Walking alone at night

I’d dump any man who tried the NAMALT bullshit on me.

You can't just compare the number of attacks. Women rarely walk in the dark late at night alone whereas they are with partners all the time.

I'm most definitely not a troll - what just because I disagree? I'm a gender critical feminist, who refuses to be frightened of the dark, especially as I'm perfectly aware of the actual recorded statistics around stranger-perpetuated violence.

The OP is at far, far more risk from her partner than some imaginary boogeyman in the dark. That's the fucking truth we should be sharing.

It's always a surprise with me that anyone thinks walking alone late at night is a better option than an Uber. An Uber is tracked; you can send links to multiple friends to also track it.

It is controlling and bossy if he specifically requested to go alone.

It isn’t all men….but it’s always a man.

It depends on the area, how many people are about, how well lit etc. If you’re unsafe to walk alone, he probably is too.

He sounds like a tosser.

Sorry. Red flag to me.

Unless you get him to see your pov. And even then..

Quite. Men get attacked outside pubs and the like for looking at someone's girlfriend. They don't get followed by strangers intent on raping them or worse.

I'm always surprised that people think an Uber is a good option for a lone woman (or man come to that).

I'd much rather walk or get the bus.

OP he's not very nice. He should see you home. Find someone else who cares about you.

Even my BF, who is way more anxious than me, and I way out independence him, insists on walks me to the car which is parked a few mins away, AND I have my dog with me.

I mean, I don’t know if it’s a deal breaker per se, only you can decide that, but I’d certainly be looking at his other behaviours… and his rationale stinks. If he cares for you, and knows you would prefer it, why not still just do it. It’s only a few mins, is he really that lazy and selfish?

Greater risk of what? Rape? Tripping over? Greater risk of what, specifically?

Thats not even remotely true.

Its not about 'letting' you do anything.

He has the option of going 5 minutes out of his way to make you more comfortable and safer. He didn't bother to see it and when pointed out to him he didn't want to do it. And quoted misogynistic bollock's about "not all men" - obviously not all men ... but enough men for it to be a problem. What a donut.

I'd throw him back tbh op, he sounds selfish and self centred and like there are some misogynistic under currents there whether he's aware of them or not.

Basically you want a partner to be protective and chivalrous, this one isn't! So if that's what you want, then tell him so. If he comes out with the 'not all men ,,,' shit, then tell him, 'no, not all men, but it only takes one, and it happens all too often which makes me feel unsafe, therefore you either see me safely all the way home, or we say goodbye now, and I'll find someone who cares enough to keep me safe, your choice!'

It may be upsetting to part ways after all this time OP, but men don't generally improve with time, and if he doesn't do this for you now, he's likely to do less and less for you as time goes on, so better part now, than be back here in another few years, mourning the fact that he simply doesn't care about you.

Your personal safety is your responsibility. That being said, he does sound a little bit uninvested.

What utter nonsense. Posted for reaction. So annoying🤨

In addition to the great points above, those crime numbers include gangs, drugs etc are male dominated and included in the male figures. So the reality for James walking home late from work is not the same for James who's a gang member dealing drugs.

Not true! It’s far more nuanced than “men are less safe”

Statistically men are as likely to be a victim of violent crime eg mugging, perhaps more because more women tend to not walk alone as much… leading to my second point, women are FAR more likely to be a victim of sexually motivated crimes than men. It’s a solid fact. You could argue being a victim of a sexually motivated crime or a murder is worse than being mugged?

And thirdly, men statistically feel safer out at night - “seen in June 2021, across all settings after dark, a higher proportion of women reported feeling very or fairly unsafe compared with men (Figure 2).” ONS study

Where has OP said she wants him to insist on walking her home, whether she likes it or not? She wants him to walk her home, and he is refusing. That's very different.

Let's hope so.

He says you ‘guilt trip’ him and lets you walk home alone in the dark through cut throughs. No. Wouldn’t want this lack of care in a partner - he sounds selfish and too ‘boundaried’ for me.

Mini can of deep heat. Same thing with a legit use

I came here to say the same thing. Women take much better care of their own safety, generally, than men do, and thus fall victim to stranger attacks less frequently. BUT...that doesn't mean that they could abandon all those precautions and walk the streets without incident.