To feel like a right loser- anyone else?

So very true

Private school won't compensate for having judgemental twats for parents.

You must be new to MN

We’re similar ages and similar income to you. We feel fortunate that we have a good income, can afford to give our DCs a good quality of life with experiences and holidays, and can afford to save for their futures and our retirement. We couldn’t afford the standard of life we want for them if we had a third child though, so we made the decision to stick at 2 DCs. You’ve decided to have a 3rd, which is a perfectly fine decision but obviously that comes with the consequences of having to pay for 3 DCs and your income won’t stretch as far.

I'm 55, earn £30k working part time in DH's business. Never had an urge to climb the career ladder, I just work to pay the bills. With higher salaries comes higher stress and commitment.

I'm however extremely proud to have raised 3 wonderful DC, who are all happy grounded and confident adults with settled lives and busy making their own way in the world. I'm loving being a grandmother too, it's such a gift to have little ones in the family again. We've got a lovely home, 2 amazing dogs and I feel incredibly blessed. My family is my all.

well what did you say ? Did you speak up.and challenge the narrative ? these type of people are to be pitied really. Imagine thinking that people are only worth as much as they own or can afford to buy. They must be v miserable vacuous peole who will be constantly comparing what they have with others and panicking incase they fall short. Nothing to envy in that at all.

My dad was on the exco of an energy company and I went to private school, my mum was a childminder. We went to Walt Disney world at least once a year, sometimes twice, cruises, etc.

So you grew up rich. However, you sound like a kind, considerate person who wouldn’t think less of those in a lower earning bracket than yourself - or those with a more modest lifestyle? I think if you wouldn’t think any less of other people in those circumstances, you should also be kind to yourself and not feel like a loser, or guilty, for not taking your kids to Florida twice a year.

If they are clothed, fed, loved and taught to work hard in life, that is already a huge success for you as parents. I don’t think there is nothing wrong or unworthy about your life. Your colleagues sound awful!

PS FWIW, some of the wealthiest people I know don't flaunt their wealth. They drive older cars, they don't wear designer clothes, they don't go out all the time etc.

My income is around a fifth of yours. I rent. I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, and all my physical needs met. I have 4 wonderful adult children and a ridiculous cat. I'm rich beyond belief.

Count your blessings. They're not monetary.

I'm 45 and on £40k a year, working FT as a nurse. I'm a single parent with two DC. I've got family/friends who earn a huge amount more than me. I also know plenty who earn less.

I look at the important stuff: me/my DC are healthy, happy and safe. I'm very lucky in that I have the ability to go out and work, I've had an education/training and can carry out the activities of daily living without need of help. Sure we don't have expensive holidays or designer goods. Our house is rented and not very big at all....but I can afford to keep us going on my salary: we have a secure roof over our heads, food in the cupboards and can afford to keep the house warm. Me/my DC enjoy a huge privilege that many don't have. We go away camping for our holidays. I save up for bigger purchases but we muddle along quite nicely living frugally.

My salary/earning potential is down to my career choice...but - on the whole - I am very happy in my job. Of course, we all want to earn more in our jobs (who doesn't?!), but I'm very lucky. OP, you have the important stuff covered. That's a huge win!! The rest is just fripperies and the "would be nice to have" stuff. Sod what others say - the ones who look down on others. My parents always said that you don't judge a person by the money they earn, the car/house they live in or the job they do.

Well first of all, I find the views of the people you work with utterly repulsive. I'm not sure I'd even be able to work with people that. To me, those people are the losers and I certainly wouldn't give a shit if they didn't respect me and the way I lived my life.

I have also had a very different response to you when I've read the threads from people who are on 6 figure salaries and still complaining about their lot. Far from feeling like a loser for being on much less than them, I feel like I'm the one winning and they're the ones who are missing something fundamental about life. If you're not happy on £150k, you won't be happy on £250k or £350k. If you are the type of person who is always comparing yourself to others rather than appreciating what you have you will never, ever be happy because there will always be someone with more than you.

What is with all these threads at the moment? For what it's worth, we have a similar household income (slightly less). Two DC. I feel like we're incredibly fortunate. No we can't afford to privately educate our kids, but we put good food on the table and put the heating on whenever we please. Our kids are loved and have everything they need. They, and we, have great experiences. We are happy and healthy (mostly!). I feel rich beyond anything I expected from my youth - even if the COL crisis continues to eat into any gains we make financially.

You don’t work with nice, empathetic people. That’s the problem.

People who are comfortable with their wealth stop comparing themselves and others and are much more sensitive to those with less.

You don’t work with people like that. Which says much more about them than you. You can come across them at any salary level.

Try to ignore, easier said than done, I realise.

No, because my self worth isn't tied up in how much money I make or how senior my job is.

I earn less than you OP, enough to live comfortably with a holiday once a year, but not so much that DD going off to uni this year isn't going to mean we have to budget quite a bit more.

I've made 5 times what I'm making now (and hated the job so that didn't last long) and been absolutely on the bones of my arse as well.

None of those things changed how I felt about myself, because who I am isn't my financial circumstances.

Whether I'm loaded or skint, I'm still the same person, and that person isn't a loser.

Don’t feel bad. The majority of us live month to month with horrible DC and even worse DFs and DMs, wicked Dsis and no access to WLIs while we face a horrific commute to a rotten dead end job where we can’t WFH while everybody else can.

what makes it tolerable is, I’m thin and pretty with nice skin and a gorgeous DGS who screams with delight when I sing to him.

I had fuck all money when my kids were young.
surely that’s normal as children are so so expensive?

and many state schools are as good or better than some private schools especially at primary level. Why pay when you can get a great education for free?

Some private schools are not very good!
Some state schools are excellent.
This attitude reveals a lack of discernment.

I sometimes wonder with these threads though, if the wealthier people the OP is talking about actually sneer at people who earn less, or if it's the perception of those who feel stressed about earning enough. I can imagine people being a bit tone deaf, but sneering?

I have a secret pity for people (your colleagues in this case) who think the only way to have a good time is to spend a lot of money, it shows a complete lack of imagination. In the past few years we've spent anything from under £100 camping near Skegness to a £15k safari and beach holiday. The money we've spent is never indicative of how good a time we've had. It's about putting the effort in and finding the fun regardless of where you find yourself. There's only so happy and fulfilled you can be and you can reach that just as much playing in the arcade and eating a bag of chips on the beach in Southwold and you can snorkeling in the Maldives so long as the right people are with you.

I am self employed and similar to you. These sorts of posts about how much they earn, range rovers etc just make me sick. It's stealth bragging and I usually skip by them. This one stood out because of the misleading title and a lot of people are losers who get paid 'earn' that much because they are always comparing themselves and never satisfied.

No I am not jealous, either before someone comes out with that old chestnut.