To be annoyed that older people can’t just send a text rather than phoning for the slightest thing?

And the other person calling doesn't get "the message" that you're not available that instant and continues repeat calling and/or leaving messages until you finally get chance to call them back. If they'd just leave a message and wait, no problem, but they don't. They can't bear the thought that you don't think they're important enough to drop everything for!

As I said in my earlier post, you can't just "not answer" as lots of people leave messages, getting ever more desperate/urgent sounding when you don't answer even when it's not urgent nor important. They seem incapable of accepting you're actually busy doing something else and won't wait until a convenient time for me to call them back. If they just called, left a message and waited patiently, it wouldn't be a problem, but far too many people just accept you to drop everything and take their call or call them back within a few minutes. That's the problem with who "trumps" who! Far too many seem to take it as a personal insult when you don't drop everything to chat to them about trivial things even when they know you're at work, driving, in meetings, etc.

People who think phone calls are intrusive clearly don't understand how telephones work. If you don't want to speak to someone or don't have time to, you don't have to! We have voicemail and answerphones, marvellous new fangled inventions since the 1980s, which take care of the not convenient problem.

Why does yours trump theirs? Either answer the phone or don’t. 🤷‍♀️

In my 60s and have certain friends / family that l call for a chat and vice versa..every few weeks. We usually WhatsApp first to see when is a good time. Otherwise all messages. But we are building a new house and my dh deals with all workers. They are calling constantly to say they are coming, or delayed or not coming...all calls. Must be a thing in that business. My dh never complains as just accepts it.

There are times for texting and times for making phone calls. It doesn’t have to be either or. It depends on what is being communicated.

I feel the complete opposite. Why do people insist on endless back and forth texts when a quick phone call would be much easier. (I'm in my 40s)

It seems that it's you who has the problem here. You seemed obsessed about trying to make other people choose differently than what works for them best. If you don't have the spine to even mention your own preference, then it's just ridiculous that you simply expect anyone else, of any age, to magically do what you prefer them to do in their communications with you.

The great majority of people over 60 can send a text message. Some of them prefer calling. It's not that hard, and there's nothing wrong with their preference.

THIS!! It's what I can't understand about the older generation's reluctance to use smart phones, apps, online banking, online shopping, etc. It's not as if it's all just happened in the last 5 years!

Take banking. Cash dispensers were commonplace back in the early 80s - 40 years ago! Telephone banking came in during the 90s - 30 years ago. Online banking came in during the noughties - 20 years ago. Yet we still have people who can't cope if they can't go into a bank branch to pay a bill or withdraw a tenner! Have they been living under a rock for the past 40 years?? Fair enough for people who are in their 80s and 90s as they'd have already been "middle aged" during the 80s and 90s. But for 60 year olds, like me, I was paid by BACS from my first wage, got my first credit card a few weeks after starting my first job, barely ever wrote a cheque, did telephone banking (with a little noise generating calculator type thingie) from the mid 90s, and was banking online from the noughties. It must be at least 20 years since I set foot in a bank. Yet, there are people around my age who are bemoaning they don't get cheque books automatically sent anymore, bemoaning all the bank branches are closed and they can't pay bills over the counter or get cash over the counter. Like I say, fair enough (just) for 80+ year olds (but who still had a couple of decades to embrace tech before they hit retirement age), but for my generation, people in their 50s and 60s, the tech has been there throughout our working lives.

Same with communications. Email and mobiles became common and affordable in the 90s and very widespread in the noughties - at least 20 YEARS ago, but some people still regard it as some kind of demented badge of honour that they won't use them, even people much younger, even in their 50s and 60s.

Do these people think that the technology will suddenly stop and reverse and they'll be able to go back to the old ways??

@FictionalCharacter

Have you actually told the builder you'd prefer him to text instead of call? Or do you just take the call, say nothing and moan about it afterwards? Is he meant to be aware of your communication preferences by some kind of psychic power?

If I text or email someone, I'd expect them to text or email back in the same way. It's a kind of "signal" that I prefer text if I text someone rather than phone them. When dealing with tradesmen, I always text or email as I want a written record of what's been discussed and agreed. If they phone me back to give a quote or agree to do something, I ask them to text/email to confirm what they've just said. I think a lot of tradesmen prefer the phone for "deniability" when things go wrong or they try to overcharge as there's no proof of what was agreed.

