To ask reception parents how may parties they’ve been to?

Ds1 was in a class of 15 and he went to one party in reception. My younger ones were in bigger classes (25-30) and they went to about 2 or 3 each. Not many people near us do whole class parties, including us. Probably because they are so expensive.

When my youngest was in Reception she didn't get an invite to any birthday parties.

We went to about 7 in the first year. That was fine. Not all parents held parties and DS was a fairly quiet kid who didn’t mingle much at first.

My friend has 2 kids at uni and a 6 year old. Said there are far fewer parties these days.

DD was invited to more than DS, she was invited to like 10? Class of 22. DS is quieter and his class is mostly girls, he’s been to 5 so far. He doesn’t seem bothered by it at all, while DD did sometimes get a bit upset if she wasn’t invited. DD very much wants to be everyone’s mate and DS is happy doing his own thing. Our school seems to do a lot of whole class parties (something I will not be doing).

6 from about 25-30 kids (including my sons and one we couldn’t go to). I know there have been others that he hasn’t been invited to which is fine and we didn’t invite everyone to my sons as he wanted it at a soft play and it was financially achievable to invite the whole class.

When my child was in nursery there were around 10 party invitations. In reception - zero. And year 1 has been the same so far. I’ve seen kids with invites but never one for my kid since nursery.

My children classes averaged have 27? Usually 5/6 parties a year. Class parties aren’t a thing in Ireland , you invite friends or your mother school mum friends children.
We always invited 10/12 from school, not the one classroom, the children mix up classrooms every few years here so the children meet more friends over the years. 10/12 was more than average.

My son is 7 and has never been invited to any parties from school.

When DD was in reception, there was a trend at the start to invite all 60 kids in the year at the start, and then that petered down to only their class or friends. We probably went to about 25 parties.

In y1, only those very early in the school year who didn't have a reception party (e.g. v early Sept) have had bigger parties. The rest have been 10-15 kids. We have been to about 6 so far (DD v social) and have another 3 on the calendar.

Class of 28. About ten maybe a bit more.

Same here!

You’re completely over thinking this! It’s not mean. It’s ridiculous paying for a party ‘just because’ Especially if you can’t really afford it. If it bothers you just invite 3 boys and be done with it.

My daughter’s friends are almost all born between March and July. In reception she didn’t receive a single invitation until January, then spring and summer term probably 12 parties! This has continued in y1/2 as well except she now has one friend who is October. I don’t know if the year group as a whole is skewed towards later in the year or if she just happens to only be friends with kids born in those 4 months randomly!

In the January of reception year I was starting to wonder if she had no friends I have to say.

15 kids makes a massive difference compared to 30, obviously, most kids are in classes closer to 30. He’s been invited to 3 parties, if it was 30 kids in the class it would likely be 6 which would be quite reasonable in 6 months…

I think we did 9 or 10 in DDs reception year, and by next weekend we’ll be on 6 for this year (yr 2) so it hasn’t slowed down for us too much. In her school there were 2 classes of 30 in reception who spent a lot of time all together and then in year 1 they all got mixed up so quite a few of the parties DD has been to recently are people she was in a class with in reception but not now. A lot of her friends have their birthdays January-March, and in reception and year 1 we averaged a party every other weekend in that time, but maybe only 1 in autumn term and 1 in summer term.

Class of 30 and about 12 parties so far with probably another 10 to go. It is definitely usually a whole class party if you have one here.
I quite like it as I've got to know the other parents really well!

With both of mine, one ‘September’ child had a party and invited the whole class, and nearly all the parents stayed. This sort of set the expectation - so all the other families did something similar.

Reception age DC has been to 4 and missed 2. One she attended was all the girls rather than whole class (30 in the class). Thier teacher did say that the majority were summer born though so maybe more to come!

Other DC is in year 1 so that’s where it becomes quite full on as still a few all class parties he’s also been to two smaller ones (probably about 10/12 invites). We’ve had weekends with two parties but I’m with pp I don’t mind them and tbh the parties in reception are the main way I met parents and working FT I don’t regularly drop off and pick up.

This is very true of our experience. We live in London and my DS2 is in reception. Class of 30 and he's going to his first party of the year today and he has his own one next week. Most children are from EAL families, and so celebrate differently.

Although we do have a good RSVP rate for his party, parents seem nervous about the cultural expectations and "getting it right" and almost all the responders have asked me "exactly what to get him" as gift which has been bit of extra mental load!

Like the OP, I really like children's parties and they were a special part of my own childhood. I'm pretty confident throwing together a buffet and there's a load of cheap council halls where we live so it seems quite reasonable.

DS1 is at the same school in Yr3 and hasn't been invited to any parties this year (but will be having one).

In contrast, my sister has two children in a small village primary school and her children are at parties every weekend. In December they had a Saturday when they had 3 in one day back to back!

My son has been to 3. Class of 30 (two form entry so 60 in total) one of the invites was from a boy in the other class that they play with outside.

I did think it would be more - it was more invites each year from nursery

Reeks of desperation

It depends on a number of factors. Budget, and the fact that it's been the 'cold and wet' half of the year being the main ones. Many people, particularly in cities, live in homes that are just too small to host a kids party - Summer birthdays can have big outdoor party in the park which is quite cheap to run. Children with birthdays in Winter will have parties indoors, but not everyone can afford to hire out a venue and invite the whole class.
DC's class had a huge imbalance between the sexes too (16:6 in reception) and the invitations to small parties do seem to split heavily down boy-girl lines, so that impacted how many invitations some got.
Some kids get no party at all... or just have a birthday tea with granny/cousins etc.

When my daughter was in reception she got 1 party invite the whole year, which felt really odd to me, as all my friends with children at other primary schools in reception got tons! However, from year 1 onwards, once she’d made a solid friendships , she’s had about 6 or 7 party’s a year. She’s in year 6 now.
i think it depends on the school, class, parents etc - the school she goes too isn’t in an affluent area so I think the parents tend to do parties just for closest friends (if at all) , not whole class parties, which is fair enough and we do the same. It seems pointless to pay for a whole class when she’d rather spend her time with her besties x

Our DS is in Reception in a class of 26. So far only 1 child who has turned 5 hasn’t had a party. I expect by the end of the school year we will have had well over 20.

The class is not at all diverse so none of the religious or cultural differences in approach as experienced by others as there are no children from those backgrounds.

It has worked well for us as many of children including my DS didn’t know any other children when they started there and of course the parents didn’t know each other either so it has been good way for everyone to meet up and bond. I imagine yr1 onwards will have smaller parties as friendship groups develop.

Yes this was our logic for DS. Early Oct bday and also didn’t want pressure of having to organise a big party while navigating the start of school life in the first few weeks. Will definitely do one at the start of year 1 when he turns 6.