Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I right to be suspicious of my male flatmate wishing me a happy International Women’s Day?

167 replies

YourUmberNewt · 08/03/2026 10:08

My male flatmate wished me a happy International Women’s Day. I reacted with suspicion as to why he even knows that this exists, and that he might have ulterior motives for wanting to practice being “sensitive and thoughtful” to women. He thinks it is a good thing and that he’s “progressive”. AIBU?

OP posts:
ToadRage · 08/03/2026 13:50

Is he foreign? I know some European countries and Russia especially make a big deal ot of women's day. My husband told me that his Russian ex told him off for not getting her a present for women's day as that is apparently the done thing in Russia. My husband didn't know about it. Alternatively he may have seen something about it online. That's the only reason i know about it.

Daisyblue2 · 08/03/2026 13:48

This has to be the most ridiculous post ive seen in while.

CautiousLurker2 · 08/03/2026 13:33

Westfacing · 08/03/2026 10:14

Poor guy, under suspicion for being thoughtful!

Agreed. Some men can’t do right for doing wrong, can they?

JHound · 08/03/2026 13:22

Have a day off OP.

hypnovic · 08/03/2026 13:20

Why on earth would that make you suspicious? My sons know its inwd as its all over social media the radio ect, their nan worked in DV support they are very proud of her and always make a post to reflect this...is that concerning too?

BettyBoh · 08/03/2026 13:10

Make serious post then claim the intent was tongue and cheek. Attention seeking much?

Ponoka7 · 08/03/2026 13:06

I (female) knew that it was IWD because all of the online games that I play have themed events, decorations etc. I never knew that it was a big deal. I'm now off the read about the socialist worker roots.

HoppityBun · 08/03/2026 12:58

Manymoresometimes · 08/03/2026 12:57

Fuck me, whether you were joking on not, do we really need another thread that riles up the man haters!!

Edited

Except that 98% of people have voted that she’s being unreasonable. So the man haters are noticeably absent from here.

Manymoresometimes · 08/03/2026 12:57

Fuck me, whether you were joking on not, do we really need another thread that riles up the man haters!!

365RubyRed · 08/03/2026 12:55

It's a huge occasion in Vietnam where women everywhere are treated with reverence and given flowers, it's lovely.

Shame to be so cold-hearted and suspicious.

HoppityBun · 08/03/2026 12:50

Well, I suppose if you’re not actually an international woman, then his good wishes might be misplaced?

Otherwise, you’re being ungrateful. At least he noticed.

Sassylovesbooks · 08/03/2026 12:49

It's all over SM and if his employer is like my husband's, then he's probably received company wide emails regarding it from HR!!

It's not a secret, so therefore why wouldn't he know about it?? Personally, I wouldn't wish someone a Happy International Women's Day, and I'm female, but each to their own.

TheCurious0range · 08/03/2026 12:49

Dh has been out today and bought cake etc for the IWD event and speaker they are having at work tomorrow, he's in a leadership position so wouldn't expect one of his team to do it and whilst the other manager is a woman it doesn't make it her responsibility to do the shopping!

RightOnTheEdge · 08/03/2026 12:48

TheDaysAreGettingLongerAtLast · 08/03/2026 12:17

It's not a hang-up - there are clear differences between men and women even if some people pretend to ignore them.

Show quote history

So because there's differences that means you can't share a house or flat?

I've houseshared with plenty of men and women when I was younger. I honestly don't know what the differences are that you are referring to. Some people you get on with and some you don't, male or female.

The only problems I've had sharing with men were the ones I was in a relationship with.

ColourThief · 08/03/2026 12:46

YourUmberNewt · 08/03/2026 10:08

My male flatmate wished me a happy International Women’s Day. I reacted with suspicion as to why he even knows that this exists, and that he might have ulterior motives for wanting to practice being “sensitive and thoughtful” to women. He thinks it is a good thing and that he’s “progressive”. AIBU?

Do you always look this deeply for problems where there are none?

MaRhodes · 08/03/2026 12:44

What are you on?

FeistyFrankie · 08/03/2026 12:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Rizzz · 08/03/2026 12:27

JudgeJ · 08/03/2026 12:18

Harry Ramsden, as you seem to have a huge chip on your shoulder! Battering men all the time isn't a good look.

Show quote history

Eh?

Can you point out where I've done that?

Or are you confusing me with the OP?

BunnyLake · 08/03/2026 12:22

TheDaysAreGettingLongerAtLast · 08/03/2026 12:13

Why do you have a male flatmate?
I wouldn't dream of sharing a flat with a member of the opposite sex unless I was in a relationship with him.

Show quote history

You never watched Man About The House?

JudgeJ · 08/03/2026 12:18

Rizzz · 08/03/2026 10:54

Harry Redknapp?

Show quote history

Harry Ramsden, as you seem to have a huge chip on your shoulder! Battering men all the time isn't a good look.

LadyVioletBridgerton · 08/03/2026 12:17

How silly. I’ve seen loads of adverts for IWD so clearly he has too. Are you just one of those annoying people who loves to be offended at everything?

TheDaysAreGettingLongerAtLast · 08/03/2026 12:17

Unfenced · 08/03/2026 12:15

Respectfully, that is your hang-up. Other people have entirely unproblematic house shares with opposite sex people.

Show quote history

It's not a hang-up - there are clear differences between men and women even if some people pretend to ignore them.

Ophy83 · 08/03/2026 12:16

DH was aware because it was mentioned on radio 2 this morning and said happy IWD when he brought me a coffee in bed (which he does every morning, it wasn't a special celebratory coffee!). I actually thought it was a few days ago because there was a IWD afternoon tea at work on Thursday afternoon.

Unfenced · 08/03/2026 12:15

TheDaysAreGettingLongerAtLast · 08/03/2026 12:13

Why do you have a male flatmate?
I wouldn't dream of sharing a flat with a member of the opposite sex unless I was in a relationship with him.

Show quote history

Respectfully, that is your hang-up. Other people have entirely unproblematic house shares with opposite sex people.

JudgeJ · 08/03/2026 12:15

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 08/03/2026 10:14

What, precisely, is wrong with you?

It's the usual MN problem with men, they can't do right for doing wrong! Husbands, partners etc who don't mention it will doubtless get both barrels!

Swipe left for the next trending thread