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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New neighbours. AIBU?

31 replies

Timetogetgone · 08/03/2026 12:40

I’d really like to see if I’m being unreasonable about how I feel about my new neighbours.

I’ve read through lots of people’s posts and I know my neighbours are no way as bad as most but is what I’m experiencing to be expected or not?

New neighbours moved in in January above me in a maisonette flat. The previous above neighbours were 3 women, who’d I hear going out to work, coming home from work, the washing machine on and sometimes some singing and phone calls. All in all, very quiet neighbours. I would barely hear them walking around.

However, since my new neighbours have moved in, it’s clear our schedules are opposite and they sleep during the day and are up from around 2-3pm sometimes until 4am. This means when I go to bed at 9pm all I can hear until the early hours is them walking around, running (the kids), cupboard doors opening and shutting loudly, conversations, just general pottering but it’s so loud because it’s night time and everyone else is quiet and asleep.

I’ve spoken to them before and explained what I could hear (for instance, they just their 1 year whinging constantly all night which I could hear). I explained I could hear all movements, walking, talking, everything and if they could keep it down after 9pm I’d really appreciate it. I explained I didn’t want them to tiptoe about because of me but also, I get up early for work. The husband was really understanding and it was kind of ok for a week or two, still some noise but last week, they were up until 2am - 4am most nights and I’m starting to absolutely resent them.

I want to speak with them again but is this to be expected from upstairs neighbours? I know I was basically blessed with my previous neighbours but is this just the realistic noise you hear from people? Also, I know we have different schedules so I know they shouldn’t be vilified for that.

Any opinions?

yes you’re being unreasonable, people make noises and you’re on different schedules

no you’re not being unreasonable, even though you have different schedules, they should still be quieter from 9pm onwards.

OP posts:
Friendlygingercat · 08/03/2026 13:12

The lady in my example had a young family above her before me. She had complained of the noise the toddler made by skipping across the floor, jumping and playing. The flat was fully carpeted. One would think that a single person would be a great improvement. She had obviously become sensitised to the least noise.

Fortheloveofpizza · 08/03/2026 13:09

Are their children not at school or nursery? Maybe not the youngest. I’d say their hours are unsociable but not a lot you can do if it’s just generally walking around.
Do they have carpets? My colleague had to put carpets down due to excessive noise .

Friendlygingercat · 08/03/2026 13:07

I had this problem in a housing co-opertive (not the same as a housing society as its run by the co-owners). As a young single who worked shifts I was often up til 1 am and later at weekends. Not partying or playing loud music - just general domestic things - flushing loo, taking a shower, boiling a kettle. My underneath neighbour (who was in her 70s) complained to the chair of the committee. She told him she could not go to sleep or relax until she heard me go into my bedroom. He said sorry but this is just a clash of lifestyles and Friendly has done nothing against the rules. He suggested we discuss it and try to reach some kind of compromise. However he could not intervene.

I told my neighbour that her running the washer or the hoover at 8 am woke me up when I was on a 1-9pm shift. So I suggested she postpone these jobs until after 10 am. In return I would be mindful of the noise after 10 pm. I could not promise to go to bed early. However I would be careful of opening drawers, banging cupboards or running water late at night. The response was that she liked to get her hoovering etc done early so she could go out to the shops. She liked to shop every day. Fair enough. However every time I was woken at 8am she was "punished" that night by my banging about the flat.

Eventually she learned. When she was quiet I was quiet.

Original poster
Timetogetgone · 08/03/2026 13:02

BubbleFree · 08/03/2026 12:43

Some noise should be expected but my biggest concern would be them sleeping all day and not getting up until the afternoon with children - that’s very odd to me. That aside I’d speak to them again if he was understanding the first time.

Thank you. Yeah I completely agree. I don’t understand it but also, some families are different so I’m trying my best not to judge and get wound up.

I’ll speak with the husband again and hopefully it’ll sort itself out.

OP posts:
olympicsrock · 08/03/2026 13:02

I think you are unreasonable to expect quiet from 9pm - that’s pretty early but certainly from 11pm to 7 am consideration around noise is normal .

BubbleFree · 08/03/2026 12:43

Some noise should be expected but my biggest concern would be them sleeping all day and not getting up until the afternoon with children - that’s very odd to me. That aside I’d speak to them again if he was understanding the first time.