What is considered rich these days??

The thing is there will almost always be someone richer than you, unless you’re Elon Musk, and it’s common for those who others see as well off to try to convince themselves they’re not rich. Seen it all my life as someone who has never earned more than average income - and I’m now a single mum so that’s our household income, plus some maintenance. My friend with the lawyer dad and council boss mum growing up was always obsessing about how they weren’t rich while showing off her expensive stuff to me. I’ve had my hospital consultant friend with a similarly well-paid H moaning to me that money is tight. People don’t like to be thought of as rich.

But if I was told that from tomorrow I’d be earning £250K a year I’d consider myself fecking loaded. You need to try to see it from that (which is most people’s) perspective and graciously accept you are well-off and don’t cringe about it. Yes, you have spending power most people will never have and many can’t even imagine. It’s not a crime and I wouldn’t hold it against you but I WOULD roll my eyes if you started bleating on about how you weren’t well off.

I think you’re rich.

I feel rich compared to lots of my friends and my income is a fraction of yours. One dc at private school (pay half fees with xh)

I’m wondering what your non extravagant cars, clothes and holidays are?

I would class 2 fairly new range rovers as rich. The Aston Martin drivers I would
class as super-wealthy. I drive an 8 year old estate and plan to drive it for at least another 5 years.

Where do you holiday? This year I have a camping trip, a week in a cottage in the uk and self catering long weekend in a European city break which is my extravagance.

Where do you buy clothes? I do M&S, next and vinted.

I might be wrong but suspect that you are doing significantly more than me but I would never feel insulted if someone said I was rich as I’m happy with my lifestyle.

Your SIL is jealous - I’m sure she’d love your lifestyle and that’s where the barbed comments are coming from. What counts as rich so much depends on your outgoings I think. My dp and I earn about £70k between us after tax which years ago when there were just two of us would have felt like a fortune. Now with two teenagers, one at private school as she wasn’t coping in mainstream (SEN), it doesn’t go very far and both of us are working so hard that we have little leisure time. I’d still say we’re relatively rich compared to a big chunk of the population - we own our house, have a car, can pay the bills.

Prostitutes?

If you can afford private school in this economy then you are rich. You have just chosen to spend you money on something you think is important/worthwhile. If I earn a million pounds and spend it all it doesn't mean I'm not rich. Also just because you earn it/work hard doesn't mean you aren't rich. Suck it up and enjoy your privilege . Its ok to have wealth and spend it as you wish but stop whinging everyone doesn't see your 'struggle' and stop comparing to wealthier people

Husband's golf and cocaine habits?

“I don’t have to work so I don’t” paints a full picture all by itself.

Where on earth does all that money go?

I notice you don't mention investments and other sources of passive income. Based on the information you've provided, I wouldn't consider you 'rich' by current standards and relying solely on earned income from one person with such a high level of outgoings would be quite uncomfortable for a lot of people.

My husband earns £28Ok a year and I earn 90k. I'd say you were just scraping by(Joke).

I think hardly anyone thinks of themselves as rich - it’s always what the people a bit richer than them are. (Unless you’re Elon Musk or a premiership footballer).

I think we’re comfortable / lucky - just about scrape a 6 figure combined salary, pretty much no mortgage and 2 kids in private school mostly paid for by wider family which means we can afford nice holidays once or twice a year. We both have to work though as our salaries are fairly even.

I don’t think we’re rich, we see lots of people soooo much better off than us in the playground (and we’re certainly not rich by Mumsnet standards!) but equally I appreciate that compared to a family on minimum wage we probably are and I mostly feel very lucky.

To me, rich means you don’t have to work in order to maintain your chosen standard of living. Obviously that will vary from person to person, so I couldn’t put a monetary value on it.

This - OP’s husband has a high income but we haven’t been told enough about their total assets to decide if they’re ‘rich’.

I'm not surprised your MIL makes these comments if you really are as tone deaf as your post suggests. You have kids in private school, a large house and two cars and YOU DON'T EVEN NEED TO WORK?!? Wtaf. And yet you still say you're not rich. You must be infuriating to be around, particularly if -say - your MIL does live pay cheque to pay cheque, like many in the UK.

People on minimum wage work VERY hard too. That’s all I have to say about your post

Unfortunately earning 250k a year doesn’t get you far nowadays. The other day I checked one of our local private schools the tuition per year is 35k!!! A decent holiday for 4 is never below 5k. Everything is super expensive.

In my view to be considered rich you have to earn in the millions. 250 doesn’t scratch the surface. :(

@NorthernAndNervymy eyes are still watering at the cost of your ring just because you wanted it.

OP, why would you post this on here? You must know that there are millions in the UK earning a fraction of your income and you must know how this kind of thread goes down on MN.

Obviously, perceptions of wealth are all relative. You don't need this thread to work that out surely. So you have more money than this SIL. She makes some snarky comments. So what? What do you want people to tell you?

Stop assuming you have worked harder than other people. This is just silly. It's always the smug middle class types who start these threads, listing their Range Rovers etc. It's cringe - there is another thread on AMA like this. The actual 'rich' would never fell the need to seek attention.

Why do you need people to tell you if you are rich or not? You are quite well off, in my view, and on a national scale. But you know this already.

But it’s your husband’s wage, not yours. He earns the £250K.

Like a pen is having the knife lying between thumb and first finger, instead of having your hand over the knife. Honestly, don’t get people started with it, it seems to be the number one snob trigger factor. I didn’t know about the ‘rule’ until I was in my mid-20s, and I didn’t bother changing it, I eat perfectly well like that. It helps me pick out shallow idiots as well who are bothered by it.

Make sure you have income insurance OP. High paying jobs are often cancelled first.

I'm also surprised that you don't work having multiple degrees. What a waste. I'd be bored ridged.

What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? A bad lawyer might let a case drag on for several years. A good lawyer knows how to make it last even longer.

Beside the point I know but my dad was a lawyer for over 40 years and worked in family law so was often helping distressed mothers, wives and children in high need, often on legal aid - which was when it was paid for them, but at minimal costs, bc they couldn’t afford it and the lawyer received a much smaller amount in fees than usual. This often wouldn’t be paid straight away anyway and my parents would be waiting months, sometimes years to get what was owed to my dad. He did the job bc he wanted to help ppl so, as I can understand the negativity aimed at the ‘fat cat’ sleazeballs depicted on tv shows - a vast number of lawyers aren’t like this and it still pisses me off when these types of jokes are made about them.

I believe to the majority of people what you've described is rich, being able to pay for private school and living comfortably on one wage.

I wouldn't say you are rich based on your description, I'd say you are well off. Though I can't see if you've said how much you have in assets or savings. If it's millions then that would probably be considered rich.

I think it is fair to say you are completely financially out of touch if, having had the luxury of a large number of expensive choices, which you have taken (range rovers, children’s education, detached four bedroom house with nice garden), you do not consider yourself rich because you don’t additionally wear designer clothes and go on multiple holidays. To think “rich” means your wider family are the wealthy ones and fund you, or you don’t have to lift a finger to earn an income, or your finances are a bottomless pit, is just plain silly. If, with your dh’s income, you are not in any event additionally saving and investing for the long term in addition to living your current lifestyle, and thus further growing your wealth and security, then you are foolish rich, but nevertheless still rich at the moment, as you can easily afford to pay for all those expensive choices that the majority cannot and will never be able to afford. Your sil, on the other hand, sounds obnoxious and irritating, as your wealth clearly did not all come offered to you on a plate, yet she expects you to offer some of it to her on a plate.