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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What is considered rich these days??

613 replies

Soccermomsavestheday · 07/03/2026 22:55

So my husband and I live a pretty decent life but not one that warrants being called ‘financially out of touch’ and ‘how the other half live’ in my opinion which is just a couple of example of my sil many comments towards us.

My husband earns around £250k a year, I don’t have to work so don’t. We live in a nice 4 bedroom detached house with a lovely sized wrap around garden. We’re lucky enough to send our children to private school. We don’t go on extravagant holidays or wear high end designer clothes etc. We both drive Range Rovers but one is second hand (5 years old). And bottom line we have worked really hard to be where we are but don’t consider ourselves ‘Rich’ more so comfortable that we can live a modest life without financial restraints

it really bugs me when she says stuff like ‘you wouldn’t know what it’s like to budget’ and ‘it’s alright for some’ etc. I do budget monthly and am very much aware of how much things costs etc

Am I being unreasonable in this situation?

OP posts:
Motherscanbefuppers · 08/03/2026 02:09

Soccermomsavestheday · 07/03/2026 23:12

It really has been hard work educationally. We both come from working class backgrounds but studied far beyond post graduate level and worked our way up the ladder as such. We have never had any financial help. So yes I do consider that hard work and entirely lacking of any luck 😊

If you were so ambitious and hard working all your life until now, how did you suddenly get to the point of “my husband earns £250k, I don’t have to work so I don't”. In my experience, if you were anywhere close to your husband in terms of work ethic, ambition and earning potential, you don’t just turn that off because you “don’t have to” work. Something not adding up here.

Soccermomsavestheday · 08/03/2026 02:07

abracadabra1980 · 08/03/2026 01:58

I think your SIL is rude, she should keep her comments to herself. On the other hand, I was once in a similar position to you, until my exH had an affair and left. Totally out of the blue, I had no clue and everyone who knew us was blindsided. That was many years ago and after a breakdown and two babies to care for, I retrained and started my own business. I also managed the £ I got from the divorce very frugally and very well. No 5* holidays or Range Rovers (imho naff status symbols unless you live rurally). You are leaving yourself very financially vulnerable. Personally I have never felt wealthier than I do now, downsized over the years, finally to a little mortgage free cottage with no exH, just me and my pets and not a lot of disposable income. Pure bliss.

We do live rural

thats awful what your husband done. Sounds like you’ve done an amazing job to get back on your feet and become financially independent.
What a strong woman you are
Respect 👊🏼 ❤️

OP posts:
Soccermomsavestheday · 08/03/2026 02:02

LunaTheCat · 08/03/2026 01:50

Myself and my husband earn 1/4 of your earnings.
We have a house with a lovely garden.. the house needs a drastic update but it is home and has lots wonderful memories and there has been lots laughter here, we are also lucky to have paid off our mortgage.
My husband drives a 20 year old car and I have a newish (2 yrs) hybrid corolla which I love.
I have lost both my parents. I have also lost a much loved sister .
My husband had recently been diagnosed with bowel cancer and so far, seems early . He is having surgery next week.
I consider myself very rich indeeed..but I suspect we measure riches differently.

Away from this thread we measure riches exactly the same. Money can’t buy priceless memories and the feelings of pure love. Being grateful for health is always top of my list ❤️

OP posts:
thecomedyofterrors · 08/03/2026 02:01

I think you are rich. Obviously not super rich, but well off.

Some things I find so tacky though! Saying ‘lucky enough’ to send kids to private school, and two rage rovers! So cliche.

abracadabra1980 · 08/03/2026 01:58

I think your SIL is rude, she should keep her comments to herself. On the other hand, I was once in a similar position to you, until my exH had an affair and left. Totally out of the blue, I had no clue and everyone who knew us was blindsided. That was many years ago and after a breakdown and two babies to care for, I retrained and started my own business. I also managed the £ I got from the divorce very frugally and very well. No 5* holidays or Range Rovers (imho naff status symbols unless you live rurally). You are leaving yourself very financially vulnerable. Personally I have never felt wealthier than I do now, downsized over the years, finally to a little mortgage free cottage with no exH, just me and my pets and not a lot of disposable income. Pure bliss.

Soccermomsavestheday · 08/03/2026 01:56

ThePerfectWeekender · 08/03/2026 01:50

Not a lawyer and have no knowledge of the law, but stopped reading when I realised you were correcting your bullshit everytime you were caught out. School fees affordability...bonus, that isn't a bonus. DH's job...barrister, except he isn't because us eejits couldn't possibly comprehend his big job.
DIL's mum earns as much as your DH working from her home office, although her house is a lot bigger than yours and she wouldn't be seen dead in a RR.
She is a lawyer, in a very boring, albeit lucrative, part of the profession. She owns her company that does only converancing. I've never heard her try to tell anyone she's a barrister because she earns well.

