To feel like a right loser- anyone else?

Right.

But you can start planning for after you pay back your ML. You might feel a greater sense of control that way.

Very sorry you are enduring this.

I earn £17k (25 hrs) and I cannot believe I'm paid to do what I do. I feel rich.

This is a mindset issue, and it's understandable that you have it. You grew up with money and work status being seen as sucess, you are surrounded by twits at work reinforcing that idea, and you are also full of pregnancy hormones, most likely making you more sensitive.

Look at ACT tools to help you change your mindset, if you are open to that.

I hope you have some lovely Sunday plans with your family.

I earn less than £30k, and that’s with a recent pay rise. Would I like more money? Of course! Do I compare myself with others who earn more? Sometimes. But on the whole I am quite content. I’ve prioritised on what’s important in my life and living the lifestyle others lead is not for me. I’m lucky that I manage on my meagre salary and have spare cash to spend on things that I want. It took a lot of self reflection to get here though.

You have to march to the beat of your own drum.

I sneer at people who think they are better than others just because they earn more. It would suggest to me that they have very emotionally empty lives and low self esteem if they feel the need to show everyone their value through wealth. Fucking losers.

Comparison is the thief of joy. I, too, thought that I was doing ok. I have my own tiny house and an income I can live on.

When I see what some people are living on, on here, I realise that I really haven’t done that well at all. Also, when I look at my work contemporaries, their houses and lifestyles are bigger, and more luxurious. So I’ve not done that well in my career.

But I also see on here people who are struggling and my heart goes out to them. Circumstances can change so quickly, too.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I just plough on and take solace in the thought that I know where I will be sleeping tonight and I know that I won’t be short of food. I’m adequately clothed and I have enough for my hobbies. I can just about afford my dental treatment and my medical needs are, thank heaven, taken care of by the wonderful NHS. I’m not in an abusive relationship and I have friends. I can pay my bills, although I hold my breath opening the envelope sometimes.

You are by no means a loser, OP. The real riches are in knowing the value of what you do have. This is such a cliché and it’s repeated so many times, but it really is true.

I really dislike those post...basically boasting about how much they have. Its absurd to have a household income in the hundreds of thousands and not realise how well off you are. They know they are in the top 1% of the UK in terms of salary. Best ignored.

Are you for real op?

They look down on people who send their kids to state school? I think you just need to remind yourself 93% of children go to state school.

I feel like a loser sometimes my job is minimum wage but then I have my kids and my health. There are other people who earn the same or even more than me who have far worse problems than feeling like a loser

@Conundrummum123 I think of it this way…when I go food shopping I’m not counting really, I have a budget yes, but that’s just because I know it can be done for that amount, do I worry if I go over that budget, no I don’t and isn’t that such a privilege!? When I go to do my shopping I feel so so lucky I can feed my family. I watched a woman price a jar of tomato pasta sauce with her son the other day and he picked up the dolmio, she said no way I can’t afford that one, she opted for a carton of passata and I presume she would season. She had coins in her hand.

I earn £36k, single. I have two children and have a safe / warm / clean home. We enjoy nice holidays, the kids go to state schools and have done extremely well. I feel they are polite and well rounded individuals.

Would I want to be keeping up with the joneses and constantly comparing myself to people better off, no not really. Are they happier because they have more money? I don't know. I'm happy, I love a simple content life that I can afford for me. Do I get what I want when I want it, no not always.

I feel you need to stop comparing yourself to others lifestyles, what do you want from your life? Can you afford the lifestyle you have, is your family happy and content with the life you have? If you do want more, what would it be? Not to compete with others but what would you actually like for you and your family? I think peer pressure is just that, pressure.

If these people are really sneering they are absolute twats, OP. I could not respect them, and neither could the people I daresay they admire.

Is there any chance you could change jobs?

Failing that, please find some tools to bolster your self worth. Letting these twats take up space in your head is just not worth it.

Nope. And I earn a lot less than you.

But I come from real poverty. So despite my lower income, I feel that I've done well. Yes, there are others around me with more. But I've earned mine, all on my own. No family money/support.

I think the trick is to focus on what you CAN afford, not what you can't, and be grateful for it. We have so many luxuries in our lives that it's easy to take for granted!

Years ago, I worked for a very wealthy man. He'd come into the office at lunchtime with a Picasso original sketch or an antique Persian silk rug that he'd just bought on a whim. I was struggling to make ends meet and found it bizarre that he never considered himself well off. But that's because he was friends with people like Nesuhi Ertegun.

Mumsnet exposes us to some rather snooty and privileged people at times, it's important not to make comparisons. Knowing that we have enough is fundamental to happiness and often seems to be lacking among some posters who sneer at lower-income groups.

Well we earn similar and I feel extremely comfortable and fortunate. You don’t say what savings/investments you have(if any)?
now we do only have 2dc and they are 10 and 13 so no childcare costs. I budget everything and we save 2.5k minimum per month. I know we are doing well. I don’t need anyone to tell me I’m not well off etc, it’s how I feel, I know compared to a lot of people we are well off.

No because I've had actual problems in life. Aslong as my family are healthy, happy and the bills are paid with enough left over im happy . You earn significantly more then we do and I'm not jealous of you, you actually seem really unhappy. One day in your life something terrible will happen and you will learn how little money and stuff matters

Use this every time you feel like that. https://www.ons.gov.uk/visualisations/dvc1802/calculator/index.html

I earn less than you and I'm a decade older. Different sector and sometimes I feel like a loser especially when I read stuff on Mumsnet that suggests most people are better off but most of the time I try to feel grateful and it works. You and I are better off than most people in the UK and in the world. Your colleagues sound like dicks living in a bubble and with those values they won't live a full life either.

@Conundrummum123 Doesn't matter how much they earn and how much they sneer we will all die one day.
They can't change that even with their millions.
Each day wasted by worry is wasted. Money can't buy time.
Count your blessings and be grateful for what you have.

I have a similar salary to you, but without the addition of a second wage. I do work with a lot of high earners, but I can honestly say - touch wood - I haven't experienced the sort of sneering you describe.

Sometimes casual comments of theirs highlight the discrepancy - a lot of them have loads of air miles, for instance, and routinely fly business class to far flung places - whereas my idea of a holiday is a week in a caravan. They have new cars, ours is a tiny 10 year old one.

But if I had that kind of money, I wouldn't spend it on the same sort of things; if I won the lottery I don't think I'd replace the car until it broke, and I might have more frequent holidays but I like caravanning so I wouldn't change that. We don't have children and the mortgage is all but paid off, so I don't feel poor or struggle for money.