Does anyone else struggle to clean and tidy their house?

She’s on iron tablets prescribed by a Dr and will be the right dose for her. Too much iron can be just as bad for you.

You may lose the drop off and pick up but the rest will remain.

I found regular decluttering was the way to go. Less is more as they say. If it hasn’t been used for 12 months, (clothes, shoes, toys, gadgets, books etc…) get rid. Clear out cupboards, wardrobes, bedrooms, etc…creating plenty of room for putting things away.

My kids are 17 and 14 and still I only have time (well actually make time) for a deep clean - which I hate doing - if they want their friends over.

At this stage, I think it only gets easier when they leave home.

I operate on a "see it, sort it" basis. If I see the skirting is collecting dust, I dust it right there and then.

Helps me keep on top of my house.

If you can afford it and can clear the floor, I swear by a robot hoover, I bought the Shark having seen a link for a sale price on here. I love it, I pick things off the floor and set it off in a room. My hallway always gets bad so that gets done twice a week the rest once a week... It just trundles around and then docks to empty while I lie on the sofa reading or while working in the other room. It's always lovely when just done and no bother to put it on if someone comes in with grass on their feet from the garden.
I did have a cleaner but she moved away and I couldn't find a replacement. This cost about 5 weeks of a cleaner.
Obviously I still have to do bathrooms and kitchen but as others have said I do those in little bits, clean the sink while kettle boils, clean the basin while I wash my hands, always carry things up the stairs.... Or down the stairs rather than making extra trips. I often dust while on the phone to my mum just chatting. I do the beds about every 4 weeks terrible I know! And shake and hang laundry and never iron. I even hang the washing on radiators near to where it's going so t towels always on kitchen rad, my clothes on the rads upstairs so I can walk past a radiator and fold 3 things and put them in a drawer as I pass.
If you leave the table always take something with you and don't just put things down on the side, straight in the dishwasher, one touch. Similarly I open the mail and immediately recycle the crap, envelopes etc, don't just put the stuff in a pile. One touch.
I have 3 kids and single mum and my kids take it in turns to wash up what doesn't go in the dishwasher so definitely train your kids too as mine help hang washing, empty dishwasher, mow the (small) lawn, cook or prep with me, change their beds. They never hoover or do bathrooms though. They are really independent and my son was quite shocked at uni how totally useless 3 out of 4 flatmates were!

Its definately alot going on for you. You could probably manage well when you are OK, but if you have had a hard week then it might go off the boil for you.. making it seem unachievable.

I found the best way to manage it is to work out how to keep your house from getting more unclean from what it currently is i.e. today is the worst its going to be, and aim to keep it like that for the next 3 months.

Options are:

See what you can budget for a cleaner once a month- even just an hour a month will get your bathroom really clean and some of the kitchen.

Start thinking "don't put it down, put it away". This has really helped me stay on top of things. This is also something you can teach your kids so as they grow up it makes it all so manageable.

Work out the minimum you can do on your worst day.. .i.e dust, folding clothing etc... for how long. If you know that if you are feeling like absolute shite you can put the plates away then you won't be crushed by shame.

And the obvious one give your children regular chores start really young i.e. putting away the cutlery etc.. this will build habits later.

Yes definitely me. Work full time, 2 snall kids, doing a degree and training for London marathon. DH is fairly helpful, though has to be nagged sometimes. I do not clean anywhere near as much as I should but O am basically permanently shattered. Would love a cleaner but would struggle to keep it tidy enough. Ideally I need a housekeeper but dont live in the right tax bracket for that sadly.

So no, you aren't the only one. My kids dont live in squalor but it could be so much better.

Every time you boil the kettle for a cuppa do something in the kitchen. Just a couple minutes at a time. Same while you are cooking you can load/unload the dishwasher/wash up between stirring a pot or checking over food.

clean the toilet and sink while you run a bath

dump buckets one for every room. Take it around and collect all the stuff for the allocated room then put in in that room to sort later if you run out of energy.

