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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be absolutely fed up with a 'friend' in our group

580 replies

FierceForester90 · 07/03/2026 15:21

This is long sorry, but needed for context.

I am friends with a group of wonderful ladies who have all known each other for 6 years now, We met through a shared love of hiking and try to go every couple of weekends and also have a couple of overnight trips through the year.

We have a Whatsapp group to plan stuff - a couple of years ago one of our friends brought her friend 'Susan' to a hike and invited her to the Whatsapp. Since then the original lady has stepped back from joining us, but Susan has remained with us.

She is unfortunately quite a rude and difficult lady. She can drive, but doesn't - a group of us car share but she never offers and assumes she can have a lift without asking.

In the earlier days she came on a weekend away, she borrowed kit from others that she has still not returned, did not drive or offer any fuel money, and insisted that two separate people in the group called her before the trip to go through the weekends plan in great detail (I was over an house on the phone). She talks non stop and often speaks over other people.

In more recent times she has asked one of the group for a lift to a hike, when the person she asked wasn't well enough to do it herself, suggesting that she 'stayed warm in the car' while she went out with others. Last week an outing was arranged an her response was 'I'll tag along with XXX" no please, no thank you, no 'do you mind?'

She demands photos are taken of her but never offers to return the favour. She has in the past messaged people away from the main group saying how disappointed she is if she sees anyone has been out without her.

Susan is currently injured, and yesterday a message went into the group chat about going out tomorrow. Her response was 'I'll come but I need a lift and help to get up and down things'. No please, no thank you, no w'would anyone be OK o help me'.

We are at a point where some people just won't post plans in the chat anymore because of her behaviour and lack of manners. I'd love to just remove her from the group but it feels mean.

AIBU to feel that her behaviour is awful and just be totally fed up with it?

OP posts:
Doggymummar · 07/03/2026 15:30

Catspace · 07/03/2026 15:29

See, this is why I binned off a load of people and don’t bother mixing anymore. There’s always one pain in the arse x

Agree it's too much hassle socialising

Catspace · 07/03/2026 15:29

See, this is why I binned off a load of people and don’t bother mixing anymore. There’s always one pain in the arse x

Jeschara · 07/03/2026 15:28

Don't just remove, if everyone feels the same, you need to speak go her about how she comes across.

If things don't improve maybe you will have to make plans without her.

SuperSange · 07/03/2026 15:27

I hit the wrong button! You’re not BU. She sounds like a cheeky fucker, and needs pulling up pronto. She only does it as you’re letting her.

Heronwatcher · 07/03/2026 15:27

Can you not start a separate group?

Or someone just put their big girl pants on and tell her that she’s being a CF in various different ways and everyone is getting sick of her?

Or those she asks for lifts just say “no sorry, that won’t work for me” and just not bring her?

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