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AIBU?

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Original poster

Fed up already maternity leave

160 replies

SpookyTeacup · 09/03/2026 00:56

I'm miserable. I've waited so long for my miracle baby and I absolutely love her to death. Her dad, however, is showing me what a complete waste of a human he is. I'm 1 week PP, trying to exclusively breastfeed and he gets angry with us both because she's always feeding and it's not 'normal' (she's cluster feeding). He's laughed at how little milk I'm able to pump, called my nipples weird because theyre flat. All he's done for the whole paternity leave is game despite me asking for attention - he laughs at me. He's physically supportive by doing the bare minimum of changing a dirty nappy, cleaning, or having me take her to him - only if she's sleeping - to have in a cot next to him whilst he games so I can have a short nap. There's zero emotional support for me and he laughs if I suggest it. I let him sleep through the night and I deal with all the feeding, crying, nappies. I'm so tired and running on zero. He's gotten angry with us both again cause of her cluster feeding and now I can't settle her. I'm so upset

OP posts:
SnowFrogJelly · 09/03/2026 01:16

Reepycreepy · 09/03/2026 01:11

Posts like this are really horrible. You should be bloody ashamed of yourself.

@SpookyTeacup I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time. Do you have family or a friend you could go and stay with? Your partner is being awful to you, you need to get away from him. This is abusive behaviour. 💐

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Why is it horrible? No I’m not ashamed it’s a fair comment after OP’s description of her DH

PinkyFlamingo · 09/03/2026 01:15

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PinkyFlamingo · 09/03/2026 01:12

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graygoose · 09/03/2026 01:12

I'm so sorry OP. Cluster feeding and struggling with feeding generally are very normal, and this manchild has clearly done no research or learning whatsoever about babies and child rearing.

This was me, minus the putting me down and laughing at me but plus going out drinking into the small hours. I left him when DD was 10 weeks old and it was horrendous but the best thing I ever did. He is a much better co-parent than husband and full-time parent. BUT - I had family nearby who were able to take DD while I struggled in the trenches of suicidal PPD.

It doesn't sound like you are there but please, please keep an eye on your mental health. Your hormones are all over the place and if you have an unsupportive partner in a bad relationship then that coupled with the hormone crash can mean bad things.

Can you talk to your HV? And maybe do consider leaving and moving in with your mum. You need support full stop. I get feeling like a twat and the shame of asking family for help and telling family and friends your husband isn't doing his job and is, in fact, a crap husband (from the sounds of it he absolutely is). But that shame is not yours to bear, it is his. You do the best you can for yourself and for you baby and don't mind his reputation or ego one bit.

Reepycreepy · 09/03/2026 01:11

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Posts like this are really horrible. You should be bloody ashamed of yourself.

@SpookyTeacup I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time. Do you have family or a friend you could go and stay with? Your partner is being awful to you, you need to get away from him. This is abusive behaviour. 💐

Original poster
SpookyTeacup · 09/03/2026 01:06

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She's my IVF miracle. Don't.

OP posts:
Original poster
SpookyTeacup · 09/03/2026 01:06

Mum doesn't live nearby but would come stay if I asked. Gonna feel like a twat asking whilst husband is home on paternity given that's his job... looking after his family.

Doesn't help that baby won't settle and is screaming at the boob. Trying to not let my hormones take over and cry cause that's just gonna stress baby out even more.

OP posts:
SnowFrogJelly · 09/03/2026 01:01

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Unexpectedlysinglemum · 09/03/2026 01:00

I’m so sorry you deserve to be treated like a princess this week. Who loves you? If you have a nice mum or sister or best friend please tell her everything and ask if you can come and stay or if she’ll stay with you.

pinksquash13 · 09/03/2026 01:00

Sounds horrendous. So sorry you're going through this. It's very normal for a newborn to feed all the time. Have you got family support nearby you can access? It honestly sounds like you need to leave him when that's realistic for you. He sounds horrible.