Mum keeping whole of grandmother’s inheritance

Let it go. You have no right to this money, treating your family to a few meals out is enough.
It sounds like your DM has been financially stable with her head screwed on, you’ll get inheritance when she is dead.

Your mother and aunt don't have to give you a penny. You're not entitled to it because you aren't your grandmother's next of kin.

Yes, it would be nice if they gave some of it to you. But they're not obliged to and you shouldn't have assumed it would definitely happen.

Presumably when your mother dies, you'll inherit from her.

If there is no will, the money goes to your grandmother's children however many there are which sounds like your mother and her sister. Doesn't matter what you thought you were getting ,what you'd quite like, how useful it would be. The money is not yours, it never was and never will be unless your mother leaves it to you in a will ,Or doesn't leave a will and doesn't have a husband. You do you come across as money grabbing because it's not your money.

You aren't legally entitled to it but it's really crap of them to promise their kids a modest share and then change their minds. Sounds like they were happy to promise a hand out when it was a small amount but when it was a big chunk they decided to keep it all. So they have a lot more than expected and you have nothing at all despite the promise.

Nothing much you can do about it unfortunately and asking would sound grabby.

This. If you want to know then ask. But you aren’t entitled to anything, no one should expect inheritance. It’s a nice gift from a loved one after they’ve gone if they have left it to you.

In my case, my grandmother expected that her money would be shared with her 4 grandchildren from 3 children, but did not specifically outline it. My dad kept his chunk for himself, my cousins got given a not-insubstantial lump sum. If it’s not in the will, there is nothing to be done. The lesson in it is to make your own will watertight. It sucks but it’s technically now their money not yours.

Yes - death and money arent taboo subjects in my family - its often easier to discuss trickier things by text as the other person can reply at their leisure/preferred headspace too! However, while i know a few other families like this myself, not all families are the same - interestingly, I come from a working class background and this wouldnt be seen as an out of place conversation, whereas I mix with people brought up very middle class now and opinions would differ!
To put it into context, in my family, the person who originally made the offer would be mortified that they'd forgotten to follow up and say if it was/wasnt happening, and would say 'why didnt you say anything?!?' If they remembered!

If your grandmother had wanted to leave you a legacy, she could have made a will, but she did not and her estate passed to her children under the intestacy provisions. This is what usually happens even if there is a will. Your mother led you to expect a gift of money which has not, so far, materialised. There are many possible reasons for this:

being an executor may have turned out to be a lot more time-consuming and a lot more mentally and emotionally exhausting than she expected, leading her to feel that she has more than earned whatever sum she has inherited;

she may have done her sums properly for the first time and realised that she needs the full sum to secure her finances in retirement, or she wants to put some aside for unpleasant contingencies such as care costs or home alterations;

she may be holding back some money for you, on the basis that you don't really need it at present and she will hand it over when she thinks the time is right.

As others have pointed out, your mother has done nothing wrong in law and people are entitled to change their minds. You are likely to inherit from your mother at some point, although obviously that cannot be guaranteed. Your options are to have the difficult conversation with your mother, or accept that you are not going to get any benefit from grandmother's estate and put it out of your mind, or to keep dwelling on the money and what you could have done with it, in which case it will eat away at you.

Haven't read all the posts but am sure you'll be told you're 'grabby' by a number of posters.

I don't think you are. I've been on the receiving end of financial promises from my family that have never materialised and it's really upsetting. My sister has had endless handouts from my parents, who've always said they'll make it fair in the end, now it turns out they're doing no such thing. It's their money to do with as they want, but don't make promises you're not going to keep. They've got a history of doing this anyway. Said when I was at university that they'd give me enough money that I wouldn't get into debt. They gave me no money until the third year, when I got really ill and they pretty much had to. I've never asked them for a penny but this idea of an 'inheritance' has been lorded over me my whole life and now it turns out there probably isn't one. Ah well.

