Mismatched Sex Drive Hack: The Marital Magic Minute

how fast you orgasm when you have sex isn’t
indicative of your sex drive. Your sex drive is how often you want to have sex. You could have sex once a year and orgasm within 2 mins but doesn’t mean you have a high sex drive because you orgasm. You might not want to have sex, but enjoy it when it happens. Enjoying it and having multiple orgasms doesn’t mean you want it anymore regularly so has zero impact on your actual sex drive.

Jeez, I hope this never becomes me. One minute is ridiculous, i’d imagine that just leads to more frustration than nothing. Imagine your husband or wife restricting you to 1 minute of pleasure. I mean you’ve barely got going in 60 seconds, and then its over.

Have you seen your GP about your sex drive? I think that would be a better use of your time than subjecting your DH to 1 minute BJ’s. I actually feel sorry for him that he’s ended up agreeing to this. I’ve read some odd stuff on here over the years but this one is up there with the madness.

The way my so-called relationship has been over the past few years (basically a couple of phone calls each week and actually clapping eyes on each other maybe 3 times a year), right now I'd be happy to receive a one minute cuddle each month!

🤣🤭😆

@Ohyeahitsme that's interesting. We're all different aren't we .

Low sex drive is how much you want sex. How easily you orgasm is completely unrelated for some people. I hardly ever want sex. But I do orgasm very easily, for me they aren't at all linked.

I can understand making a time for a hug/ kiss every day, as these small intimacies can get lost/ forgotten in the trenches with small kids/ sleepless babies. This is taking it a step too far

I think a lot of that is because a lot of men are simply woeful in bed, so of course a lot of women don't enjoy it

Yes, I'm sure that's sometimes the case. Although a lot of what I read on Mumsnet leads me to believe that a lot of women are also simply woeful in bed. An awful lot of posters seem to think that provided the man gets to put his dick into something, that's enough, and that they therefore shouldn't have to make any effort whatsoever. On Mumsnet, the default assumption is that if a man ever struggles to come, the only possible reason must be a porn addiction, rather than any lack of skill/effort/variety on the part of his partner.

I agree there’s a core on MN who push the idea that its normal for women to go off sex/hate sex but it really isnt because men are woeful at it. It’s a coping mechanism where to put the blame squarely on men’s shoulders rather than admit it’s an issue that is wholly or in part their fault. They would much rather push an agenda where it’s perfectly normal for women to lose all sexual desire and for men to be entirely unreasonable for wanting sex vs admitting regular sex is an essential complement of most healthy relationships.

I think OP is not explaining well
She does say
None of it is only limited to 1 min a day! Of course we cuddle and do stuff randomly, this is more as the daily reminder for when days are busy and you could be ships in the night.

And

Its not in place of all intimacy. Its the bare minimum. It's been able to say "ok we can have 1 minute" and knowing if there are kids in the house, 1 minute is our best chance of not being disturbed, so I can switch off enough.

Although I'm not sure I do n understand the set up.
I also don't understand how someone who orgasms so quickly ,( after 10 to 20 strokes ) can describe themselves as having a low sex drive.

No sorry but if I'm not in the mood for sex, then I'm not doing it even if it was just 1 minute

😂😂

"this one time, at band camp" comes to mind

I like to think OP shouts NOW, they discreetly shut themselves in the airing cupboard, set a phone timer for a minute and play So Solid Crew 21 Seconds loudly to disguise the noise of the between 10-20 strokes.

OP he's going to leave you, this is not magical in any sense.

Lord have mercy, you do not know what goes on behind closed doors.

Well now that's all I'm going to hear next time I'm intimate with DH 😆

I agree with this. It's seen as normal for women to hate/dread/merely put up with sex rather than enjoy it. However, I think a lot of that is because a lot of men are simply woeful in bed, so of course a lot of women don't enjoy it.

I reckon she plays the Countdown music.

Absolutely this.

There's such a weird thing on Mumsnet where people act as if women hating sex and finding it all a bit silly and grubby, and treating it as a unpleasantly messy and unhygienic gift that has to be reluctantly bestowed upon men to keep them happy (because men are basically animals and/or perverts for having a sex drive), is the default attitude.

It's like they think actually fancying their husbands and enjoying a good fuck is somehow a bit common.

I have so many questions but one I don't think has been asked is how you time the minute?

I’d use an old school stopwatch and a whistle.

I have so many questions but one I don't think has been asked is how you time the minute?

Like do you count the seconds in your head (both of you or just one of you)? I am doing a lot of physio at the moment that requires holding stretches for 60 seconds and it's both surprisingly hard (easy to lose count) and very boring. Then do you just call out "time's up!" or something?

Or do you set a timer? On your phone? That goes beep after 60 seconds?

I am struggling to process either of those scenarios happening in real life and I would rather not have sex at all. No wonder the husband chose 60 seconds of cuddles.

Wouldn't it be in a woman's interest to have a longer timeframe? I thought that generally we take longer to warm up so to speak. I don't think I've ever had sex where anything earth-shattering happened in the first minute.

1 minute is our best chance of not being disturbed, so I can switch off enough.

Get a lock for your door?

what woman would be over the moon if her husband was saying: I am doing it for 1mn, then finish yourself, I am not interested, and I am done anyway.

It'd be interesting to post exactly that as a separate thread, and see how it scores.

I might wait a few months and give it a go.

I love the "are you a man" comment when I shake my head at the OP,

when in real life, what woman would be over the moon if her husband was saying: I am doing it for 1mn, then finish yourself, I am not interested, and I am done anyway.

What a turn-on and what a loving relationship.

How?

I have a lack of sex drive. No idea how to sort it at all. I'm all ears. I've no trauma or history of abuse. Attracted to my partner. Previously had a good sex drive. Not anemic or low in B12, I'm perimenopausal but not sufficiently so to qualify for hrt yet. I'm 42. Clean bill of health, no underlying physical or mental health issues, no depression. Partner is active and engaged in the household, no hidden resentment or such. Have tried various "gummies" and herbal remedies.

Solution?

Your miracle minute would do absolutely but frustrate me 😞!

@MagicMinutesounds completely joyless to me, but if it works for you both that’s great..

This is repulsive, your OP was bad enough ending with " and then it's done "