Edited

That’s helpful actually.
You don’t think I’m ‘rich’ and neither do I.

I don’t care whether people think I’m being honest or not. That’s for you to decide I guess. I’m not in a court of law under oath 😉
(like my pun)

I just wanted opinions away from friends and family

OP posts:
ThePerfectWeekender · 08/03/2026 01:50

Not a lawyer and have no knowledge of the law, but stopped reading when I realised you were correcting your bullshit everytime you were caught out. School fees affordability...bonus, that isn't a bonus. DH's job...barrister, except he isn't because us eejits couldn't possibly comprehend his big job.
DIL's mum earns as much as your DH working from her home office, although her house is a lot bigger than yours and she wouldn't be seen dead in a RR.
She is a lawyer, in a very boring, albeit lucrative, part of the profession. She owns her company that does only converancing. I've never heard her try to tell anyone she's a barrister because she earns well.

LunaTheCat · 08/03/2026 01:50

Myself and my husband earn 1/4 of your earnings.
We have a house with a lovely garden.. the house needs a drastic update but it is home and has lots wonderful memories and there has been lots laughter here, we are also lucky to have paid off our mortgage.
My husband drives a 20 year old car and I have a newish (2 yrs) hybrid corolla which I love.
I have lost both my parents. I have also lost a much loved sister .
My husband had recently been diagnosed with bowel cancer and so far, seems early . He is having surgery next week.
I consider myself very rich indeeed..but I suspect we measure riches differently.

Soccermomsavestheday · 08/03/2026 01:45

patooties · 08/03/2026 01:37

I was a SAHM for ten years with babies / toddlers / pregnant or breastfeeding.

I cannot claim the income my husband brought home during that period (to pay the very low mortgage on the house that I had bought in my early 20’s) as ‘me working very hard’.

We enabled each other - just as we do now. I work hard - my earning potential is higher than his, he’s keeping the home fires burning and making sure the kids (now late teens) are staying on the straight and narrow.

If he bragged or pretended that our standard of living was down to his hard work we would be having words!

we are a team - but I couldn’t keep quiet if he was larging it as though he were the mighty benefactor - as the non working OP is!

This isn’t real life.
I don’t brag. I asked for opinions unanimously which meant I gave some financial facts about my life.

I’ve said several times that my husband and I are a team. He may provide financially but we view it as our money for us and our children. There have been times I’ve financially supported him through his training years (many years ago admittedly). We don’t have a hierarchy because he works and I don’t. We work together and we’re happy (which again wasn’t the point of this post).

I just wanted to know what people viewed as ‘rich’ and I’ve had some helpful answers which I’m grateful for

OP posts:
Soccermomsavestheday · 08/03/2026 01:38

wandawaves · 08/03/2026 01:37

So on this thread people are angry at OP and are saying she IS rich on 250k. But on another thread people are angry at that OP and are saying she is NOT rich on 600k.

Mumsnetters just got to be angry at someone 🤣

That made me laugh
I must find this other thread 😂

OP posts:
Soccermomsavestheday · 08/03/2026 01:37

OneBreezyHelper · 08/03/2026 01:19

You are being unfair, because you know that wasn't where the comparaison was.

It's still true that many families who could at a push chose private education decide not to. Not saying they're wrong (and in many cases I believe they are right frankly.)

but it's absolutely true that some families prioritise education and others don't.

How many also decide to buy a house based on the school catchment and only based on the school catchment? Same thing. No one is saying everyone can afford to do that either.

It really wasn’t where the comparison was, not even close. I know people who can easily afford to see their children to private schools but they don’t want to and that’s absolutely fine. Each to their own.

OP posts:
patooties · 08/03/2026 01:37

cshp · 08/03/2026 01:14

I do find these comments odd though particularly on mumsnet... smacks of jealousy, given we are all aware of the load women hold whether children, household or otherwise.

I was a SAHM for ten years with babies / toddlers / pregnant or breastfeeding.

I cannot claim the income my husband brought home during that period (to pay the very low mortgage on the house that I had bought in my early 20’s) as ‘me working very hard’.

We enabled each other - just as we do now. I work hard - my earning potential is higher than his, he’s keeping the home fires burning and making sure the kids (now late teens) are staying on the straight and narrow.

