Enjoying quiet drink & elder man approaches

I can't believe some of the excuses rolled out for this bloke by some posters here.

The OP was sitting on her own intently watching the rugby. She wasn't looking around idly or making eye contact, she was absorbed in the match.

Entitled Grandad heads over, asks a few questions that she ignores because she's watching the match, he hovers there smiling down at her like a weirdo, then asks her name and take the hump when she says she's just there for the rugby.

He could have talked to any of the blokes in the pub but he crossed the room to get in the face of the much younger woman sitting on her own.

No decent bloke does they. It's rude, it's intrusive and it's creepy. I asked my young adult sons whether it would be OK to behave lie this in a pub and they were absolutely clear that no, that's rude and inappropriate (before @DaisyDoodler starts assuming I hate my own lads)

Good on you, @IndigoBluey for having boundaries.

Agree.

This was my thought exactly. He was claiming his territory! Predatory behaviour 🚩🚩🚩

Was it the Spoons? When this happened to me the barman was there to help.

What a rude man. He obviously thought you were one of the facilities provided by the management of the pub for the use of customers.

I'm in my 50's and I would most likely have politely appeased, whilst silently seething that he was spoiling the match I'd paid good money to see.

I work with a woman in her 20's and her position is that it should be against the law for men to talk to women they don't know in public.

I think she is right.

Men should fuck the hell off and leave women alone. Why should we entertain them for one moment, if we don't want to?

I know pubs are public and social spaces but if you go into a pub to watch a match, it's obvious that that is what you are doing. If you are watching the last quarter of a match, in a pub, you aren't going to be interested in chatting to some random, regardless of whether they are a man or woman, and it is not rude to point this out to someone trying to engage you in conversation.

I used to go to pubs on my own a lot when I was single, mainly for gigs. I was not there to engage with other humans beyond the odd sentence. I was not there to keep some random person company. It is very obvious who wants to chat and who does not. This bloke needed to back off. I wonder if the other guys in the pub knew him and avoided him, hence he was looking for new blood. Who cares? He needed to just foxtrot oscar.

Too many men think that women owe it to them to be 'nice'.

It's the 'be kind' conditioning biological women have. Men and men who think they are women don't have this.

Don't ignore your instincts. Men prey on women and their 'be kind' response. He was bothering you and you were correct.

My grandfather was a really chatty bloke. But he wouldn’t chat to someone not in the mood for chatting. And he be able to tell because he wasn’t totally ignorant.

frigid whores 🤭

He has hands.

Why on earth would you put your coat on someone else's chair that they are sitting in- thats a completely bizarre, intrusive and bloody weird thing to do.

Thank you for saying something. I'm really introverted and nothing annoys me more than when people tells these stories and commenters go 'oh it would've made his day, bet he was lonely, I've spoken to people from all walks of life and it's lovely-' okay well it's ruined my day and I'm not interested. Why do I have to pretend to be?

If I've said it before I've said it 100 times - why do the needs of the chatty get prioritised over the needs of those of us who just want to sit quietly?

Well done OP.

Strangers talking to others is okay depending on the situation and environment.

Sitting down next to a lone woman in a pub, half your age, inappropriate. As you said there were men in there, if it was the fact he wanted to chat to someone as he was lonely, he could have chatted to anyone of the men, but chose you!

A 70 year old man, stopping me in Tesco when I am with my 18 month old son, to chat to us both, absolutely okay and nothing weird about it.

Totally inappropriate to foist himself on you. He didn’t get the message, tough luck.

We’re all whores too, don’t forget.

Exactly. I am the ulitmate people pleaser and close to this man's age. I totally can't be bothered.
I have left a singing group as I am sick of people draining the life out of me.

Yeah, bunch of fat ugly stuck up bitches, amirite?

He had arms with hands on the end of them.

Female. And maybe there was nowhere else to put his coat.

Are you talking harassment with a small 'h' or a capital 'H' which is a criminal offence?
If it's the latter, then I'm sorry but the police would not do anything about this particular incident.

I would only class it harassment if he continued to talk to me after I told him to leave me alone.

Can I ask if you are male or female?

The invasion of a total stranger's space by hanging your jacket on a chair they are sitting in is one of dominance, entitlement and passive aggression. It is not something that would be done, except very rarely, by a female.

It breaks the rules of polite social interaction.

You’re right, why on earth are women making such a big deal of how challenging it can be to ask men to leave them alone? It’s such a non-event isn’t it?

Man jailed for assaulting woman who rejected him https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c8ekl19ppz8o

https://www.buzzfeed.com/patricepeck/street-harassment-women-rejecting-men-toxic-masculinity

https://www.bettertospeak.org/stories/when-will-women-stop-being-victims-of-men-who-cant-handle-rejection

It looks like SidlingOlderGuy has joined the thread.

Out of the 1770 people who have voted, 1681 people disagree with him.