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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would this bug you?

95 replies

TwinklyGoldReader · 09/03/2026 22:32

DS had a Mother’s Day afternoon at Nursery today, which was lovely. At the end staff told us to wait for our ‘presents’ and for a photo together with our child.

I was waiting in line and staff kept skipping to the next parent. I hung around a bit because I saw it was a pack of crafts they’d done and a little flower- i’m a sucker for the artwork!

It got to the point where there were 3 parents left and the 2 packs clearly didn’t have DS’ name on. I felt so awkward because none of the staff acknowledged it or offered to take our picture. We were the only ones without. I just quietly left but could have burst into tears (I’m very pregnant so hormones didn’t help!) DS asked where his mommy’s flower was and asked several more times this evening.

He hasnt missed any days and attends the same days as the others in today’s group. I’ve never had a disagreement with staff or raised any concerns. They’re a fantastic nursery but this keeps bugging me tonight! AIBU to let it bother me?!

OP posts:
Hellohelga · 09/03/2026 23:45

Why didn’t you ask? Everyone on here lately seems unable to communicate in the most straightforward scenarios. Yet perfectly able to come on here and explain their disappointment without spring the smallest detail. I despair for society.

Rollerbarbie88 · 09/03/2026 23:45

When you say a pack of crafts, do you mean a craft activity to take away, or a pack of crafts they have already done? If the latter, is it possible your child refused the activity, or if an accumulation of crafts from the past wee while, have you already taken them home?

It is a bit rubbish that they clearly saw you waiting and didn't give an explanation, but equally, you are an adult. You trust these people to keep your child safe, you should be able to manage a conversation. U

Owly11 · 09/03/2026 23:44

How is saying 'oh where's my son's' being that parent??!! It's gonna create a lot more fuss and work for the staff to raise it tomorrow than it would have done to have a 30 second conversation at the time.

TheChosenTwo · 09/03/2026 23:41

SwanRivers · 09/03/2026 23:27

For goodness sake this place gets worse. All you needed was a really simple adult exchange of words.

"Hi, sorry, where is my son's one please?"

I just don't get this MN epidemic of adults not being able to communicate lately.

I read this and felt the same, it would have been a very simple exchange of words from both sides 🥴
People don’t half make life hard for themselves sometimes.

Gray67 · 09/03/2026 23:38

I agree with other posters that you could have asked, but then I think we have all been guilty of freezing in the moment and realising things we should have done in retrospect. And we don't have the full picture, maybe you were feeling hormonal or worried asking could draw your child's further attention etc. You can handle it differently next time but definitely still pull them up on it tomorrow

SwanRivers · 09/03/2026 23:36

I don't even understand what the OP means by she doesn't want to be 'that parent'.

That parent who advocates for her young child?

Why wouldn't you want to be 'that parent' who does this?

Besidemyselfwithworry · 09/03/2026 23:30

SwanRivers · 09/03/2026 23:27

For goodness sake this place gets worse. All you needed was a really simple adult exchange of words.

"Hi, sorry, where is my son's one please?"

I just don't get this MN epidemic of adults not being able to communicate lately.

Absolutely this why not just say where’s my son’s art work? It’s not difficult!!!

SwanRivers · 09/03/2026 23:27

For goodness sake this place gets worse. All you needed was a really simple adult exchange of words.

"Hi, sorry, where is my son's one please?"

I just don't get this MN epidemic of adults not being able to communicate lately.

Gray67 · 09/03/2026 23:13

Be that parent. Because this is sloppy isn't it. And it's not just you. Your kid is asking why they were left out. If you don't pull them up on it how do you know they aren't leaving kids out here and there during the day by accident when parents are not around.

shhblackbag · 09/03/2026 23:02

TwinklyGoldReader · 09/03/2026 22:39

I’ll have to ask but I don’t want to be ‘that’ parent

You'd be unreasonable not to ask.

ColdAsAWitches · 09/03/2026 22:58

You're being unreasonable for not saying anything at the time. You wouldn't have been 'that parent' when clearly there had been some sort of mistake. And it probably was some sort of mistake. There was nothing to stop you asking for your picture to be taken either.

90sTrifle · 09/03/2026 22:53

TwinklyGoldReader · 09/03/2026 22:32

DS had a Mother’s Day afternoon at Nursery today, which was lovely. At the end staff told us to wait for our ‘presents’ and for a photo together with our child.

I was waiting in line and staff kept skipping to the next parent. I hung around a bit because I saw it was a pack of crafts they’d done and a little flower- i’m a sucker for the artwork!

It got to the point where there were 3 parents left and the 2 packs clearly didn’t have DS’ name on. I felt so awkward because none of the staff acknowledged it or offered to take our picture. We were the only ones without. I just quietly left but could have burst into tears (I’m very pregnant so hormones didn’t help!) DS asked where his mommy’s flower was and asked several more times this evening.

He hasnt missed any days and attends the same days as the others in today’s group. I’ve never had a disagreement with staff or raised any concerns. They’re a fantastic nursery but this keeps bugging me tonight! AIBU to let it bother me?!

Why didn’t you ask them whilst there?

TwinklyGoldReader · 09/03/2026 22:39

I’ll have to ask but I don’t want to be ‘that’ parent

OP posts:
TwinklyGoldReader · 09/03/2026 22:37

I suppose I wanted to save them the embarrassment, but I wish I did now! I was exhausted from the afternoon too, so couldn’t face the tension when it was so avoidable. I’m a teacher myself so can’t see how they forgot!

OP posts:
YiddlySquat · 09/03/2026 22:37

Yes I would be upset

Mention it next time you’re in

I kinda get not asking at the time if you felt teary. If I thought I was gonna cry I’d leave too

Blushingm · 09/03/2026 22:36

Was it a paid for thing and you missed the notice?

Didimum · 09/03/2026 22:35

Same question. Why not just ask?

Gray67 · 09/03/2026 22:34

Tell them. Of course something went wrong and they should have acknowledged it. Yes it's not the end of the world - but it wasn't nice. I would pull them up on it in a polite way.

Ninerainbows · 09/03/2026 22:34

I would. It's clearly upset your DS and there's time for him to to still do you the artwork!

CatherinedeBourgh · 09/03/2026 22:33

Why didn't you ask where your dc's pack was?