Walking alone at night

I would have no interest in being ‘walked home’ because as a grown woman I don’t need a chaperone at night. But obviously if you want ‘chivalry’ then he isn’t the man for you.

Also, are you’ve been together for three years and you still go home separately after every date? You don’t spend the night together? Where’s the relationship going, exactly?

Ditch him.
If he's not concerned about your safety now, it doesn't bode well for the future.
No man worth his salt lets his girlfriend walk home alone at night after being with him.

That would be a deal breaker for me.

I think it sounds like you're just basically incompatible. You want something he's not willing to give so you either suck it up or dump him and move on.

It wouldn't be a dealbreaker for me - I'm quite happy walking home by myself but I live in a small safe town. If it's a dealbreaker for you then dump him 🤷‍♀️

As I said, people have different needs. Perhaps if she wants that kind of man she needs to find someone she's more compatible with.

Statistically, men are more likely to be attacked than women.

I have never had to "get on with it" and walk around in the dark late at night.

I am really surprised at some of these responses. I would not go out with someone who didn't walk me to my door if it was only a few minutes away and it was late at night.

DH never walked me home after a night out when we were dating. It's not something I felt I needed or would have wanted, so I can't remember if I told him it was unnecessary or if he didn't offer/didn't occur to me. These days I don't go out socialising late very often but sometimes I'll go to a shop around 9-10pm and it wouldn't bother me to do that alone, and it wouldn't be practical for him to come with me as we have dcs at home. You just have to get on with it sometimes, and not going out after dark on your own certainly isn't an option when you're picking up dcs from school in December.

He's generally quite chivalrous, will carry bags, always paid on dates and has had no issues being the sole breadwinner the whole time we've been married.

Is it a route/time of night you would walk alone if coming home after an evening out with friends, rather than your boyfriend? If so, I don't see the point of him walking you home.

Even my old company I worked late for on occasion at used to supply taxi's home because they didn't want their staff walking home past 11pm.

It's just being caring? Feeling valued?

I would not walk in a town at night alone, would not want any of my grown kids to, 2f,2m. But I would expect my sons to make sure that any females were seen safely home by some means.
OP if you feel unsafe please stop putting yourself through this, factor in getting yourself home safely always. Never "cut through " whatever that means. Ditch the selfish bf you deserve better.

This is it really

I don't generally bother with men

If I'm going to, then it has to be one who is okay with doing stuff like this.

Not a man you have been in a relationship for 3 years though I'm willing to bet! The OP has been with this bloke for 3 years, He's not some random trying to force her to walk to her home with him! And as a pp said, the OP WANTS him to walk her to her door!

If a man I had been with for 3 years constantly let me walk home alone in the dark, he would be showing me who he is. An uncaring selfish individual who would be dumped ASAP.

Actually it's a moot point as he wouldn't have lasted 3 months, or even 3 weeks!

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He’s not the one for you. Regardless of who is more likely to come a cropper statistically, this is a metaphor for wanting to feel loved and cared for. He doesn’t make you feel like that. Goodbye to him.

The OP wants him to walk her home though, so it’s not the same thing.

Maybe, but I've enough experience of men trying to insist on walking me home to know that it's not always easy to assert the right to make my own choices and risk assessments.

Neither can I. If you want that kind of man perhaps you should look elsewhere. I would find it suffocating but people have different needs.

Exactly! If my husband had say, a cancer scare, and had to go for tests, and scans and the like, I wouldn't let him go alone! No way would he face it alone! It's not controlling or bossy. It shows you care, and that you love that person.

Re; the OP's dilemma; any man who wilfully lets the woman he claims to love walk home alone in the dark is not worth shit IMO, and would be dumped yesterday!

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I think it's wise of you to consider the risk and don't think you are being unreasonable. In this case I agree that he should support you to get home safely. I'm a distance runner and regularly find myself in the middle of nowhere with my Labrador who I don't think provides much of a deterrent. I've recently been considering ways of keeping myself a bit safer but the options are quite limited. Pepper spray is illegal in the UK as considered a firearms offence so it definitely seems weighted in the favour of potential attackers which seems mad to me. The only other suggestions that may be an option would be to have a set of keys to hand or a tactical pen.

He’s not the man you want, it doesn’t really matter who is right or wrong. Why settle for someone you’re not compatible with?

It's a turn of phrase.

He's an idiot with "not all men" and that would annoy me in its own right. Presumably you're not worried about all men converging on your home town to attack you in the street at night, but the risk that one man will. Since one is all it takes to kill you or destroy your life forever.

I would ditch him

Lazy fucker doesn't care about you. Even when I was 15 my boyfriend walked me home to the door after being at his house!