Honest opinion - what do you think of parents choosing to have one child?

The only thing I think is that they have less stress, I had one child, so I know what one child is like.. then I had two...and that is double time and effort... I haven't been brave enough to have three...
Sometimes I am a bit jealous of those with one as I think about how when I had one I could devote everything to that one and still have time to do other stuff. Life was more organised, less chaotic.. money went futher.

But I wouldn't change having two.
But other than those occassional thoughts, I don't think about it.
I don't judge anyone for having any amounts of children.. or none. Sometimes i wish I had four children.. sometimes I think about life if I had none and all the places I would go and beaches I would sit on for hours with a book....

My gran had four children and the amount of shit that goes on with them is unreal. Only two of them have any relationship with each other at the moment and it's intermittent. None of the grandchildren see those aunts/uncles except at funerals. I have two siblings who I love and am close to but we live far apart from each other so support is distant. Practical support in terms of our children is non-existent. My daughter does have cousins and she has good relationships with them but again, it's distant and we have to work really hard to bring them together as much as we can.

Absolutely nothing is guaranteed by how many children you do or don't have.

It’s difficult not to think about it when you have people constantly badgering you asking when you are going to have the next one. I had an only for five years so I know what it’s like. I guess it’s the same as people asking “so are you going to try again for a girl/boy” when you have 2 of the same gender. Busybodies are irksome after a while. People should just mind their own business.

I never really think about it. I have only one child, through choice and I knew I would ever only have one. I love our little family of 3.

I was never lonely and am fine being someone without siblings.

I agree, I think the old fashioned stereotyping shows a bit of ignorance really.

I think great choice, most people choose what is best for their family and if one child is it then that is perfect.

Another though I have is that many siblings never get on or help each other in later life or with elderly parents, so I never understand that argument. A sibling is not a gift for a current child, just the parents.

Why does you care about what other people think of how many children you have?

I wonder if the people who say this rely heavily on sibling relationships and don't facilitate other friendships outwith that.

Good grief but people can be uneducated and ignorant.

I have had the good fortune not to have anyone ask me about my fertility yet but I would eviscerate someone who said something like that to me. Sorry you had to go through this.

I actually wonder if a lot of my parents generation even wanted to have kids. Lots more choice these days, fewer people feel pressure to follow the template and get married and have 2 kids.

Totally agree with this. I don't understand the assumption that an only child is lonely when we have the ability to teach them how to build good relationships with people of their choosing.

Only children don't spend their childhoods locked in their bedrooms, isolated from everyone. They have friends and family, go to school, university, parties etc.

Siblings aren't the only form of companionship and in fact if your sibling is your only friend, I imagine that's a very lonely place to be.

Yes some only children may be lonely. But equally children with siblings and no friends have equal sense of loneliness. I had intense periods of that as a child despite having two siblings (one a twin).

It's been well documented by research the "lonely only child" is a by large a myth and they're no more lonely than those with siblings.

I'd think it was a very sensible decision - I think for many couples one child is the affordable option and also one that enables women to pursue their careers with far less disruption. Having said that though, it's really up to individual couples to determine their family size - it shouldn't really concern anyone else.

Same.
I did what was right for me (one child),
Our school had a number of families with just one child too. All for different reasons.
One had fled an abusive relationship when pregnant.
One was divorced and happily single (the other parent had remarried).
One had carried twins and lost one in infancy.
One had severe problems in pregnancy and nearly died in childbirth.
Yet another had suffered with post partum psychosis.
So all manner of reasons unknown to me initially, and none of those any of my business.

I only have one child, my sister only has one child. My other sister has no children. I have many friends now who have chosen one or none at all. I’m glad that women don’t feel like they are expected to have children now and that their choice whatever that may be is now accepted and not questioned or speculated upon.

I don’t think anything about it at all

I think it's wise, and will likely result in you being happier overall than if you had more.

I don't think anything about it but I know from being a one-child mum (through choice) that plenty of people have plenty to say about something that's none of their business, from accusing parents of being 'selfish' to the emotional manipulation of suggesting children are lonely without siblings.

Actually the only thing I think about it is that it's fascinating how many people I know who only have one child and that one child is a girl!

you do you and don’t care what anyone else thinks.

personally, I would have hated to be an only child and do think it must be quite sad for the child to miss out on that sibling relationship, their kids to have cousins etc.

but I only have 1 child, due to infertility and health reasons so am also aware that life doesn’t always go to plan!

I don't really think anything. I just assume they decided that was right for them.

When I did have one (for nearly the first 10 years of his life due to secondary infertility) I was shocked by how some people would openly ask why I only had one and some would even criticise me to my face. Some of the gems were "you're not a proper family unless you have at least 2" and "an only child is a lonely child". I felt like punching them.

So it's not true that no one thinks anything about it. They should still mind their own fucking business though.

Op this is a really odd post. Why do you need opinions on this matter it’s everyone’s individual decision.

I might wonder if it was for fertility reasons if they were older but that’s only because I am the mother of an only child conceived via ICSI and I’m an older mum. I wouldn’t care but my situation may lead me to wonder if they were the same.

I'm not allowed to answer as you only want parents' opinions

No, but we’re heading towards, or are already in, an inverted pyramid which is worse.

Describes me to a tee! 😊