Mum keeping whole of grandmother’s inheritance

Yes you can - might be worth looking

I would have just sent a text going 'hey mum, just wondering if you had any idea when im likely to get that money you promised from Gran, as just trying to do a bit of planning'
Nice and casual, and with the assumption that you are still getting the money (because as far as you know you still are!)

Did you read the OP

She says there is no will

Mum and aunty had 'promised' to divide some of the cash assets is all, and OP was told this

OP no, you are not entitled to anything and yes you will look money grabbing

The law means the estate passes to your mum and aunty, assuming no living partner of grandmother and no other siblings.

So thats that.

If your mum originally agreed that £15k would be split 4 ways and hasn’t even done this and went on to keep £100k for her and her sister, that’s pretty unpleasant.
Don't be scared, ask her.

Yes, i don't understand why they didn't do this to keep the peace - and hold the rest back if they have a reason in mind. That said, once you start cutting into a lump sum it does dwindle.

I have money earmarked for my DC from an inheritance. Which I'll give them when I'm good and ready, when I think they're ready to receive it and do something sensible with it. I know people will say you can't give a gift with conditions, which is why I haven't given it yet.

I think it is this. They might have felt comfortable to give a smaller amount with "no strings" but there could be reason they don't want to do this yet with a larger amount. It need not be related to you op. Is there, perhaps, a spendthrift cousin - or a current partner on the scene they could envisage encouraging a "blow out" with the funds?

@outerspacepotato Mum and Aunt promised the grandchildren the sum of the miscellaneous assets, which they thought would be about £4k each. It turns out the assets amounted to £85k more than they thought. So even with costs and bills to settle, I reckon they could still spare £4k each for the grandchildren.

I just don’t understand how a parent thinks this is morally right, even if just the intial Promise of the £4K was given, but I suppose everyone’s different, my dad won £15k on a bet (years ago) and split the 5k between me and my 2 brothers, he didn’t even need to tell us he won but he likes to help his kids when he can.

I’d love to hear from parents that do this. It’s completely alien to me.

@TaxBrain Mum and Aunt promised the grandchildren about £4k each, but have changed their minds, which is their prerogative, but not very nice.

As the inheritance went to your mum and not her children so it's up to her if she gives you any, of course youd feel sad about it. It is sad. If it were me id help my children out bfore me as its painful to watch my children suffer financially. However everyone is just not the same. Your mum knows about your financial struggles and is not offering to help, its a tough pill to swallow and ive been there too. Sorry 🙁

You shouldn't approach her, as it will look like you just care about the money. Maybe drop subtle hints here and there, oh I cant afford to .. such and such ..maybe ? There's not much you can do.

@ThejoyofNC OP says “there was going to be about £15k misc assets/cash which was promised (by my mum and aunty) to be split between all the ‘grandchildren’ I.e. me, my brother and 2 cousins. we’d get about £4k each.”

My understanding was that whilst Mum and Aunt thought the miscellaneous assets would amount to about £15k, they were happy to donate it. But since discovering it’s much more, they’ve changed their minds.

If there was no will, the estate would have been divided under intestate laws which means your mum and her sister get 50% of the estate each.

Your mum kindly suggested that she could give you some of the money from the portion that she received. Since then she has obviously changed her mind and has decided that she would rather treat you now and again than give you a lump of cash.

That is absolutely her prerogative. It's her money, to do what she likes with.

I feel angry that my mum didn’t follow through on this. Coupled with the fact that we haven’t been gifted anything of meaning from my grandmothers possessions I am feeling somewhat resentful.

You were not entitled to anything. Your resentment is ill placed and not worth falling out over. You were not left anything in the will because there was no will so just accept that, let go of the anger and get on with your life.

This. Cant understand why they wouldn't help you all out.

I'd give my DC £4000 to spend (or waste) as they see fit, much more easily than I'd give them a life changing sum to fritter away, even if it was all money I didn't need.

It brings to mind Jane Austin's Sense and Sensibility where John and Fanny Dashwood talk about their moral obligation to look after the family. They talk down from a handsome sum to basically nothing (occasional gifts) with lots of self serving arguments.

It would be good to understand how your mum went from gifting the lot to you to nothing especially as the inheritance was so much larger than expected. Maybe it's because it's so much larger.

Interesting because I have money earmarked for my DC from an inheritance. Which I'll give them when I'm good and ready, when I think they're ready to receive it and do something sensible with it. I know people will say you can't give a gift with conditions, which is why I haven't given it yet.

I haven't told them it's coming their way and afaik, they don't consider the fact that I inherited to mean they're entitled to some. I know OP appears to have been promised it, but lots of people seem to think it should automatically be passed on. The mother will have her reasons.

You're family.

I dont understand why you haven't just asked Hey Mum, you know you said we'd get that 4k? Well I could really do with it. Am I getting it? No worries if not but just wanted to know?

And then you'll know.

I think what is really interesting is that the change of heart seems to have come after it was discovered that the amount was greater than expected.

Are there any spendthrift grandchildren op? Perhaps they felt a properly "useful" sum ought to be invested and grown.

In any case, if there is no Will the intestacy rules prevail.

Unfortunately there's not a lot you can do if there was no will, you could speak to your mum about it and just ask her but she may have changed her mind or maybe could no longer honour her promise so you might have to be prepared for that.

but you were never promised "a large lump sum" in the first place. You were only ever told you'd get a bit under £4k.

Yes, it's annoying that your mother has gone back on that, but I don't think it's worth getting upset about things like a house deposit when you were never actually told you were going to get that sort of money in the first place. If your grandmother had cared that strongly about her GC getting the money rather than her children, she would have made a will. Chances are you will be getting some of it, at some point anyway, but right now, legally, it's your mums and your aunts. It's not as though it's just your mum denying her DC, your aunt seems to have made the same decision.

Perhaps they'll change their minds at some point when they've moved on a little bit past their immediately stage of grieving and the admin faff of going through probate. By all means have a polite conversation with your mum, if you want to just get an understanding of her rationale. Maybe tie it into a general conversation about her finances generally, if there's anything you need to know, whether she wants to think about a POA at any point, etc.

It literally says in the very first sentence of the OP that there was no will

My mum would have given us the money, well or no will. I can’t get my head round parents who don’t want to help their adult children get a good start life yes I can afford it. It would give me so much pleasure to be able to help my kids out with a house deposit.

Legal advice would be a complete waste of money. The estate has been distributed according to the law.

I think your mum has behaved really badly. I was due to receive a decent sum from my mum and promised to give some to my children for house deposits and that is what I did.

Obviously legally she doesn’t have to, but it’s a really mean trick to play on your own children. I can’t believe anyone thinks this is okay.
It’s obviously eating away at you op, so personally I would say something.