I have a robot vacuum and mop. It only does a light job so I still have to sweep up and mop after toddler eats for example but it’s life changing for hallways and the kitchen/bathroom floors.

give kids chores/make them help. Things like hanging washing and unloading dishwasher can easily be delighted. Mine have been ‘helping’ with this from around age 4. If my 9 year old pisses around the toilet floor I make him clean that up too. From age 8 other than putting the duvet cover on they were changing their own beds. Get them to pick up their own jumpers socks and shoes that seem to spread around the house!

Coverless duvets also amazing invention. I have a blanket underneath so I don’t have to wash the duvet every time.

change how you store your clothes. Hang anything that can be hung but you would normally fold. So t shirts can hang in a hanger to dry straight from the machine then into the wardrobe when dry completely skip the folding stage if laundry. Give up ironing and buy your clothes with this in mind.

A lot depends on finances. The basics are you dont have enough time to do your job, look after the children, make meals, clean and tidy everything, and get enough sleep.
If finances arent a struggle then reducing work hours could improve the exhaustion by allowing more time to fit everything else in. Or hiring a cleaner.
If that isnt an option, then can DH take over a bit more of the childcare on the weekend to give time to clean and tidy more then, or vice versa.

One thing to consider is that you will also be less productive if tired. You may find that going to sleep 2 hours earlier one night means you can actually get more achieved in 1 hour the following evening, compared to spending 2-3 hours struggling to do things whilst exhausted.

Agree. And I think when they brought out washing up liquid, cases of food poisoning went down considerably, at least that's what my mum told me. A rinse in hot water isn't anywhere near enough!

Pet hate is when someone comes over for a cuppa, then rinses their mug under the tap and placing it on the draining board - in my house! Yuck

I used to find cleaning completely overwhelming in the past, and ashamed to say I let my house get a bit out of hand.

I had reached a point where I just had to ask for help to get a deep clean and tidy up done. Then once that had occurred, I keep on top of things little by little so it doesn't get out of hand again.

Example of what I do:

Daily:

• All dishes washed and put away
• Kitchen counters/table all wiped down
• Coffee table in living room wiped down
• Bleach down toilet and quick scrub

Twice a week:

• Laundry load on
• Floors downstairs hoovered and mopped (usually a Weds and Sun)

Weekly:

• Wipe down of bathroom
• Wipe down of other rooms (furniture etc)
• Change bedsheets

Monthly:

• Deep clean of bathroom
• Clean skirting boards
• Hoover upstairs

Every 3 months:

• Deep clean of other rooms (pull out sofas, beds etc)
• Powerhose garden

If you break it down into tasks, it doesnt seem as overwhelming. Daily, to keep a house clean, it would only take around 10-15 mins per day. Not spotless, but tidy.

It's been hard for me the last couple of years because of ill health. Partner not helpful either and doesn't even clean up after himself unless I ask.. and I find it really stressful looking around the house at the mess. I do wash up etc daily though.
I do hit one room every few days, whenever am feeling ok enough. Like today, wasn't good this morning but felt fit enough at 7pm to clean the bathroom so that's been done.

Don't know if it helps, floravital is really gentle on the tummy, I can't take iron tablets for anaemia at all. It took about 3 months, from very low levels. to get back to healthy levels on that stuff. Good luck on your recovery and you know what? Don't worry about the house, forgive yourself, get better first.

It’s this sort of standard though applied across cleaning an entire family house that makes the cleaning completely unmanageable.

fair enough if you have the standards and time in your own house to be this fastidious. But many don’t, and it causes anxiety and feelings of guilt when they are then comparing themselves to you thinking that it’s normal for every other family to also be cleaning to this standard every day.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with rinsing a plate that’s had crisps on it and then using it for cake 😂.

Yes!

@ThisCyanPoet yes it does get easier when they go to secondary. Just make sure you get them to help! They can empty the dishwasher, clean and tidy their own rooms, make own packed lunches etc.

OP yanbu. I second the poster who reuses glasses to own drinks, uses the same mug all day etc. Welcome to a strong immune system (I've done stuff like this all my life and I very rarely have any illness).

I keep a cloth and spray in most rooms, just do a bit here and there when needed.

