Honest opinion - what do you think of parents choosing to have one child?

I know so many people who have only one child because it was all that happened. My dearest friend would have loved a huge brood but after many, many miscarriages she has one precious child.
Others who had a very difficult first baby and couldn't face another.
Deliberately choosing one is harder to understand but who knows what lies behind it.

Absolutely, it's worth thinking about.

My dd regularly says that she is grateful for having no siblings because at least she will not have anyone to resent for not pulling their weight when her dad and I are older. Sadly, having siblings is no guarantee that the burden of care will be shared, and having a sibling who chooses not to bother creates a much bigger sense of injustice than never having had a sibling to help in the first place.

My parents were both only children. My DIL and both her parents are only children. It's perfectly normal

Nothing. It's their choice.

How unfortunate that the only children in your friendship group all display such qualities. Rather surprising, too, given that the research shows that none of the negative traits that you describe are disproportionately represented in only children across the population.

Yes, agree with everybody else that my husband isn't only child and wishes desperately he'd had siblings to help with his parents and I suppose to share memories after they've gone

And my sons just love each other and watching them bounce about is lovely.

Mind you, a seven year age gap is probably too much to make a reasonable connection

I think you can do what you want, but I do love the support that I get from my siblings with my elderly mum
That's worth thinking about

@MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack - It definitely would have! But at least you were able to think it 😀

No thoughts at all.

Until now...

No one should be thinking or pressured into having more DC than thay want or can afford.
The old "they need a sibling" tripe isn't always true, there's nothing to say they'll get on once grown up, many do, many don't.

As you're the one looking after them do what suits your lifestyle.

I was never actually brave enough to use it, I'm afraid. But it would have been fun to see the expressions change!!

My personal experience, drawn from my children's various groups of friends, is that only children tend to be selfish, fragile, demanding, immature, hugely hungry for constant attention from children and adults alike and really struggle to share and work well in groups.

But, as with everything, there are positives too, and it's clear that with a lot of the singletons we know, the parental time and energy bestowed on them means that they're usually articulate and have a range of very well developed interests and skills.

The choice, however, is one hundred per cent yours, and absolutely nothing to do with me or anyone else.

@Untalkative - interesting point. DH is one of eight, and one of his sisters has never had a friendship outside of the family. I find that really strange and insular.

I think other people's reproductive choices are their own business.

It's none of my business.

I can't have any and the queries & comments have finally stopped now I'm over 40 but there were so many comments over the years, it neber ceased to amaze me how many people think it's their business.

People should have as many or few as they would like ideally.

Now when it comes to not caring or providing for their children, that's a different issue. I'm very judgy on that!

I wouldn't even wonder. Your reproduction is your business.

That said, those who think relatives like siblings and cousins are built in life companions for their kids are often wrong.

I don't 'think' anything. Many reason why someone might only have one child.

"Couldn’t give a shiny shit!"

Or a fleck of flat-finish faeces.

Or a meagre amount of matte manure.

Or a single satin scat, or a grain of glossy guano.

I have one child and have no intentions of having any more. I do get comments sometimes that it's selfish and he will be lonely but it's really nobodys business. The 3 of us are perfectly happy as we are.

@MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack - "Though I was always tempted to go back with the response "oh no, we don't need to have another, luckily we managed to get it right first time."

This is brilliant, and has made me laugh out loud. I shall keep that in my back pocket for the next time it's required - thank you!

Truly dont give even a tiny fuck

That is one of the weirder reasons for having more than one child that I've ever come across. Maybe people who struggle to make friends need their aunts, uncles or cousins more?

I have aunts and uncles and cousins on both sides, loads of them, they’re all twats. One side stole a load of money from us and generally scammed their way through life, the other side abandoned me and my brothers when we were kids and mum died because they no longer saw us as part of the family. It isn’t all rainbows and kittens in lots of families.

I wouldn’t think anything at all about someone thinking of having just one child. To be honest, I think you might be thinking about it a bit too much.

What do you think other people might think about it? And what do you think it is that you’re actually concerned they might think?

I guess a lot of people are looking more towards friends for a support network these days rather than aunts/cousins etc. I have loads of cousins but it wouldn't really occur to me to turn to any of them in a crisis. Tbh, I wouldn't turn to my dsis in a crisis either - we get on well enough, but she just doesn't really occupy that role in my life.

My mum was very close to one of her siblings but not the other. My dad wasn't close to any of his siblings as an adult.

See, while I have no opinions about the number of other people's children, or indeed whether or not they have any, you would immediately strike me as incredibly small-minded and unimaginative. Do you likewise wonder about the reasons people have two? Surely that also requires a set of reasons? Ditto three or more? Six?