What is considered rich these days??

People have a tendency to say/think 'Nobody needs more than £x to live on', where 'x' is twice their income. Somebody on £30k would consider £60k a dream wage that would cover all eventualities. Somebody on £60k would say the same for those on £120k.

In reality, you're probably rich if you own a £1+ million home outright and have sufficient investments to provide an income of at least £10k per month NET. Even then, the income might be a bit on the low side.

Having to work to pay a mortgage and school fees does not make you 'rich'.

Reading your replies you don’t sound particularly nice. I find people who brag about wealth completely classless and yes, your post is 100% bragging about your wealth.

On that salary your family will be considered rich by most people as your DH earns more than 99% of the UK working population. However, lots of high earning jobs are mentally pressured with little work life balance which I would wager most people wouldn't be able to maintain so I understand your frustration.

The issue with your SIL is separate. Your SIL is being grabby and you shouldn't feel that you have to support her - she isn't entitled to your money. My DP and also have a good six figure household income, earning significantly more than anyone else in our families, and have faced the same issue. We've had to set clear boundaries when asked for 'loans' or to pay for very expensive gifts etc which feels awkward but over time has reduced the requests/demands. Good luck with the SIL.

Yeah I’m not sure how OP has worked really hard to become a SAHM vs any other SAHM.

I wouldn't say you were rich. I would say you are very comfortable.

To answer your original question - no, I wouldn’t consider you ‘rich’ but I would consider you very comfortable and living a fairly affluent lifestyle.

Financially out of touch - yes, a bit. Mainly because you think you live a modest lifestyle, it doesn’t seem that modest relative to your household income - it seems entirely in line with your means, and most household means are not that high. Given that, yes, I would imagine you do some light budgeting.

Your sister’s comments sound very irritating. They would piss me off, on the assumption that you haven’t been making what she considers to be irritating comments to her and she is gently trying to make you aware of that. No talk of budgeting or moaning about money in any way…

Completely agree. My 65 year old Dad works harder than almost anyone I know, still working 5 nights a week in a factory. Never had a lot of money though.

It's all relative.

You are far poorer than someone married to a say a NHS consultant on £150,000 per annum with a decent NHS pension.

On say 300,000 ( adding in bonus ) your DH can only pay a limited amount into their pensions and this diminishes with every earnings increase until he can only pay in a maximum of £10,000 per annum.

He will then have to do all of his retirement savings on upfronted taxed ISAs. This is 20,000 each. This means that he loses the accumulated compounded growth you get into a pension. So for him it will be a hard slog to save up for retirement. In essence he has to save 40 % more as has retirement is saved for out of taxed and not untaxed earnings ( or salary sacrifice)

He is taxed to the hilt as he has no personal allowance. Also you and not taking advantage of your personal allowance. This means that a working couple on collective income of 200,000 or 100,000 each are far better off ( with salary sacrifice or retain both persona allowances). In fact a couple on say £80,000 each are better off.

Also life as an EP is not secure and is dependant on having excellent client following and being positioned in a firm where their objectives/ growth desires and his practice aligns and that can change overnight. A firm can decide to ditch say its construction department or IP overnight as it does not fit their future growth plans.

With the current economic situation you would ne better off if both of you worked in some decent public sector role with decent pensions and no worries about the next big deal .

Added to all that the Gov is threatening a review of national insurance on law partnerships which means that he could end up paying double national insurance as an employer and employee. Thus could meant a loss of net earnings of about £20,000.

So unless you already have over one million pounds in savings ( that will give a 50,000 per annum pension but not index linked or 40,000 pr less index linked ) or are still very young you are not comfortable yet alone wealthy.

The gritty reality is that everyone in the country is vastly poorer than they would have been 20 years ago. All people are taxed far far more and although the comfortable middle classes are still described as that, their life style has reduced down .

The poor are the same
The lower working classes are better off
The working classes are worse off
The middle classes are worse off
The upper middle classes are worse off
The rich are far richer
The Uber rich are now in a different stratosphere

We have the ancien regime back and it’s led by nation less or international billionaires who don’t really pay taxes as we recognise them .

It's all relative. There's always someone richer than you and always something that's just beyond your reach financially. The more money you have, the more options there are to spend it. This makes it easy for the wealthy to lose touch with how most people live. OP, I suggest taking a walk through an area of high deprivation every now and again. That will answer your question.

If she supported him while he went to law school and he went to law school and the training that comes after, then they have BOTH worked hard for what they have.

Your jealousy is amusing but you do know you could have gotten a better education which would probably lead to a better paying job, right? Just like they did? They weren't handed it on a silver platter and it's silly to denigrate them because you didn't go the same route and now have your nose out of joint.

It's all relative isn't it. Compared to where I've come from, I'm rich. Compared to some of my professional peers, I'm a pauper! I'd say if money isn't a worry, you're rich.

I'm going to question the 'working class' thing though because this irks me in general (not particularly related to yourself but still...) Does working class mean 'both my parents had a job' ?? I consider myself working class because I was brought up on a council estate in the north of England by a single mother, with help from my grandmother. My alcoholic dad was absent. That's very different to having two working parents in well paid professional roles. Just pondering this one....

And I find the opposite. Sorry you've had such a lousy experience. Mine was wonderful, fulfilling and just about perfect. I worked for several years and it sucked. Everything about it sucked and my marriage and children suffered.

But then, we have never been ones to feel the need to "keep up with the Jones" or even have big holidays. We did feel the need to be there for our parents, children and each other. But, that's us.

I was very, very lucky with who I married and he says the same, daily.

Agree

ahhh bless you with your 5 year old Range Rover. You’re sooo down to earth

“We’ve worked hard for our money” cracks me up. It doesn’t sound like you’ve worked at all OP, let alone hard. And raising children is hard but that’s what every parent does whether they work or not.

You haven’t worked hard, your husband has. And potentially he hasn’t worked harder than the next person on £30k.

Enjoy your life, but don’t expect anyone to believe it’s down to your hard work.

😂

That's the thing about many of the genuinely wealthy. If you meet them in the street you often wouldn't know. Because wealthy people learn to be low key. If you dont life is an endless stream of sneering or being taken advantage of...

So, it's harder to be a solicitor then, since it takes much more schooling and training.
I didn't know that.

That proves the point. You can easily afford private school fees. How can you think of yourself as anything other than rich?

40k from 160k is not 1/3, it’s 1/4

What is she making the comments about, is it when something specific comes up or is she just making comments?
I.e is she reacting to something you've said?

It not just luck, its choices. You can study hard and CHOOSE to go into a career that you know will never really pay well, like teaching. Or you can CHOOSE profitable careers where six figures is standard, like consulting. People make different choices for different reasons but they are choices.

I would say rich is having more than one house worth over 5 million. Sending children to private schools, going on multiple holidays a year and not worrying about money ever. Just because you have a flash car does not make you rich. Many poor people have flashy cars. My relative falls into the category of very rich (3 properties worth over 5 million each, endless holidays, kids in private etc etc. But they have a very normal cars bought second hand!!!! Even though they can afford multiple flash cars bought brand new

You couldn't be considered rich on an income of 250k. You need to be earning 10 times that - and have all your assets paid for, no borrowing and have service staff.
The op is simply toward the high end of working class imo.