Enjoying quiet drink & elder man approaches

No one should have to talk to anyone but this men is the enemy thing gets old

And the idea that if a woman doesnt think the same as every other woman thinks the same so they must be man is a very old MN cliche I presume woman are intelligent enough to have their own thoughts?

This bitter and twisted thing women think they are the centre of their own universe and men who come with 100 feet of them because of some conspiracy is odd

This is going to be a shock to you but women ARE the centre of their own universes. Not bit players in some random bloke's universe.

It wasn’t her own son hitting her up for a convo.

It was some random old dude.

And she wasn’t in a charitable frame of mind just then, so she didn’t respond.

Now if it were me, I would’ve screamed ”I HATE MY SON, SO YOU SIR MAY FECK RIGHT OFF!”

lol

Because some of these older men go past 3 reading men before they stop at my bench.

I agree.
I would’ve said “no thank you” again and again and louder until the gentleman stopped talking and left me alone.
It’s always been effective in the past.

But not responding - maybe they think you didn’t hear them or some other nutty excuse.
They need to hear the word, ”NO.”

Only a bloke would say that.

OP ignore the posters who think you should have talked to him. Women have been conditioned to be polite and care about their feelings, when a bloke like this does nothing of the sort.
Im late 50s and still deal with this. I’ve got no time
for it.
And I tell my teen daughter that’s she’s not obligated to appease anyone, and to listen to her instincts or gut feeling.
I’ve had a lifetime of this crap from men. It’s high time it ended.
OP you did nothing wrong.

I find that a sharp "Not today thank you" delivered in my dismissive teacher voice usually does it. If they persist then "Fuck off" is pretty clear.

I once told a prospective pick up "You couldnt keep me in hair pins!

I dont feel the need to be polite to randoms who try to pickl me up.

If only

So true. I am an inveterate loner, i like my own company often, happily have coffee out on my own, eat a meal in a restaurant alone, sit in the sunshine in the park alone, read, drink coffee, even a glass of wine occasionally. I like to think and look at the world quite a lot. I visit new places alone. But I've lost count of the annoying males who just can't leave a woman in peace, asking stupid questions (as if they don't have Google), scruffy beggars homing in on me, charity chuggers. Drives me nuts. WTF is wrong with men? Goddess forbid that a woman can ever relax in peace in public. I wish i had a taser.

Some of the best conversations i have ever had have been random ones when i have been alone with women and shock horror actually with men

This bitter and twisted thing women think they are the centre of their own universe and men who come with 100 feet of them because of some conspiracy is odd

Do women hate their own sons this much?

Yanbu

You don't owe him anything, what a feckin chancer

You were not rude OP. Geez some of these old boys certainly feel entitled to invade the space of a female sometimes. I went out with my husband and friends to a small club to watch some acoustic folk music when some geezer passed in front of me, stopped & pointed his finger at me and demanded that I smile. For the record, I’m 60 ffs, this idiot was about 75. Gave him a very smarmy ‘smile’ just so he’d move on. Bet he’d never demand that from a male.

Was he watching the match?

Just so you know

I'm extremely blunt and do not give a fuck. My usual immediate response to men like this is "No, I'm not interested in talking thanks". Almost invariably they do not take it well. The standard response is to huff off, calling me a string of names as they go.

I'm not going to change the way I respond to these men, but there is no right way to deal with them. They're going to attempt to humiliate you no matter what.

I’m 54 years old and men still feel the need to do this shit. I rarely go out by myself but often end up waiting for people as I am early/killing time, etc… I’m middle aged, overweight and married (but don’t wear my ring because of my work). They see the blonde hair and that is like a bat signal for entitled fuckers. (I feel like it’s the blonde hair because they so often use it to start their conversation.) Some will still sit down despite me putting my hand up and saying “I’m not here for you”, “I’m waiting for someone” or “I want to be alone, thanks.” They’re not necessarily after my less than exceptional body, but clearly want a counsellor or something, and I’m not here for that at all.

If I’m in the pub watching the rugby the one bloke in not watching always tries to chat with me.

Theyd never dream of interrupting another man watching because a man with a drink facing a screen with a sporting fixture on it is obviously there to watch said fixture.

a woman on her own with a drink, facing the screen, is obviously not there for the fixture and therefore should chat an alleviate their boredom until the sport is finished.

Every time.

He asked a few questions and when I didn’t answer he just stood right by me where I was sat down looking and smiling. I felt really awkward and aware that others in the pub were looking now. He then asked my name and I quite directly told him I just want to watch the match

The whole thing could have been solved initially by saying ‘I’m not talking, I want to concentrate on watching the game’, or similar, as opposed to ignoring him and expecting him to understand, as some people are especially dense, or have no concept of social cues, so being blunt makes all clear from the get go. He initiated the drama by either genuinely not understanding the situation, or understanding it but choosing to ignore, and you kept it going by refusing to use your words until it had escalated.

Wow kind of a similar weird thing happened to me just last week. Was going to start a thread

busy pub, I’m having lunch with my dad

by the way I look young, had people tell me I look like a teen. 16-19

this man also like 70 or more walks from other end of pub, comes up to our table and starts saying something to me. But it’s incomprehensible. I am confused. He keeps talking. It’s like ahgshdhhdbd heheh shyeheneneh shhend. Jsjeje ksjsjejs. Just incomprehensible. I try to understand what he is saying but I don’t understand.

my dad asks him what he wants. But he ignores my dad and keeps “talking” to me. My dad again asks him what he wants. He again ignores my dad and keeps “talking” to me. My dad says mate tell me what you want or leave

he then leaves

i felt bad because I thought made the poor guy had dementia or stroke and was confused or needed help

but then he goes back to his table with 3 other men and they understand him well? (And no they are not immigrants, all British/english men) Then I even saw him ordering no problem, talking to waitress and heard him talking normally when i was leaving.

and no he wasn’t drunk

big pub and he comes up to me from other end and starts talking just to me and not my dad?

super weird.

I voted YABU because it sounded to me like you were a new face in the pub, so he was trying to befriend and welcome you.

But you’re not wrong to trust your instincts, better to be rude than to come to harm

Wait… he put his jacket on the back of YOUR chair? I would have picked it up between thing and forefinger and looked him in the eye while I dropped it onto the floor. I hate space invaders.

How do you know they don't? If you saw two blokes chatting you'd probably assume they're mates but they could've just met. Does no ones husband ever talk to blokes down the pub or walking the dog etc. I find that hard to believe.