International women’s day. Sick day or go in?

Sickorno · 2026-03-08T11:02:19+00:00

I want to start by saying that I don’t have strong feelings towards trans people. I believe if you were born a woman then you will always be a woman and vice versa. I believe in women’s only spaces. But apart from that I’m not really bothered. If you want to wear a dress and grow your hair long then crack on. However I have been struggling the past few days with my workplace. Firstly, it started with asking for donations of women’s clothing and make up for the trans residents. This wound me up but I just said I had nothing to donate. But we were told on Friday that on Monday there will be a celebration of international women’s day where the trans women residents will receive a party and gift packages. The male residents and female staff won’t get the same and therefore won’t be celebrated. I have been wound up all weekend and I genuinely don’t want to go in tomorrow. Am I going mad or does this seem so unfair? My AIBU - should I go sick tomorrow? YABU - no don’t call in sick, go and do your job. YANBU - yes call in sick so you don’t have to deal with it.

Original poster

Sickorno · 08/03/2026 19:49

LeftieRightsHoarder · 08/03/2026 19:39

Your 95% comment doesn’t surprise me. Ministry of Justice statistics show that trans-identifying male prisoners are more likely than other male prisoners to have been convicted of sex offences, usually against women and children.

What stuns me is why anyone wants to celebrate these vile predators, who have ruined the lives of so many women and children. It’s spitting in the face of their victims. And of course it’s pissing on the idea of celebrating real human women. Or targets, as they are in these men’s eyes.

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I am glad there are statistics to back it up.

I am not anti-trans but there is a twisted element of why these particular men do it and I don’t understand why it’s being acknowledged, let alone actually celebrated.

And not only is it part of a twisted mindset but it also makes them untouchable and given special treatment.
If they don’t like something then they play the victim.

I am not saying any crime is good but you have men who have been coerced or threatened into becoming drug runners or money laundering who are decent men underneath and they just need a bit of help. These are having to share cramped cells, shared showers, living on the dangerous wings and treated like criminals.

Whereas the men who commit the most heinous crimes and pretend to be women get given their own cell, not made to share showers, given extra spends, allowed to wear their own clothes on visits and wear clothes/accessories that are usually forbidden and allowed to have extra packages.

They are laughing because they’re being treated like something special, whilst reporting any female staff member who they think aren’t treating them special enough.

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LeftieRightsHoarder · 08/03/2026 19:39

Sickorno · 08/03/2026 11:58

At least 95% of the trans prisoners are in for committing crimes against women and/or children.

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Your 95% comment doesn’t surprise me. Ministry of Justice statistics show that trans-identifying male prisoners are more likely than other male prisoners to have been convicted of sex offences, usually against women and children.

What stuns me is why anyone wants to celebrate these vile predators, who have ruined the lives of so many women and children. It’s spitting in the face of their victims. And of course it’s pissing on the idea of celebrating real human women. Or targets, as they are in these men’s eyes.

ilovesooty · 08/03/2026 18:58

bigboykitty · 08/03/2026 18:06

Honestly, ring in sick and say "women's problems" 😘

Why? She's not sick.

Original poster

Sickorno · 08/03/2026 18:29

Thepeopleversuswork · 08/03/2026 18:12

Er, doesn't the recent Supreme Court ruling give you some protection if you object to this?

I don't have any particular problem with trans allyship and am fairly chilled about the trans issue in general but celebrating IWD in a prison full of men (some of whom have presumably committed crimes against women) but without recognising women does seem egregious.

I would have no idea about the Supreme Court ruling, I’ve never dealt with anything like this.

My colleague was pulled in for basically not giving a trans prisoner special treatment and it resulted in her having to use most of her break time to do this prisoners request.
Baring in mind this prisoner had only decided they were trans literally days beforehand.

There have been multiple reports made because staff haven’t used the correct pronouns (they said he instead of they/them or she/her) and sometimes the paperwork has come from the courts/other prisons and so the pronouns are their old ones and they still complain.

I mentioned that surely all prisons should just stick to he/him for everyone and then there can be no complaints made and I was told to be careful voicing those views.

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Original poster

Sickorno · 08/03/2026 18:24

Thepeopleversuswork · 08/03/2026 18:12

Er, doesn't the recent Supreme Court ruling give you some protection if you object to this?

I don't have any particular problem with trans allyship and am fairly chilled about the trans issue in general but celebrating IWD in a prison full of men (some of whom have presumably committed crimes against women) but without recognising women does seem egregious.

I too am very chilled about the trans issues which is why I felt so conflicted.

If this was a celebration of black history or something then would I be as offended.
I don’t know if it was just more irritating that I’m a woman perhaps.
I guess it’s no different to celebrating black history and then a white person identifying as black, just to get the attention.

I can say with certainty that most, if not all of the trans women in there do not genuinely struggle with gender issues.
They do it to separate themselves from their crime so they don’t take any accountability for it and because it makes them feel special and they get extra attention and special treatment.

We are meant to treat everyone equally in prison, regardless of their crimes and I genuinely think I do this but this is creating a divide and rewarding these men for pretending they’re women.
Its absolute madness.

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Original poster

Sickorno · 08/03/2026 18:18

CruCru · 08/03/2026 18:09

Honestly? Yes, go in and say that you are really busy. Presumably taking a sick day puts pressure on the other prison wardens and makes the prison unsafe for the prisoners.

Is it really not okay to say that celebrating IWD for people who’ve committed crimes against women and children is distasteful?

I hate taking sick days even when I’m genuinely poorly.

And yes it often does affect my other colleagues when someone is off poorly and so I don’t want to cause any additional work or stress if I can help it.