If he bragged or pretended that our standard of living was down to his hard work we would be having words!

we are a team - but I couldn’t keep quiet if he was larging it as though he were the mighty benefactor - as the non working OP is!

wandawaves · 08/03/2026 01:37

So on this thread people are angry at OP and are saying she IS rich on 250k. But on another thread people are angry at that OP and are saying she is NOT rich on 600k.

Mumsnetters just got to be angry at someone 🤣

Soccermomsavestheday · 08/03/2026 01:31

answersonly · 08/03/2026 01:18

No. Read your words. I've reacted to exactly what you wrote.

You have a really odd passive-aggressive style of communication.

Regardless of class. Some people don’t prioritise education. That’s a fact.
There are plenty of very wealthy uneducated people in the world. That is also a fact.

It is absolutely awful that some families live in such conditions and I wish with all my heart that no one had to live in poverty and have to choose between food or warm. Basic needs being met should never be a compromise.

I felt your post was coming from a place of anger in which I didn’t want to engage as that was not what I came here for. I have posted here many times and everytime there are a handful of people who just want to be rude and accusatory and ridicule and look for an argument which I refuse to engage with hence my short response to you

Apologies for any confusion on my part

OP posts:
cshp · 08/03/2026 01:26

nomas · 08/03/2026 01:16

The point is her post is all about money but she isn’t bringing in the money and bragging about her husband who does. It’s uncouth.

Yeah but if her dh earned 35k would posters say the same?
As per my previous post yes I think they- the couple - are out if touch or missing the point with the family comments. But still.

OneBreezyHelper · 08/03/2026 01:23

Confuserr · 08/03/2026 01:20

I'm now imagining being the plain, clumsy and short little sister of some gorgeous supermodel and trying my hardest to set up my successful plumbing business because the fate of our birth means I'm destined to match her multi million quid income 😂

we were talking about school and family support, but never mind, it can be hard to keep up for some 😂

nomas · 08/03/2026 01:23

MyCheekyEagle · 08/03/2026 01:21

Humble brag!

Not even humble, just nouveau riche crassness,

Appleblum · 08/03/2026 01:22

It's all relative. I wouldn't consider 250k rich now but I do remember a time when I thought 100k would be an amazing salary.

Confuserr · 08/03/2026 01:22

takealettermsjones · 08/03/2026 01:19

Haha "rather surprising submission" made me laugh, in the same way I used to say something was "a remarkable coincidence" 😂

"Certainly an... interesting interpretation" (raised eyebrow to the judge)

answersonly · 08/03/2026 01:22

Confuserr · 08/03/2026 01:20

I'm now imagining being the plain, clumsy and short little sister of some gorgeous supermodel and trying my hardest to set up my successful plumbing business because the fate of our birth means I'm destined to match her multi million quid income 😂

😂

MyCheekyEagle · 08/03/2026 01:21

Humble brag!

answersonly · 08/03/2026 01:21

Confuserr · 08/03/2026 01:16

I didn't call him/her dim, just said it was a dim take.

Do you agree with PP that all siblings have exactly equal earning capacities? I think that's such a silly opinion that I was struggling to find a nice word to describe it. I guess in court I might say it's a "rather surprising submission", not a "dim take".

We do need the laughing emoji back.

And, now, sadly, I do need to try to sleep or I'll be a complete useless heap tomorrow.

Goodnight all.

Except the OP's s-i-l who I hope is on a deservedly lumpy mattress!

Confuserr · 08/03/2026 01:20

answersonly · 08/03/2026 01:15

Why should someone be supportive of an ableist and unpleasant, and yes, dim, take?

I'm now imagining being the plain, clumsy and short little sister of some gorgeous supermodel and trying my hardest to set up my successful plumbing business because the fate of our birth means I'm destined to match her multi million quid income 😂

randomchap · 08/03/2026 01:20

answersonly · 08/03/2026 01:18

No. Read your words. I've reacted to exactly what you wrote.

You have a really odd passive-aggressive style of communication.

It's almost like they are tyrying to annoy and irritate people

Soccermomsavestheday · 08/03/2026 01:20

Confuserr · 08/03/2026 01:16

I didn't call him/her dim, just said it was a dim take.

Do you agree with PP that all siblings have exactly equal earning capacities? I think that's such a silly opinion that I was struggling to find a nice word to describe it. I guess in court I might say it's a "rather surprising submission", not a "dim take".

I don’t agree with it. I also didn’t shut her down.
I read between the lines that she was referring to siblings with similar abilities.

I have two children who are very different and know they will not have the same opportunities in life regardless of being brought up in the same home.

I just don’t get the argumentative and judgemental vibes from your posts.

OP posts:
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