What is considered rich these days??

This. Read the room..stop it.

There has been a spate of posters claiming to be “working class” “housewives” of “rich” men. They then get all the details wrong and scarper. 🤓

Neither do I but when I did, I worked hard.

Of course you did.

You have been lucky.

My partner says similar to you about luck. I tell him he’s a fucking idiot to think that and after some explanation he usually agrees. But it’s imbedded. Hence having the conversation multiple times. He literally believes that at a core level.

Was it luck you met your partner? I would say yes
Was it luck that you have health? I would say yes

I come from an area of wealth (cobham specifically) and worked low end jobs as a teen. But most around me were privileged - even by virtue of being in that area if on benefits and social housing (which some I knew were) you are still privileged to some effect due to the quality of state schooling. It was only when I moved to the midlands and in a minimum wage job that I really understood luck and privilege. I was lucky to be born in to an area where most around me had wealth and mobility, that embeds and it shapes your mindset. I was lucky to have education and go to a top uni. I was lucky to have my accent which makes me able to move in most social circles unaffected by class boundaries. Lucky to have a family who gave me a sense of security that I felt able to take risks. And most of all after seeing colleagues who had remortgaged and couldn’t pay, had cancer and had to continue working in between chemo. That I was lucky I had so far had health.

You are fucking lucky. And you won’t realise that until it’s gone - which might be never hopefully.

It depends where you live and who you're comparing yourself too. Around here (SW London) that's not rich just comfortable but if you're in Wales or Northern England then yes it is.

Isn't there some sort of saying which I have prob got a bit wrong but you'll get the gist that a man felt rich on £100k salary and then found out his neighbour was on £120k and suddenly felt less rich.

@Differentforgirls presumably buttering a bread roll whole instead of breaking off a piece and buttering each piece. Seem to remember that is an arcane rule.

You say ‘we studied far beyond post-graduate level’ and quit being a nurse when you had your first child. So you worked what, 6 or 7 years of your life? Or did the ‘we’ actually refer to your husband. That’s not you working ‘very hard’.

Your SIL does sound rude and I see that you’ve drip fed in that she is on benefits and asks for money, to make her sound worse. But you sound like you deserve it tbh with your disingenuous ‘be kind’ tone and co-opting of your husband’s achievements.

Do you know what “butter your bread whole” means?

THIS! with all the bells and whistles on it. Mumsnet is a very confusing place.

You said he’s a barrister which is different to a solicitor. Not sure why you think posters won’t know what an equity partner in a law firm is (as a solicitor) but would instead know the ins and outs of a barrister. Bizarre thinking.

My DH is a partner of a law firm
and has done all the things (and more) that you say yours has done.

Solicitors can and do receive bonuses.

It's well off if you compare it to most of the country and the whole world rather than to the relatively small numbers of people in whose hands wealth is increasingly concentrating.

Your husband is on a quarter of a million annually and you're whinging that you're not well off. I'd find you irritating, too.

I have a client who has 25 rental properties. He doesn’t consider himself anywhere near rich or well off.

What a ghastly post.

I agree with you OP. You’re not rich at all; rich to me is someone with over £1m in the bank (not assets) and never needing to think about their budget.

You’re certainly well off or comfortable, but not rich.

Always love the women super proud of……..someone else’s salary.

Absolutely constant on MN. Cringeworthy.

Most of my family would tell you I’m the “rich one”, and compared to our experiences growing up, they are right. My lifestyle feels rich to me (supermarket shopping without worrying about the prices, holidays, some money into savings each month) and my income is perhaps half of yours. I think too many people define rich as the billionaire, super yacht types - that is a different league of rich.

Depends. Both DH and I have earned £100k plus each for a few years. But with high childcare and mortgage costs we did’t consider ourselves rich as such: high mortgage payments, one very old car, only UK holidays, state schools, not much in savings etc. However, a few years on, childcare costs have dropped and we’ve saved hard, so now have significant equity in our home, savings, pensions etc so yes, we are now rich. Sure, doesn’t buy us as much as we’d thought it would, we don’t do exotic holidays or designer clothes. We’re very conscious of university costs on the horizon and that our kids will probably never be able to buy a home without help, so a huge chunk of our savings are earmarked for that. Means that, while a generation ago people like us would be looking at early retirement, cruises etc, we’re looking at working until our late sixties and a much less lavish retirement than our parents generation, despite looking pretty wealthy on paper.

Our parents’ generation would probably have considered our lifestyle reasonably modest given our professions and income, but by modern standards we’re rich. So all depends on your definition of rich. We’ve worked hard and also been lucky so we’re pretty grateful.

That’s not well off. My DH and I earn more than that and I wouldn’t consider us well off,
and we’ve got multiple land assets.

But, as you say, it’s all relative. Depends on your outgoings and what you call luxuries etc.

You said in later posts that your DH did a total of four years of professional training. That’s the standard length of a PhD.

You trained as a nurse. A critically important profession but an undergraduate degree, if any, normally.

In what sense have you both trained ‘far beyond post graduate level’?

To consider any success ‘hard work and entirely lacking of any luck’ makes my blood run cold. Tell that to some of our best and brightest young science PhDs as one funding stream after another dries up.

Agree with this 💯!
Lots of people work bloody hard but don’t have half or anywhere near what the OP and her hubby have and never will. The OP is out of touch and her SIL is spot on.

Your SIL is being very unreasonable to be so rude. You are very well off and I wouldn't call your lifestyle 'modest'. However of course there are some people even better off. 'Rich' is relative. I feel rich compared to most of the people on this earth and our income is less than half yours and we both have to work full time for It (and work hard too!) It sounds like she'd be horrible whatever your income as long as it was more than hers. I would ask her what she means by that every time she comments.

It’s funny how you and OP keep implying other people are lying but everything OP says is sacrosanct.

’To go without’ implies you’re sacrificing essentials.. Very different to ‘easily done on our income’.