Page 4 | Am I right to be suspicious of my male flatmate wishing me a happy International Women’s Day?

YourUmberNewt · 2026-03-08T10:08:50+00:00

My male flatmate wished me a happy International Women’s Day. I reacted with suspicion as to why he even knows that this exists, and that he might have ulterior motives for wanting to practice being “sensitive and thoughtful” to women. He thinks it is a good thing and that he’s “progressive”. AIBU?

Original poster

YourUmberNewt · 08/03/2026 11:17

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 08/03/2026 11:12

This is a windup thread, people.

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Mostly yes (and I was originally winding up my flatmate)

the Polish guys buying all their female colleagues flowers and chocolates are all 100% cheating on their wives though.

OP posts:

Inmyuggs · 08/03/2026 11:15

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JacknDiane · 08/03/2026 11:13

Oh ffs op

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 08/03/2026 11:12

YourUmberNewt · 08/03/2026 10:25

I see your points. This is a bit of a tongue-in-cheek post, I reacted with joking suspicion and told him “oh yeah I bet you say that to all your younger female colleagues, I bet they think you’re so sensitive and thoughtful”. He pointed out he has only ever shagged one much younger female colleague and that was “a completely two way thing”

This is a windup thread, people.

Inmyuggs · 08/03/2026 11:12

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

DormantVolcano · 08/03/2026 11:10

Femalemachinest · 08/03/2026 10:59

Erm... I can say I also worked with some dicks 😂

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One van be a dick but he better has that carnations ready🙈

Passingthrough123 · 08/03/2026 11:09

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 08/03/2026 11:07

Exactly.
My beer drinking, football season ticket holder husband is the least misogynistic person I know. And he wished me a happy international women’s day this morning.

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Mine did too! He's also dad to a feisty, feminist teenage girl.

It's such lazy stereotyping.

Bristolandlazy · 08/03/2026 11:09

I hope I don't bump into you and wish you a happy day, birthday, life etc, wow my mind is blown by this post. Please warn him that you're super suspicious minded and he shouldn't be pleasant to you. What the hell

AntiqueBabyLoanSmurf · 08/03/2026 11:07

CocoaTea · 08/03/2026 10:46

What makes you think people don't know about the day? Why do you assume that? The myopia here is unreal.

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That was my response to OP's absurd suspicion as to why a man could possibly know about IWD!

I most certainly don't share that way of thinking myself!

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 08/03/2026 11:07

Passingthrough123 · 08/03/2026 10:53

Why are football fans who drink beer automatically misogynistic?

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Exactly.
My beer drinking, football season ticket holder husband is the least misogynistic person I know. And he wished me a happy international women’s day this morning.

Original poster

YourUmberNewt · 08/03/2026 11:05

Femalemachinest · 08/03/2026 10:51

I used to work in a factory with a lot of Eastern Europeans. Im English, never heard of it at that point but its a big thing there. One guy brought flowers in for every woman on our assembly line. When I got promoted our Polish manger bought the senior women chocolate.

Im not sure why you would be suspicious.

I do side-eye men who “love women” for being women specifically (as opposed to treating each human as a human and on our merits). It reminds me of a guy I knew who was constantly cheating on his girlfriend, with the justification “I just love women. You’re so wonderful, the world would be a terrible place without you all”

OP posts:

Brefugee · 08/03/2026 11:04

it has always been bigger in countries where there has been a revolution i think because women's contribution to society is generally more acknowledged. (partly, of course, because they need all hands on deck)

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 08/03/2026 11:04

CocoaTea · 08/03/2026 10:46

What makes you think people don't know about the day? Why do you assume that? The myopia here is unreal.

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I think you’ve misunderstood what that poster is trying to say.

PurpleNightingale · 08/03/2026 11:02

I was working at a school in China during March and International Womens Day and the male headtacher took the female staff out for a fancy several course meal, including me, which he paid for.

I was surprised but it's clearly a bigger thing in other countries than it is here. I don't understand why this would upset you?

CharlieEffie · 08/03/2026 11:00

Guys really cant win can they 😂

Femalemachinest · 08/03/2026 10:59

Westfacing · 08/03/2026 10:55

Seems Polish guys are the way to go!

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Erm... I can say I also worked with some dicks 😂

Brefugee · 08/03/2026 10:56

For me, the wider point is side-eyeing men who make a big show of being “progressive” and “empathising with women” - they are often more secretly misogynistic than men drinking 10 pints with the lads at football (but some having integrity around women)

IWD is a good reminder of how awful the world can be for so many women. Misogynists* should take note

*including OP

Westfacing · 08/03/2026 10:55

Femalemachinest · 08/03/2026 10:51

I used to work in a factory with a lot of Eastern Europeans. Im English, never heard of it at that point but its a big thing there. One guy brought flowers in for every woman on our assembly line. When I got promoted our Polish manger bought the senior women chocolate.

Im not sure why you would be suspicious.

Seems Polish guys are the way to go!

SummerFate · 08/03/2026 10:54

I honestly wonder how some people get through the day.

ERthree · 08/03/2026 10:54

Your flatmate deserves a better flatmate.

Rizzz · 08/03/2026 10:54

Passingthrough123 · 08/03/2026 10:53

Why are football fans who drink beer automatically misogynistic?

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Because the OP is being sexist.

EwwPeople · 08/03/2026 10:54

YourUmberNewt · 08/03/2026 10:46

Greatly amused by the responses.

i don’t think my flatmate is misogynistic, i was just winding him up really. He’s quite sweet.

For me, the wider point is side-eyeing men who make a big show of being “progressive” and “empathising with women” - they are often more secretly misogynistic than men drinking 10 pints with the lads at football (but some having integrity around women)

In some countries it’s a big thing and also the equivalent of Mothers Day here in the UK. If he interacted closely with people from those countries, it would be enough to know. Plus, it’s actually in the media (mainstream and social) here as well. You’d have to deliberately be avoiding it /ignore it to not know.

Rizzz · 08/03/2026 10:54

SerendipityJane · 08/03/2026 10:48

Have you told HR ?

Harry Redknapp?

Passingthrough123 · 08/03/2026 10:53

YourUmberNewt · 08/03/2026 10:46

Greatly amused by the responses.

i don’t think my flatmate is misogynistic, i was just winding him up really. He’s quite sweet.

For me, the wider point is side-eyeing men who make a big show of being “progressive” and “empathising with women” - they are often more secretly misogynistic than men drinking 10 pints with the lads at football (but some having integrity around women)

Why are football fans who drink beer automatically misogynistic?

CocoaTea · 08/03/2026 10:53

YourUmberNewt · 08/03/2026 10:46

Greatly amused by the responses.

i don’t think my flatmate is misogynistic, i was just winding him up really. He’s quite sweet.

For me, the wider point is side-eyeing men who make a big show of being “progressive” and “empathising with women” - they are often more secretly misogynistic than men drinking 10 pints with the lads at football (but some having integrity around women)

Sorry but I think you were actually quite horrible to your flatmate and it’s not cute at all.

You sound very strange.

Your thought process of being suspicious of a man who has done nothing bad to you and in fact who you yourself describe as “sweet” and then mocking him for a nice gesture and “marking it” as being fake (with no basis) says a lot about you - and it’s not good.

Has he indicated in any way that he has a “lack of integrity around women”? If not then today it is you who has been TA.

Weird behaviour.

Do you fancy him or something?