Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Honest opinion - what do you think of parents choosing to have one child?

580 replies

ConnectThree · 09/03/2026 16:33

We have a 7 year old DS and no fertility issues that we know of.
We have still chosen to have only one child.
I guess I’m just wondering what other parents think?

OP posts:
Ninerainbows · 09/03/2026 16:49

I am an only child mum to an only child. I don't even think about it. Of the 8 women in my NCT class, 3 of us stopped at 1. That's nearly half!

Downtownabs · 09/03/2026 16:48

I only have one (for many reasons) and I have literally had people say to me "aww you cant let them be an only child and well what about when you die"...so so rude 😒. I hope by that time they will have a life and support network of their own!

HandfulOfMoths · 09/03/2026 16:47

Nothing but since you ask if I had to think I’d say probably quite wise given economic climate and it would be quite nice to be able to be able to focus on one little person. Each to their own is what I think.

RockyKeen · 09/03/2026 16:46

I’m think it’s your choice as a couple , after all you’re the parents .
OH only ever wanted 1 and now I’m older I’m not going to lie , as much as I love my children and wouldn’t be without any of them , life would have been easier in terms of time and finances.

I wouldn’t judge someone who n the number of children they had or if they chose to have none. One of my daughters says she would rather have dogs 🐕.

LoveHearts69 · 09/03/2026 16:46

Absolutely nothing! Everyone’s situations are different and it would be boring if we all did the same thing!

Cornonthecob17 · 09/03/2026 16:46

I couldn’t care less

Primrose86 · 09/03/2026 16:46

I am one and done too, husband had a vasectomy when I was 6 months pregnant. I feel like people do judge even though i am in London and 3 bed homes in my area are very much in 'inheritocracy' territory.

Endofyear · 09/03/2026 16:45

I think it's their business 🤷‍♀️

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 09/03/2026 16:44

We only had one because of secondary infertility. If I had my time again, knowing what I know now, I would actively choose to only have one.

So no judgement here. You will encounter a minority of people who think it's wrong or selfish just to have one, or that your child will turn out to be spoilt or lonely or whatever. All bollocks for what it's worth.

People with three or more children probably encounter similarly judgemental comments from those who can't seem to keep their opinions to themselves. And that's probably all bollocks too.

I don't think the vast majority of people really care either way.

Mithral · 09/03/2026 16:43

I don't know that it's true nobody cares. I wish it was. I was a a work dinner the other night where three people were agreeing it was unkind to have just one child. One of them was an only herself. I had to pretend to have an urgent call as I was worried I'd start crying (I would have liked more but just had one).

PevenseygirlQQ · 09/03/2026 16:42

I would think it’s none of my business, and would find it strange if people made judgement.

Noshowlomo · 09/03/2026 16:39

I think back in the day, it was rare and there is still some judgement from the older generation.
Ive been asked a few times “ah haven’t you ever thought of having another one”, and I just say we did, she was stillborn. It gets a bit awkward then, lots of “I’m sorry to hear that”, but I hope it means they don’t ask people that again because you never know anyone’s story.
There are a few only children in my son’s class, not loads but a fair few.

Iocanepowder · 09/03/2026 16:39

I completely understand as raising kids today is tiring and expensive.

Trusttheawesomeness · 09/03/2026 16:39

I made this face 🤨 when reading your thread title so opened it to tell you that I made that face because… who gives a fuck how many kids you have? The only time anyone cares is if you have 8 kids and can’t afford to house, clothe and feed them. No one cares if you have 1 kid. Do you have main character syndrome?

SplendidUtterly · 09/03/2026 16:38

I don't care.

toastofthetown · 09/03/2026 16:38

No thoughts. I know more parents who are one and done than parents having more than one child at the moment.

Randomlygeneratedname · 09/03/2026 16:37

Absolutely nothing.

BuffaloCauliflower · 09/03/2026 16:37

I would assume they were doing what was right for them/their family, unless they were a close enough friend for me to have other information to base an opinion on

AccidentalPrawnYouFool · 09/03/2026 16:37

Couldn’t give a shiny shit!

lightand · 09/03/2026 16:37

Average amount of kids used to be 2.4
Now it is 1.4
Having one child is very normal nowadays.
As is none.
As is anything really.

Snorlaxo · 09/03/2026 16:37

Nothing.
The fact that you chose one child is as unremarkable as the fact that I chose to have 3 kids. As long as you can look after your child then it’s fine to be one and done.

Zimunya · 09/03/2026 16:36

AgnesMcDoo · 09/03/2026 16:34

I have zero thoughts about other people’s fertility decisions.

Exactly this. People make their own choices, based on their own decisions, having factored in finances, quality of life, time spent with child, etc. There is nothing "only" about having a single child.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 09/03/2026 16:36

I don’t think much about it at all. It’s none of my business. That might be a responsible choice for that family. Might just be what they want.

Cardomomle · 09/03/2026 16:36

Nothing. No judgement, doesn't even cross my mind.

katgab · 09/03/2026 16:36

Never given it any thought