Anyway, families can really suck. But I don't know yours and they might not be like mine at all - is there any chance your mum just can't deal with this right now, and will make good on her promises once she's not reeling from grief any more?

I’d be really hurt by this. I just can’t imagine having everything I need already myself, inheriting a half share in a property, and 50K on top of that and not using it to help my children with things like getting on the property ladder. I don’t blame you for feeling upset.

It's a hard one because if your grandmother wanted you to inherit anything from her estate she'd have made a will, and she didn't.

However, I do think it's bad form of your mum and aunt to have promised to give you some money and then to have changed their minds without having the decency to at least tell you why. If I said "hey friend, I'm going to give you £4k" and then just never mentioned it again I think they'd be in their rights to be hurt and cross with me.

My mum told me she'd pass on some money to help me out when she inherited from my grandmother, which she then did. I can imagine that I'd feel similarly hurt if she'd gone back on that promise with no explanation. I'm not sure whether I'd casually raise it or not.....but I'd never believe her promises again.

Inheritance moves to the generation below, and then yours comes in the fullness of time, surely?

From experience of this sort of family nonesense, the 'promiser' liked the warm fuzzy feeling they got from making the promise but when it actually came to handing over the cash they didnt want to lose the control.

Doling out little pointless gifts allows them to continue the warm fuzzy feelings.

If you're going to blame anyone blame your grandmother for not making a will. Easy to make promises harder to keep them.

So even though you feel you deserve a share of the new valuation of 100k, did she not even give you the original 4k you were said to be receiving? I think that would be fair, and wouldn't even touch the sides of what she's come away with.

Of course this would be entirely down to goodwill, as there was no will in play.

Aren’t there any ‘trinkets’ or suchlike, at all?
Regret to have to say, but as it’s been such a long time since GM’s death, I don’t believe anything can really be done short of an actual expensive court case?

YABU but simply because I believe people need to stop thinking about other people’s money as their god given right. If it was yours to inherit your grandmother would have made arrangements.

It sucks that they went back on their word but ultimately, it’s their inheritance to do with as they see fit.

If there's no will, your mother & your aunt are the legal heirs.

YABU.

I think you could have a conversation, reminding your mum of what she had previously said, pointing out that the £4k would have been a lot more helpful than occasional treats, and asking why she had changed her mind. She doesn’t have any obligation to give you anything, but it’s unkind to have changed her mind with no explanation.

I wouldn't cause family upset or hold a grudge for £4k. It's a lot of money, but not life changing.

Also, you might not have the complete picture or know what she has in mind long term.

What are the tax implications if any? It would only be 4k so presumably OP wouldnt pay tax.

Would there be IHT implications or care cost implications perhaps?

Reading the OP, she seems to be implying that the increase in the amount (15 vs 100k) would result in the grandchildren getting 25k each?

Do you know what the actual amount these assets were sold for rather than just the valuation? Do you know if the estate had debts? Do you know the final amount your mum would get (after putting in the time to sort out the estate)? It mightn't amount to as much as you think.
Even if it's a good amount of money your mum and aunt may have to secure their own futures eg enabling you dad (& uncle) to retire earlier, planning for care costs or home adaptations in case they need that. Even aside from that you seem to think you grandchildren should split the possible £100k rather than 15k, which seems pretty enitiled.
You could try asking if you will be getting anything from your gran's estate to remember her by and see if that opens a dialogue. Go gently, your mother is still grieving (and from experience it can be like a fresh wave hits once all the admin is finally done).

Inheritance brings the worst out in some people.

I would be furious and ask them outright to be honest.

We all know legally you haven't got a claim. They can do as they wish, you will look grabby blah blah blah

But it's really shitty to promise someone money and then change your mind without an explanation.

A few years ago a relative left all his money to me with a verbal agreement to distribute between certain family. I could have legally kept the lot but I'm not a dick so I shared as promised.

I feel sorry for you op