Enjoying quiet drink & elder man approaches

If he wanted just a friendly chat he should have approached the men stood at the bar.
Strange how women aren’t chatting up men much younger than them isn’t it.

I'm curious:

If he was trying to chat her up, in order for men and women to form relationships, somebody has to make the first move by way of trying to make conversation so I'm kind of surprised at the flak this guy is getting.

I mean obviously he should have buggered off when she expressed that she wasn't interested (which he did to be fair). I can't stress that enough.

Now given the obvious fact that a relationship requires a first move by someone, OP, are you perhaps just disgusted that a man of his age tried it on with you and that's what is behind this outrage?
Not judging you if so. I'd be the same. but if it was a hot guy, would you feel the same outrage?

Because otherwise this really is a case of nothing to see here move along.

This.

He tried to chat, you told him you wanted to watch the match, he left. What's the problem?

Where did I say he sexually harrassed her?

Apologies for the underlining. Can’t seem
to fix it!

How exactly did he sexually harass her in this instance?

This kind of thing is a bloody pain op. I had hoped it would stop as I got older. Sadly not. The men have just got older. Now at 55 I’m regularly harassed by men in their 70/80’s. Seriously, what on earth do they think they’re doing? Even if I wasn’t happily married, I wouldn’t be interested in someone decades older than myself. It never stops unfortunately.

Yeah, I'm a woman and I don't think that every man who engages with me is trying it on. I'm not that fucking attractive.
It's a social environment, people are there to mix. A pub is not a library, cafe or restaurant.

And even if this guy was trying to chat her up, so fucking what? As long as he went away when she said she was not interested there's nothing to be annoyed about.

I would have said straight away that I didn’t want to talk to him rather than ignore him.
At which stage did he put his jacket on your chair, that’s very intrusive and you didn’t say that in your OP.

I'm a bloke in his 50s and I wouldn't dream of doing this, and neither would any of my mates. If he put his coat on the back of your chair that's crossing a line definitely. I partially want to extent benefit of the doubt and say it's a generational thing, but it probably isn't. It's probably exactly what your gut is telling you, and I hope many men now air strongly on the side of caution around women on their own. You shouldn't have to deal with it, it's entitled, and you don't owe him a thing. He'd be the first to be puffing up his feathers if it was his wife that someone was beelining for an innocent chat with.

Totally agree.

"I went into a social environment where the atmosphere is buzzing and people have taken alcohol and I was amazed that somebody approached me for a chat. Said person did go away when I said I didn't want to talk. "

I’m guessing the OP went in to watch England in the six nations, so probably not.

YANBU OP, most men in pubs on a Saturday afternoon with sport on the TV are generally in there to watch the game and have a few beers with their mates, hence why most of them left you alone to enjoy it too.

Mr Creepy, I believe saw you there as a lone woman who was desperate for male “company”, he wasn’t interested in the game hence why he homed in then left before it finished.

I wonder what goes through Creepy Men’s brains, and how they perceive this behaviour to not only be acceptable but welcome.

YANBU. I would have just said (loudly). No, I don’t want to talk. I’d have said it once and then ignored him.
No pleases or thank you’s for people like this.
If he persisted I’d have told staff he was bothering me.

The entitlement of men is astounding, you did nothing wrong.

I was in the queue to get in to evensong at York Cathedral and the man behind me in the queue told me I needed to get a man. Now I am actually married but that’s irrelevant. Can’t even go to a bloody church service without getting bothered.

Does it matter saddle! sidle!. We all knew what the OP meant.
There's always one who thinks they need to educate.

@IndigoBluey you can't teach an old dog new tricks 😊
He was probably just happy see a new face. I know the sort of pub. Yawn.
That aside, did your team win?

She wouldn’t have to if he’d behaved like a civilized human being and taken no for an answer at once. And if anyone thinks this is anything to do with the age of either person involved, I suggest they have a chat with their young adult daughters.

Right on sister, but no need to come moaning on the internet about it.

He should have immediately buggered off after your first response- he had absolutely no right to persist. Some men are just arrogant shits. His age is immaterial.

Fuck that honey. Women will go wherever the fuck we want, and if a random dude needs to be told to fuck off, then so be it.

A few weeks ago I was with a group of friends in a Costa, maybe half a dozen of us over two tables pushed together.

Someone went to the loo and a bloke tried to sit down in her chair, which was by the wall so he was actually trying to squeeze round us.

He couldn’t seem to understand that we weren’t going to be grateful for male company. We had to physically get in his way & say very loudly and clearly that the chair was taken and we didn’t want him to sit there.

It wasn’t even as if the place was full - not only were there spare tables but when he finally gave up, he went & sat down with another bloke who was obviously his mate.

Thid one wasn’t old either, maybe late 30s.

YADNBU, OP.

OP you are absolutely NBU. I think these types of men target lone women because they know they’ll usually feel too awkward to tell them to FO.

It used to happen to me all the time particularly by men who are a similar ethnic background and the opener is always “where are you from?” When I tell them I’m English, it’s always “where are your parents from? Or “What religion are you?”

It happens less now because I’ve perfected my resting bitch face though I have had “don’t look so worried, you’ll get your drink” when I’ve been minding my own business waiting at the bar. I was too polite to hold my boundaries when I was younger, I’m more assertive now but it still feels awkward!

YANBU, but if you want to enjoy being by yourself don't go into an area populated mainly by men, especially when they have had a drink.

& don't worry there's lots more entitled men maturing into entitled old men coming up behind them