To be absolutely fed up with a 'friend' in our group

I hope I'm wrong and she doesn't end up messaging others.

Thanks for the update OP. Sounds like you handled it in an authentic and honest manner. Susan hasn’t been left wondering why the groups gone quiet and perhaps will undertake some self reflection into group etiquette. Agree with previous comment about ensuring no one else can be added without group consent! Good luck getting the things back!

Message her saying your cars in for a service so you'll hop in with her coz she hasn't driven anytime so it's her turn. See what she says. If she say no then tell her she'll have to make her own way there then as all other car spaces are full. keep doing it until she gets the hint.

Really appreciate the update OP.
It has been an interesting discussion re how much we should have to labour to accommodate someone who appears not to do any self development work themselves.
As you say, this group was were you relax away from other responsibilities and this person was imposed on you all. Would like to be a fly on the wall observing a frank convo with the person who added them,lol.
I hope you have tweeked the admin so no one can add anyone else without group discussion.

Start a new group.
If you don’t see her outside of planning hikes it’s quite easy to distance yourself from her.

Well, this has certainly been suggested many times on here, and certainly refuted.
We've no way of knowing, other than to suggest that many autistic women mask well and are often anxious about following social cues. This person just seems very insensitive and self obsessed.

I once had an autistic female friend who behaved EXACTLY like this. Even when it was pointed out to her, she couldn't really grasp why it was wrong.

This lady is behaving in SUCH an odd way there probably is a reason behind it. She clearly wants to be in the friendship group but does not seem to have any idea of how to behave so that people want her there.

I wouldn't stay friends with her either, but its still a bit sad to see people implode their own lives like this.

Yes because everybody with a horrible personality who is a cheeky fucker is autistic.
Being autistic makes you feel entitled to people's time and energy for sure. I think they're putting it into the DSM vi.

I wonder if she is autistic?

did you get a response from Susan? I think you have dealt with it the best you could.

You didn’t ghost her, you didn’t call her out in the group chat but you did tell her which does take courage when you don’t like confrontation

Hind sight is a wonderful thing but nipping it in the bud earlier would have been much simpler but you always try to give people the benefit of the doubt (I do anyway). Hopefully this makes things a little more peaceful in the group.

also kind of feels like the person who invited her then ducked out did this knowing what they were doing 🤣🤣

I can understand your decision but am interested in how you explained it in your message to her and wether she responded in any way.

Yes, she's quite the operator.

Hats off to the original friend who palmed Susan off on all of you in the first place, I say

OP - you still have to face her when you collect the swimming stuff 🙈 Hope all goes well.

I voted YABU for not just calling her out whenever this happens. Pussyfooting around these types of people never works, they don't take hints. Just remove her from the group.

RTFT!

From what you describe it sounds like she is on the autism spectrum. If so her rudeness is not deliberate as such. It might help to do a rota of giving lifts to make sure she takes her turn. Maybe she's nervous, or maybe she's just tight or lazy, I don't know. It would be kinder to try to explain things to her and try to include her.

That cannot be the final update.

How did she take it?!

Start a new WhatsApp group and leave the old one! Life to short for her shit x

No, I'm autistic but I'm not rude.

Well done. Whilst it feels horrible it is kinder for her to know the truth. Though arguably it would have been better to have told her the truth earlier and given her a chance to try to rectify her behaviour.

Yeah, I’d advise people to block her both on WhatsApp and on social media.

I wonder will she reply. @FierceForester90 it’s so maddening in a group when 1 person behaves like this, it becomes such an infuriating niggle in your head

People like this have a wonderful way of twisting the facts

"I was part of a hiking group that I thought was a safe place for women to support each other. I asked for a bit of extra help after I was injured and was removed from the group without warning - and them PMd separately with a list of my alleged crimes. Like borrowing some swim stuff I hadn’t gotten around to returning yet" It would be very and flowery, and they'll always leave out little details like the borrowing was well over a year ago and it had been asked for back repeatedly

OP I hope she just slinks away quietly, but even if she does attack like this people on her Social media will know what she's like! It's best not in engage