Mismatched Sex Drive Hack: The Marital Magic Minute

We have a mis matched sex drive. I feel like I need a bit more information on your theory.
What have you agreed you'll do - literally for 1 minute every day, you do something physical and see if it leads to anything?
Or is it when HE feels horny, you agree to comply for 1 minute only to see if you get into it or not before saying no or carrying on?
This is sort of how I'm reading it, but can you be more specific?!
I have often said to DH that although I'm rarely in the mood, I often GET in the mood once we've actually started. So I can sort of see how it improves things for the person with the higher sex drive if you go with the higher sex drive but stop after 1 minute if the lower sex drive isn't into it. But I'd also hate to add the extra pressure each time for myself.
Interesting nonetheless!

Because they’re a couple, not housemates. A wank doesn’t provide the intimacy and affection that are supposed to be part of a relationship. The fact that even a cuddle is rationed to one minute speaks volumes.

If a woman on here said ‘my husband has no sex drive and will only tolerate sexual activity for one minute at a time’ people would certainly be saying he needed to do something about it.

who said romance was dead

why would he stay in such a miserable relationship? of course she doesn't have to do anything, but that's not a real relationship is it. He should just walk away.

If a man treated a woman that way "Why can’t She just have a wank and calm down?*, people would be horrified.

Perhaps it's the "so unattractive an option you'll very rarely go for it but also I'm offering daily sex so you can't complain"

I agree with you in essence but this is about more than sex. He can either have a 60 second fuck or a 60 second cuddle or a 60 second BJ etc. He can't just have a cuddle whilst they watch a movie unless she times it because it's so intolerable to her most of the time. That's a massive red flag from her about the state of their relationship

I can't understand the point of staying in a relationship where your partner is not attracted to you, and can just about manage 60seconds of interest a day.

It must be so depressing.

What’s the point then? He’d be better off having a wank in peace.

If the only sex life my boyfriend could offer me was fingering me for 60 seconds before saying ‘Right, time’s up’ and leaving me unsatisfied, I’d be leaving.

is that serious?

I can't decide if it's ridiculous or very sad.

I feel like this should be a AMA.

I get mismatched sex drives etc. But your obliging your partner with one minute of cuddles a day he wants affection and you figure you can put up with cuddling him for 1 minute a day?? Do you even like him? If he has a peck on the lips that last 2 seconds do you cut those 2 Secidnary off thr cuddle? Does he have to get himself hard so he can shove it in and he done in a minute?

I actually think this is LESS healthy than occasional sex.

How awful to think that intimacy with your spouse is so unwanted that they have to break it into one-minute chunks.

If I were him, I'd find someone who could bear to cuddle me or have sex with me for more than one minute.

Implementing a 1 minute rule a day where you feel obligated sounds miserable. I would rather be single.

Why does she have to do anything? She’s not broken. Why can’t he just have a wank and calm down?

One minute? That’s hilarious. You’d not even have got started.

It doesn't really sound magical OP, it sounds like you're servicing him to keep him happy. It's not how I think a close loving relationship should work!

I am however a big fan of the morning quickie - doesn't take long and sends him off to work with a smile on his face! ☺️

Eh

Divorce sounds far more simple tbh.

@randomchap is my hero

OP speaking as someone in a sexless marriage this sounds fucking miserable. If you cannot bear to touch your husband and have to endure it, for goodness sake give him the option to have a normal life with someone who cares about him.

I’ve read some shit on here over the years but this? Best in show for sure.

OP is probably a ‘post and run’ merchant anyway.

Honestly OP, if it's working for you then well done for finding something that is helping to bring a bit of missing closeness to your relationship.

Every journey of a thousand miles starts with a first step (or whatever the exact phrase is) and if this is helping to bring back something that has been lost over time then that's excellent.

I think this is an interesting idea, I get anxious about starting something I can’t finish, kids walking in, the zillion other things that are on my mind…so I often don’t start anything

I'm thinking he could do one minute of house cleaning in exchange. Sounds reasonable.

I'm confused - surely a minute would just get him started and then leave him frustrated? How would that help?!?

you limit cuddles?

What are you doing to deal with your lack of sex drive?