To complain to school or leave it be

If she is only 7 then at primary there must be a place where she can eat and feel safe. In my town all the primary schools have a facility for this (library area in most) with an LA to support. It doesn’t matter if they do or don’t have a diagnosed need. Their teacher and LA will have assessed and recommended a safe area for the children with this need. Sometimes inside or in a designated quiet area of the playground. I agree with posters thinking she was older. A 7 year old should be looked after better definitely!

Absolutely speak to the school @Receptive1. I teach and every primary school I worked at had somewhere that kids could access if they couldn’t or didn’t want to go outside. There is always a member of staff around that can and should be there for the children who find the playground too overwhelming. If they can’t accommodate that then could you try noise defenders? I’d be upset too OP, the school is not being inclusive.

Is there no where she can sit like a bench to eat her snack?

Totally agree. I'm a secondary school teacher too. I also found children who were being bullied did this too , to escape or hide. I feel awful for the poor kids who feel this is their only safe outlet and I absolutely wouldn't be punishing them

Teachers aren’t in the classroom at break time. Children aren’t generally allowed inside as there’s no supervision.

Such a helpful response!

suggest that as an adjustment for her anxiety she be allowed to eat her snack in the classroom supervised by her teacher or a TA

They will be getting a quick break themselves or supervising the children on the playground. Staff are so thin on the ground there won't be a 1-1 available to sit indoors with one child at breaktime.

My kids primary have an inside ‘nurture’ room for children who struggle with the playground, I was able to access it for my kids when one broke an ankle and for the other when she had friendship issues, it was ‘prescribed’ by the pastoral care officer - I spoke to them on the phone and they arranged it. Could you ask about an adjustment like that for your child?

I can understand why you feel so worried op. From the schools POV, they can’t have children inside because there is no supervision and 7 is very young to be wandering around inside unsupervised. Even if she’s sensible, they have to cover their backs, supervision wise.

I would expect the school to have a quiet area in the playground though. My dds school has a little wooden gazebo to the edge of the yard where no footballs can go. It has books and cushions in it. I would speak to school and explain her issues and ask what could be put in place for her outside to help her. I don’t think you’ll be able to ask for a member of staff to be inside with her 1:1- they will likely be on duty outside or needing to prep for next lesson, have a quick drink/use the loo etc at break time

I know you say no one chooses to eat in a toilet but if she’s only 7 she might not actually understand why it’s disgusting to do so and how she risks making herself ill. And schools will also have rules to discourage silly behaviour in the toilets. So I do get it. She wasn’t supposed to be there and it’s an inappropriate place to eat.

I still think it warrants a chat (no complaint) with the school though. I would ask to talk from the point of view that you hadn’t realised she was struggling so much at break and suggest that as an adjustment for her anxiety she be allowed to eat her snack in the classroom supervised by her teacher or a TA then go out to play or to the library depending on how she’s feeling?

It’s not that unusual to have a rule that children aren’t allowed inside at break/lunchtime surely? If children can wander in and out there wouldn’t be any suitable supervision

But if she's not meant to be there and no one knows she's inside then regardless she is unsupervised.

It's also pretty normal for children to eat their snack outside on the playground after Reception in my experience.

Don't primary usually have the snack in the classroom? This seems an odd set up.

Do they really all eat snacks outside?

The telling off sounds a bit OTT, but eating in the toilet is grim and there needs to be a different plan. The way you've described everything it sounds more Y7 than 7.

I'm going to be honest I assumed she was secondary age. You surely can't expect her to be allowed inside wandering around unsupervised at 7 years old.

The point is, though, that the school needs to adjust the rules to accommodate your DD's particular needs. I can see actually that eating in the library might be a step too far but they must have quiet spaces available somewhere and maybe after she has finished eating , it would be appropriate for her to go to the library for some quiet time. She will need the quiet time to get herself I the right frame of mind to go back into lessons.

It's a snack, right, not lunch? Could she not just quickly eat her snack on the playground and then go to the library?

Speak to the school. You are doing the right thing. Not confrontational just caring fir your daughter.

No one chooses to eat in a toilet...

I work in a secondary school. You'd be amazed.

Our SEN students (and a few who aren't technically SEN) have access to our SEN space at break and lunchtimes as a quiet, safe, well supervised place to go. I would imagine most secondary schools have something similar. Primaries may or may not. It's worth asking.

Assuming primary school .... Why it's understandable that so many think the school should have someplace she should go, the reality is there may not be someplace she can go. Breaks are short, schools are understaffed, and there generally aren't extra adults available to supervise children who don't want to be outside for whatever reason in most schools. Staff that are on duty are outside; the rest are using the toilet and rushing around collecting printing, preparing for their next lesson, dealing with behaviour from the previous session, having 2 minutes to themselves, etc in the 10-15 minute break.

I mean it’s fairly gross to eat in a toilet but why won’t you answer how old she is?

How old is she?