the inside when locked - mine can. If they can’t open the doors should they need to then it’s not suitable.)

You wouldn't do it, but the parent would.

As others have said, the issue is that children of 6 and 8 are panicking after being left for 10 minutes. It's much safer for them to wait in the car than cross a car park, although neither is dangerous.

This is fine. You need to teach the children how to not panic in a situation that is objectively not worth panicking over

6 & 8 is old enough to be left for a few minutes while a parent pops in a shop. I wouldn't be doing a full weekly shop but picking up a prescription takes minutes, why would they need to go with him?

I’m with you OP I would never do this.

I think it’s too young to leave young children in a car out of eyesight for so many reasons. My brother left my eight year old nephew in the car when he went into a shop. When he came out a couple of minutes later, the car had gone. It had been parked on a slight hill, my nephew had released the handbrake, and the car had sailed off down the road and crashed into a parked car. On Sunday, I stopped to get petrol and realised there was a commotion on the forecourt. Not only had the stupid driver left her small toddler in the car while she had gone in to pay for her petrol, she had also left her keys within reach of the child, who had managed to lock the door. The car was surrounded by people trying to explain to the child how to unlock the door but it obviously didn’t work as they were all still there when I went past again 20 minutes later.

Why wouldn’t you leave a 6 and 8 year old in a safely parked car for 10 minutes?

I think it’s a borderline thing.
I think you’re right to listen to how the kids feel.
Ideally you should be able to speak about these issues but I can imagine you don’t want to create friction.
It is also important for us to build our kids resilience and faith in their parents so if you are confident they may feel reassured.

But you are not wrong to feel as you do; this is one of the countless agonies of sharing childcare after relationship breakdown. It’s very tough and I feel for you.
I was a child of divorce who hardly ever saw my dad after he left. I would have been delighted to see him even if he was half arsed and a bit neglectful!

They're not defective, but it's unusual to children of that age to have such an extreme reaction?

Lol, this place is hilarious! A 6 and 8 year old feeling anxious, they cannot see their parent for 10 whole minutes, does not make them defective!

If the OP had said she leaves her kids unattended in the car for 10 minutes, she'd be lynched 🤣

OP, not sure if you can do much, but I'm pretty sure leaving younger kids in cars for extended periods (ie 10 minutes), is illegal in Australia. Maybe it's the same where you live?

Although they are fine to be left if they are unhappy with it why cant they go with him? Do they mess around?

I also get intrusive thoughts about spontaneous combustion so rarely do it but that's just me!

Completely fine
let ex know they are upset and advise you will work with them in building confidence and resilience on your end and he can also if he would like to. The end

They’re 6 and 8. Leaving them in the car for a few minutes to collect a prescription is absolutely fine. They’re not babies.

Feels like there's another issue here if they are panicking to this extent in a few minutes. Did something happen to make them so scared?

Why would they panic?
It’s overkill to take 2 slightly older children out of the car to pick up something like a prescription, they should be fine waiting in the car.

The only thing I worry about leaving young kids in the car is the handbrake. Some kids won't sit still and be more tempted into fiddling with things in the car and see it as a game.

They are old enough to understand that he’s just popping into the shop?

I don’t think it’s a huge issue. I have always left mine as it’s just easier than dragging them out of the car and into a shop/chemist. At that age it’s fine.

Kids are all different, couldn't have left my eldest at 6, at 8 he'll play a game or listen to music while I pay for fuel or literally pick up a prescription. I'd have to be parked right outside so he can see me go in the shop. Youngest almost 5, wouldn't leave, is in a pushing boundaries stage and would jump in front of a car just to be funny at the minute. Definitely wouldn't leave both together.

If they said they were worried being left j also wouldn't leave them, I've o ky started leaving eldest as he begs not to have to get out of the car (autistic, transitions are hard, getting out the car, in the shop, to the till, back to the car, back in the car, seat elt, it's a huge number of transitions he prefers to avoid

Yes this.

Why are 6 and 8 year olds panicking about being out of sight of a parent for 10 minutes?
Do they usually have any independence?

Non issue for me, I think this is just a parenting preference. You can express to him that you prefer they aren't left in the car but you can't really dictate what he does on his own time.

10 minutes aged 6 and 8 is perfectly fine imo.