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Thepeopleversuswork · 08/03/2026 18:12

Er, doesn't the recent Supreme Court ruling give you some protection if you object to this?

I don't have any particular problem with trans allyship and am fairly chilled about the trans issue in general but celebrating IWD in a prison full of men (some of whom have presumably committed crimes against women) but without recognising women does seem egregious.

CruCru · 08/03/2026 18:09

Honestly? Yes, go in and say that you are really busy. Presumably taking a sick day puts pressure on the other prison wardens and makes the prison unsafe for the prisoners.

Is it really not okay to say that celebrating IWD for people who’ve committed crimes against women and children is distasteful?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 08/03/2026 18:09

This is outrageous.

Original poster

Sickorno · 08/03/2026 18:07

bigboykitty · 08/03/2026 18:06

Honestly, ring in sick and say "women's problems" 😘

😂😂😂

That made me laugh!! 🤭

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bigboykitty · 08/03/2026 18:06

Honestly, ring in sick and say "women's problems" 😘

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 08/03/2026 17:54

Sickorno · 08/03/2026 11:58

At least 95% of the trans prisoners are in for committing crimes against women and/or children.

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Yeah I wouldn’t be going in for this.

Original poster

Sickorno · 08/03/2026 17:48

Thank you to everyone who has given advice.

The thread was temporarily deleted due to reports but I have spoken to MNHQ and they have kindly allowed it to be reinstated.

The fact that it was reported/deleted is exactly why I am concerned over the issue as I feel saying anything can negatively impact me.

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Original poster

Sickorno · 08/03/2026 12:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

What makes you think that?

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Original poster

Sickorno · 08/03/2026 12:28

Notmeagain24 · 08/03/2026 12:13

Gosh OP that would really irritate me. Virtue signalling in a workplace is totally unnecessary - especially in the environment you work in!!!!

I did vote YABU though - not because I think it's right, but because I think you should go in and just crack on with your job. Engage as little as possible with the activities - your opinion to not be happy with the 'exclusiveness' of this supposed 'inclusion' is perfectly valid and you have the right to work and express that.

Yes it’s the virtue signalling that I can’t stand.
And the fact that they’re getting so risk treatment for pretending to be women whilst the actual women who work there actually have to deal with the hardships of being women.

I hate taking sick days (especially if I need to use them in the future) and so I think I’m going to go in and just pretend I’m really busy.

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Original poster

Sickorno · 08/03/2026 12:25

JudgeJ · 08/03/2026 12:11

If you speak to some of your 'residents' I'm sure you'll find a phone or a camera!

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There will definitely be some lying around haha but then I’d have to report it and if I didn’t then my argument wouldn’t be taken seriously.

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TigTails · 08/03/2026 12:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ilovesooty · 08/03/2026 12:19

JudgeJ · 08/03/2026 12:11

If you speak to some of your 'residents' I'm sure you'll find a phone or a camera!

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In which case she would be disciplined for using it and rightly so.

Either you express your opinion through the appropriate channels or you go in and participate as little as you can.

The OP is not sick.

pouletvous · 08/03/2026 12:17

How many trans prisoners are there?

Im very confused by it all

why the why?

Notmeagain24 · 08/03/2026 12:13

Gosh OP that would really irritate me. Virtue signalling in a workplace is totally unnecessary - especially in the environment you work in!!!!

I did vote YABU though - not because I think it's right, but because I think you should go in and just crack on with your job. Engage as little as possible with the activities - your opinion to not be happy with the 'exclusiveness' of this supposed 'inclusion' is perfectly valid and you have the right to work and express that.

JudgeJ · 08/03/2026 12:11

Sickorno · 08/03/2026 12:06

You can’t have cameras or phones etc in prisons and can’t access the emails on the outside.

Else I’d be very tempted.

I am hoping some of the non trans prisoners speak up but then they’d likely get in trouble for hate speech or won’t be listened to.

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If you speak to some of your 'residents' I'm sure you'll find a phone or a camera!

JudgeJ · 08/03/2026 12:10

LittleBearPad · 08/03/2026 11:40

I’m not sure anyone in a prison needs to be celebrated.

Especially not at my, as a tax payer. expense.

dubbie · 08/03/2026 12:09

GardenGaff · 08/03/2026 11:38

Where do you work that has enough trans women residents to make it a party?

Edit: X post. Ah a prison. No, would I fuck take part in celebrating male prisoners on International Women’s Day. In fact, I’d be going to the press about it.

Edited

THIS. Please go to the press.

Original poster

Sickorno · 08/03/2026 12:06

MaggieBsBoat · 08/03/2026 11:44

Go. Take some redacted (for ID purposes) photos and take to the press. Bloody ridiculous.

You can’t have cameras or phones etc in prisons and can’t access the emails on the outside.

Else I’d be very tempted.

I am hoping some of the non trans prisoners speak up but then they’d likely get in trouble for hate speech or won’t be listened to.

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Original poster

Sickorno · 08/03/2026 12:04

CornishPorsche · 08/03/2026 11:47

Speak to the POA or your union ASAP today. I'd love to know which governor has pronounced this as acceptable.

Also speak to the SEEN team at the Cabinet Office. https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/civil-service-staff-networks/seen-network - there isn't a HMPPS team specifically yet.

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It was in an all staff email and so the governors must all be on board as they had to ask permission for the celebration.

It makes you feel like you can’t say anything else you’ll be seen as being prejudice.

One of my colleagues was pulled in because they apparently weren’t treating a trans person fairly (giving them special treatment) and is now walking on eggshells over it.

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