Right don't laugh but today I found a solution for me. I live in chaos place is a constant mess due to hoarding from everyone (except me) I'm constantly tired. Etc
So my first aim is to sort the bedroom which is also the loft space. I put photos onto chat gpt and it told me what to do. I now have one half of an amazing bedroom. And I can honestly see light at the end of the tunnel. I. Got distracted at one point and asked gpt to look something up for me, it asked if my bedside table was tidy yet 🤣

When you have health problems you have to lower your standards. Declutter when you gave the energy, it helps in the long run

You would think, wouldn’t you?! But they all started off well but then quickly deteriorated. Plus, it was a stress tidying for them and by the time the house was tidy it was easier to clean it myself.

No, I'm sorry, that's just gross. It really is. The only thing I'd just rinse is my own cup if I'm refilling it for cups of tea, or my own glass for refills of water.

But if I have a drink with a meal, then my mouth may be greasy or spicy and I don't want to drink from a dirty bit of cup later on, so anything I drink from while I'm eating goes straight in the dishwasher.

No, no-one would die from a plate that is just rinsed after a plate of crisps. But would I want to eat a piece of cake from it later? Christ, no. Just yuck.

Sounds like you’ve just had rubbish cleaners. If you book 3 hours say you expect 3 hours of work.

I think cleaners are just more trouble than they are worth unless you are very lucky and have a brilliant one. We never have and have tried with three different people 😩 it’s always just been a frantic race against the clock trying to get as much done in as little time as possible so as to be out of the door asap.

A timer works for me. If I want to clean, say, the bathroom I'll set a timer for 30mins, 45 if it's not been done for too long, then clean until the timer goes off.

I was spending hours cleaning the bathroom and kitchen - one weekend I spent six hours doing the kitchen - and there's no point, there's always something more you could do. A timer keeps it manageable and forces you to prioritise.

If you work FT you need a cleaner unless you’re on a low wage and absolutely can’t afford one.

Also - I never tolerated NHS iron tablets, I used these instead. They’re high strength but gentle.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/NaturesPlus-HemaPlex-Supplement-Vitamin-Support/dp/B0B984VYGK

I've got a book on my wish list called 'Tidying the Abyss: A Practical Guide to Cleaning and Organizing While Exhausted and Overwhelmed' (by Amanda Dodson). It's described as "a gentle, hands-on resource offering mental health-sensitive, disability-informed advice for those who do not have the privilege, bandwidth, or access to keep their home—and life—in a perfectly-ordered state." If you like reading, you might find it helpful.

One think I never do is come in from work or school run and sit down - that for me is fatal to getting anything done. I come in, knowing what I what to get done, and just get on and do it. I realise that can be easier said than done, but it does mean it's not to easy to procrastinate.

Yes!

i find that buying 8 stacking laundry baskets really helped me. One for each room for clean washing and multiple dotted about. At the end of every day we take our own basket to the right room and put it away and bring them back down with dirty washing in. I also have a basket for each bedroom, for the general clutter that accumulates. I put them on the stairs. The things that I find go into one basket and then I divide them on the stairs into the correct room. That goes on top of the laundry basket and to the rooms at the end of the day.

i bin everything that’s not needed. Every six months i go through cabinets and cupboards and I’m ruthless and get rid of anything that’s not been used since the last time.

i also have a daily list. Every list has 3 high priority, 3 medium and 3 low priority. I try to do 3 a day, cross out the ones I do. Then I carry the remainder over and add on however many I’ve managed to do. I don’t ever cancel one out. Within 10-14 days I find that I’ve done them all even if I do just the simple ones on a quick day. But I also tag team activities. If I’m running the bath, I’ll clean the loo and wipe the floor over while it’s filling. I keep the roll of bin bags in the bin with a clean liner fitted. So no digging for the new roll of bin bags ever. All clean bedding gets removed, washed and dried and the cover, sheets and pillow cases get put inside a matching case. So no digging for matching sets. Plant lights for my house plants are on automatic timers. I’ve got reminders set up on my phone for all watering, feeding, replanting etc. same for my fish tank feeding and maintenance. This also works for medication, drs apps, MOTs, gas boiler checks etc. if i send a parcel, i photograph the tracking at the post office counter.

I’ve got adhd and it’s hard and it’s taken me years to get to this point. Is far from perfect but my house runs relatively stress free.