Walking alone at night

The women that are raped/ attacked / at night, are attacked by men.
So there's a huge difference between a man walking alone at night, and a woman walking alone at night.. if you really don't know this then check the crime statistics, youd be shocked.

Well logically yes if you ware worried about street violence it makes sense to protect the most vulnerable

look at the data

Its 5 mins away from where he leaves her. 5 mins. And Yes it is dangerous for a woman to walk alone in the dark. Telling you as you dont seem to know.

If he walked you home through the cut throughs then he'd have to walk back through them by himself.. is his safety less important?

Hope you are ready when he is attacked after walking you home because that’s still way more likely than you being attacked even if you are more afraid

Exactly. It's a stupid phrase anyway because women arent attacked or raped or murdered by "all men" are they? it only takes one bad man, of which there are multiple examples to choose from, sadly.

Dump this jerk. It's deeply off putting that he doesnt seem remotely bothered by your welfare or safety.

There is nothing to can think of that would ever make me walk alone anywhere late at night, let alone through quiet cut throughs. It’s different nowadays because I drive everywhere if I’m out at night, but If there was no alternative, then I would get a cab. When I was younger and dating boyfriends, I absolutely expected them to make sure I got home safely.

Does he not even offer? I’d find that very unattractive. I do a tough job and am fit and strong for my size but realistically I’d be no match for the average man if he was determined to get something from me and anyone who thinks otherwise hasn’t physically fought many men.

Walking alone at night has never bothered me and I can honestly say I never give it a second thought. I often finish work at midnight and go for a walk when I get home to clear my head if it’s been a busy shift. I’d be more bothered if my partner insisted that he escort me home BUT it bothers you and your partner seems indifferent to your needs.

you’ve been together a long time so it’s doubtful he’s going to change his ways to it’s your decision if it’s a deal breaker or not
why is this only being noticed 3 years in though or id this a long standing discussion?
If you don’t like the walk home could you arrange a taxi home from nights out?

Depends- early dates, I might not be ready to let them know where I live. After 3 years, I'd expect to be staying over either him with me or me at his.

I'm always surprised when people do offer to see me home, though.

He sounds like a really uncaring selfish laxy sh*t tbh. Women are more vulnerable walking alone at night, anyone who says different is lying, all women know this whether they admit it or not. Get rid asap

My husband,sons and SIL would always ensure my safety wherever i am . Women are very vulnerable out alone wherever they are…it’s a fact !

I wouldn't continue seeing a man who was too lazy to see me safely home. 'Not All Men' is a stupid excuse, because it takes only one bad man to ruin or end your life.

My dd, 27, independent, hard working, streetwise young lady is more than capable of getting herself home safely, either by car or uber. However, if she’s out with her bf they stick together and if they are on public transport they either come back here together or go back to his together.

@HippityHoppityHay I suspect your bf won’t turn into a prince, but I’m most perplexed that after three years you go your separate ways after a night out. Perhaps frogs aren’t nice to kiss.

Please raise your bar.

Wow! I thought it was just standard that the guy walks the lady home. Why risk anything happening to you when it’s avoidable.

Even my 17 yo walks his gf home, it’s just common decency.

I wouldn’t be with him OP.

I'm I'd be very surprised if 99% of random male on female attacks are not reported to the police,where are you getting those stats from?

Men are roughly 2–3 times more likely than women to be victims of random attacks by strangers. Women are more likely to be victims of violence from people that they know than men.

No one is disputing that men are more violent in general but men can be and are victims of men too.

I'm not curtailing my freedom on a worry over what might or might not happen. With that attitude I'd never get in a car or cross the road.
(Sorry to hear you were attacked though, I understand why you feel the way you do )

Hmmm, I'm on the fence here.
Whilst I'm agreeing with the posts saying "you're a grown woman, you can make your own way home" (as yes, I am and frequently think nothing of walking places by myself) it's the fact that he doesn't seem to want to walk with you and see you home safely. That's just natural to want to do that, surely. He doesn't sound very caring about you, sorry.
YANBU

Blatant lie. 99% of male attacks on women are never reported to the police, so your "statistics" are bogus.

Men are more likely to be murdered because more men are more involved in violent criminal behaviour. Fact is, men are the violent half of the population. They're not only bigger and stronger but have (on average) 3 times the muscle mass of women.

The OP isn't worried about another woman attacking her for good reason. The odds of that happening are 1) infinitesimal and 2 ) she'd have a decent chance of defending herself.

Wow. Just wow. Can you even contemplate staying with someone who literally does not GAF about any potential threat to your safety? In addition, why doesn’t he actually want to spend the tiny bit of extra time with you at the end of your date? Sheesh. You’re worth more than that. Bin him. He’s a lazy selfish twat.

How caring is he generally?

While I tend to be happy walking myself around most areas, is it a symptom of him being lazy or uncaring?

I had a short-lived boyfriend at uni who was happy to let me walk a mile alone through the red-light district to the bus stop in the city centre.
He had a car.
I thought I was being a strong, independent woman. With hindsight, he was a lazy fucker who didn't care much.

Most of my friends (and DH) would put in the offer if practical.

I think a little bit if personal responsibility is needed here. He isn't 'letting you walk down dark cut throughs' you are choosing to do that. Pick a better route home, stick to brightly lit streets where you can, cut throughs might shorten your journey but it probably isn't the brightest thing to do.