To raise washing with ex?

81 replies

Smellysusan · 07/03/2026 23:40

When DC is in my care, they are washed/bathed every day. They genuinely get smelly without (7 year old) around their bum area.

Ex never washes DC, even when they’re there for five days at a time.

I know we both have PR but AIBU to raise this? Am I being OTT?

OP posts:

Original poster

Smellysusan · 08/03/2026 00:38

@takealettermsjones
DC is young for his age, I don’t think he would just take himself to wash…especially in a shower he’s not familiar with using.

I have sort of said for him to ask ex but nothing has changed.

OP posts:

Original poster

Smellysusan · 08/03/2026 00:35

I think DC needs to understand good hygiene as well as actually needing to be clean. I’m worried about him being smelly to his friends too.

OP posts:

takealettermsjones · 08/03/2026 00:33

If DC has mentioned it - can they shower by themselves? What would your ex say if they asked? Maybe you could work on encouraging DC to shower by themselves so they don't need ex to initiate it? It is very sad that that's necessary though

takealettermsjones · 08/03/2026 00:31

I initially read this thinking I was going to say YABU - I don't bath my kids daily - but five days! That's too many imo. They'll have had PE, been running around parks etc.

Original poster

Smellysusan · 08/03/2026 00:25

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 08/03/2026 00:17

Of course raise this. How do you know they don’t wash for five days? I wouldn’t allow more than one overnight.

DC has mentioned it a few times now, normally very reliable so I’ve no reason to doubt it.

I’ve been reading threads where some people to on wash their kids like this or even less often. I don’t want to cause a fall out unnecessarily

OP posts:

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 08/03/2026 00:17

Of course raise this. How do you know they don’t wash for five days? I wouldn’t allow more than one overnight.

Unflip

1 2 3 4