It was kind of an unwritten rule when I started work in the early 80s before mobiles and email, that if a client phoned in and left a message, we'd respond by phone, likewise if they wrote a letter to us, we'd reply by letter. One of the first things I "learned" in the workplace really to "match" communication preferences where possible. But we also knew to think about when to phone a client and tried to do it first thing or end of day, especially for clients who ran shops etc who wouldn't appreciate trying to have a professional phone call about their finances in front of a shop full of customers. We certainly didn't just randomly call at all hours of the day expecting them to drop everything to talk about their tax return as we knew they'd likely be busy!

I think it's become a symptom of our "self obsessed" World these days when we expect everyone else to drop everything on a whim to chat on the phone!

Yup, people who phone but leave a message and wait patiently for you to call back aren't really a problem. It's the ones who can't get it into their thick skull that you might actually be busy doing something else that are the problem. Even worse when they make it sound urgent with "call me straight back" and then ring back several times leaving ever more urgent sounding messages throughout the day, and you finally call back and they just want a gossip or to ask a question that is neither urgent nor important. Drives me insane. Unfortunately some older people just have no concept that other people are working, shopping, dealing with other issues like tradesmen, in meetings, etc., because they've got all the time in the World themselves and seem to forget what it was like when they were younger, working, dealing with children etc.

Have you actually told the builder you'd prefer him to text instead of call? Or do you just take the call, say nothing and moan about it afterwards? Is he meant to be aware of your communication preferences by some kind of psychic power?

And yes you are being ageist, and your perception of older people is incorrect. Dozens of people on this thread have told you they're over 60 and do use text and WhatsApp etc. But you still insist that people over 60 turn into a different species which is determined to annoy you by phoning instead of texting.

My 76yr old mum always WhatsApps me. We speak on the phone by arrangement.

So yes, you're being ageist. Perhaps some people prefer ringing because their experience is that a text often doesn't get answered for hours and they need to know something now.

I’m the same age as you and I find a call more efficient. It’s just a preference. The bin example would be fine as a text but in the case of the contractor I’d much prefer a call. You can ask follow up questions in 2 minutes without having to send five texts back and forth which would annoy me.

Mid Fifties here and phone calls are intrusive AF. I always text first to check someone is available before I call. Same at work using Teams.

God I've heard it all now. A neighbour calling is an invasion of privacy.
I should go live in a cave with no signal if I were you. I bet you don't answer your door if you're not expecting someone.

I am 53 and have always disliked the phone. Landlines were horrific - mobiles much, much less so, as you can usually tell who is calling (unless its a cold call in which case you can decline to answer).

However, the way my children (early twenties and late teens) look at a ringing phone like it’s a bomb about to go off makes me seethe. I mean, sometimes in life you have to receive or make a phone call. Get a fucking grip.

Anyone in their 60s is likely to have owned their mobile since they were in their 30s. Texting isn't some newfangled invention that we can't get our heads around.

You are being ageist and you admit it. If you don't want to chat just don't answer your phone.

yes, that would annoy me to. however, on the flip side of that I get so annoyed when I receive a 100 texts trying to arrange something that’s with an individual not a group. You can be to & fro immediately and I’m like can’t we just talk instead. It’s actually taking more time to arrange a coffee meet up than actually having a quick 5 minute conversation. I actually try and ring when this happens and quite a few friends text back. Cant talk as I’m cooking dinner. Typing that out takes longer than saying it. And you’re literally responding to my messages instantly and even typing as i am. What the fuck are you cooking. Fish fingers 🤷🏼‍♀️.

I'm very old and I loathe phone calls.
Texts work for me every time.
It means the sender can send at their leisure.
The receiver can read at their leisure - and respond as and when they have time.

And as for, "why don't you join our WhatsApp group, then we could include you in the calls?" - bugger off! I'd then have to look at you all as well as talk to you all - no thanks!

The helpless old lady who's useless with technology card is an excellent get out for that one.

Family/friends must hate me. I almost always call - rarely text as very questionable mobile signal indoors. If anything business wise I tend to email. No one has said anything to me, and seemingly answer cheerfully, but I guess I have been unintentionally annoying people about the phone. Oh dear! ps I am 60

My mum is in her 80s and texts or WhatsApp me a lot. We do speak too but I'd say it's less than 50% of our interactions.