To feel like a right loser- anyone else?

I dont get your feelings at all op you have a damn good income coming in and soon to be mom to three lovely children all things I would love. If you was me then definitely youd have reason for feeling like a loser ive never earned more than 17k which is probably down to a mix of lack of confidence , autism adhd im not sure tbh. I dont think im too bright actually also only one child couldn't conceive 2nd time.

If you're worried about how rich you are or aren't though, and dissatisfied with how your lifestyle compares to others, you're probably not the type of person who would intentionally have a child you can't afford. A third child is a luxury I think, as bizarre as that sounds!

Depends how you define success.
Trump looks extremely unhappy, like a man who has signed a Faustian pact. All the golden toilets in the world won’t make up for the fear he lives in and won’t help his failing health.

I don’t think anyone could describe Donald trump as a loser, a twat maybe or any other choice word, but he’s arguably one of the most successful men in the world.

Some of the biggest losers earn a fortune. Donald, anyone?

Keep things in perspective.

Lack of fulfilment and satisfaction in life often comes from not feeling as though you’ve had choice and agency in how your life has turned out. Whereas you post quite coherently about financial and career decisions, and regardless of what you say about feeling financially inadequate, you’ve very recently decided that you feel well off enough to be able to have a third child. So you don’t lack choice or agency, and you’ve actively taken a route which is going to see you financially poorer. There has to come a point at which you acknowledge you have a very good living in comparison to vast swathes of the population, but that if you don’t feel as though you do, that was because of your choices.

It's crazy that you'd let the obnoxious senior colleagues get to you like this, why would you care what they think of other people's lifestyles? Would you want to be like them? They are extremely bad mannered. Better that kids go to a state school than end up in a class with the offspring of such nasty people. Maybe you should look for another job? You must know that you are well off compared to 90% of people, you would not be having a third child otherwise.

Average salary in the UK is 37k FT. The only thing that's U here is saying you're "middle earners". You're high earners.

My oh and I earn about £50k between us, share a 13 year old car, we rent privately and our children share a bedroom.

I often feel like a loser and a complete let down to my kids to be honest, even though we work hard and are trying to strive for better. I just try to remind myself that we are safe, warm and fed. The kids don’t go without and we can afford a few small luxuries and treats, just nothing overly extravagant.

You need some perspective op, you have a six figure income, you are doing more than fine. Ignore the snobs at work who turn their noses up at state schools and caravan holidays, that attitude says more about them than anything else.

I worked with a woman years ago who socialised with a much richer group due to her husband’s job. She was never happy despite having a 4 bed new build house (no kids), a luxury car & nice holidays. She came from a very poor working class background & they had done really well for themselves. But it was never enough. She ended up embezzling nearly £100k from our employer and went to prison. This was 25 years ago. I often wonder how her life turned out.

Oh gives us a break

Get a grip. You are delusional.

Can you change jobs? You might encounter the same types of people elsewhere. I know of someone who has a very good life, but can’t have more kids and would rather have that. So you are wealthier in other ways.

These are just people you work with, why are you so riled up about these people who have no relevance to you? Also, they’re probably much older than you to be in the senior positions so have worked up to that salary.
but yet at mid 30 you want all that, while having multiple kids and at a good household income in any case. You can’t have it all but you want to.

But then you’re having a 3rd child and complaining about your life? That’s a choice you’re making, so I’m not sure where you think you are hard done by because it’s still all your choices you have control over.
for every person, there is someone that has more. If you keep comparing then you’re losing. You are in a great position compared to millions. You’ve lost sight of it

There is a common and pervasive view that most people have of our society, that children "should" be better off, or at least as well-off, as their parents. As if it is a law of nature that each generation should be "progressing".

This view is mistaken.
As a society and civilisation, we are passed the peak of our collective wealth. From here on, in most families the children will not be better off than their parents. Some will buck the trend, but on the whole our grandchildren will be noticeably poorer than us.
You can see it with your own eyes if you look at todays twenty-somethings and compare their situation to how it was for you or your parents.

@Conundrummum123 This is not a personal failing on your part.
Stop measuring your worth as a person by your wealth.

Are you kind? Caring? Helpful? Cheerful? Nice to be around?
Those are things to be concerned about.
If you answered yes to any of those questions, you are already worth a million times more than those dickheads you work with.

Yep. I think most are fake, but if not, it’s tiny violin time. 🎻🎻🎻🎻🎻🎻🙄

But because of your experience of being made to feel this way, hopefully you will make sure your own children don’t grow up feeling inadequate, like they haven’t provided value for money in some way, and hopefully when they are adults and parents themselves they won’t feel like guilty shit providers when they are anything but. Honestly, it sounds to me like ‘for all the money spent on your education’ there was nevertheless something crucial that should have been given but wasn’t.