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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be totally fed up with the sorry excuse that is the NHS?

109 replies

Carlie97 · 07/03/2026 13:41

I have gynaecology issues and I'm constantly bleeding heavy and leaky without a break as well as pain all the time.

I was told I had endometrial hyperplasia (abnormal cells - pre cancerous) last year and was due to have my six month check up last July to see if it's progressed. I heard nothing until I chased this and have an appointment for a hysteroscopy and biopsy in a few weeks time. They've outsourced this to a private company due to demand on the NHS but I've received my letter today and it says to take pain killers before the appointment as its going to be done without anaesthesia. This is an absolute nightmare as I've had it done without anaesthesia before and they had to stop because it was so painful. If they offer general, I think that's via a spinal which I can't have anyway. These are on my notes.

The coordination of my care has been an absolute shambles and my gynaes secretary is so unorganised, tells me thinks that aren't accurate which sends me round in a wild goose chase. She doesn't have a clue what she's doing. She also recently made it out like I wasn't going to attend my appointment as it's 50 miles away (where i used to live) and spoke to me like a child. As I'm bleeding non stop, suicidal (won't act on it) and severely anaemic, of course I'm going to attend! The gynae also tried to persuade me on the phone to have a mirena and take provera tablets. He obviously didn't see my notes that I've expelled two coils with flooding so much and I've told him numerous times that the tablets make me bleed even more.

They also scheduled me for iron infusion, months and months of me asking for this. I phoned the team who deal with this to query an appointment and they said I should never have been booked in with them as I'm out of area. They're still seeing me but what a fucking palaver!

I'm absolutely going to move my care to my new area when this is all done but in the meantime aibu to think this is unacceptable?

I'm sat here my heart beating so much every day because of the anaemia, I cry everyday, my mental health is on the floor and I'm honestly wishing each day that I go to bed and not wake up. I'm exhausted. I can't even go to A&E with the bleeding as friends have been and were sat in the waiting room for 27 hours waiting for a bed.

OP posts:
MollyMMM · 08/03/2026 09:11

I also want a more European style healthcare system. I am from another European country myself and I have never understood why people in the Uk are so proud of the NHS. I can only assume it’s because they have never really known anything else and are brought up with this idea that the NHS is amazing. Personally I have private health cover and hope I will never need a&e for anything.

SunnyRedSnail · 08/03/2026 09:06

WhynotJanet · 08/03/2026 08:15

I pay for Private Medical Insurance, can afford to pay for it but still don’t think we should get rid of the NHS or deliberately underfund it because there are millions of people who just won’t be able to afford to go private. Would hate for us to try and copy the American insurance model for healthcare.

But by paying for private healthcare you ARE essentially getting rid of the NHS.

Where do you think the doctors for your private healthcare come from? They're paid more money than the NHS so do private work "on the side" or only work in the private sector. They will be NHS trained.

Then the NHS have to outsource procedures to the private sector (at cost to the NHS) which again eats into the budget.

And not to mention the fact that the private sector have no A&E units, so if something goes wrong, then the patient is taking to NHS A&E to deal with it. They take the money but not the risk.

We do need to fight to keep the NHS but changes need to be made to keep it afloat.

It is massively complex, but a good starting point would be people taking responsibility for their own health and looking after themselves with a healthy diet and exercise.

Firtreefiona · 08/03/2026 08:57

WhynotJanet · 08/03/2026 08:15

I pay for Private Medical Insurance, can afford to pay for it but still don’t think we should get rid of the NHS or deliberately underfund it because there are millions of people who just won’t be able to afford to go private. Would hate for us to try and copy the American insurance model for healthcare.

How do you think those in Europe who don’t have jobs survive? Are they dying in the street? No. Private models do not simply mean the US model. There are plenty of highly successful, cheaper alternatives. See Europe. Do you think they wait for days in corridors In A&E to be seen there? No.

WhynotJanet · 08/03/2026 08:15

SunnyRedSnail · 07/03/2026 14:23

Sorry to disappoint you, but it already IS like this!

My FIL has something wrong with him and breathing difficulties, and the NHS were insisting on going through their check list step by step and ruling out anything else before scanning him. It was taking months and he was in pain and absolutely adamant it wasn't any of those things.

He paid for a private consultation, was seen the next week, given a scan that would have taken 6 to 9 months on the NHS, and they found a blockage that requires quite urgent surgery. The NHS now have him on the waiting list for surgery (he can afford to pay privately but the there is also a waiting list and would only make 2 weeks difference). Paying privately has prevented 6 to 9 months of pain.

So it's already a two tier system for those who can afford to pay.

The NHS is on its knees. Far too many over-paid middle management, drugs companies that are fleecing them for money, an obesity epidemic that is costing the NHS a fortune, and people who are abusing the system and clogging up appointments for no reason whatsoever just because they have health anxiety and think every little niggle is something wrong.

@Carlie97 that sounds absolutely awful! Personally I'd consider going private and somehow finding the money to pay for it. When you're paying, you don't get stuck in the system, and have people that actually listen to you.

I pay for Private Medical Insurance, can afford to pay for it but still don’t think we should get rid of the NHS or deliberately underfund it because there are millions of people who just won’t be able to afford to go private. Would hate for us to try and copy the American insurance model for healthcare.

Gingernaut · 07/03/2026 23:29

There are too few admin staff to coordinate care/grease the wheels between departments

Many of the consultants you see privately are taking time off from their NHS positions

There are too few specialised staff and far too many patients

A lot of the 'routine' care is now outsourced to private companies who will reject referrals if there is the slightest hint that the patients' condition is more complex than the referral guidelines

whiteumbrella · 07/03/2026 23:27

Yes please to paying a nominal fee (excluding children and those in receipt of benefits). So tired of hearing of friends or family being admitted to a bed in corridors, waiting >6 hours in A&E or getting dates for urgent appointments weeks later. How is this happening in a first world country!

Shitstix · 07/03/2026 23:23

WhynotJanet · 07/03/2026 14:13

Not great care, but what would you prefer? Do you think we should go to an insurance model? So you only get care if you can afford to pay? Most rational people would think the NHS needs better funding. Interested to know how tou
think this situation could be improved

This is the problem and why the NHS wont be fixed.

It's not NHS style or insurance/US system. There is a whole in-between that would work but so many Brits are happy paying a shitload of tax for the NHS to get 'free health care'.

I'm sorry you're going through this OP.

MsGreying · 07/03/2026 23:19

Women can have stayed sanctioned torture rather than respectful treatment?

Outrageous.
It'll be a man who decided that.

Firtreefiona · 07/03/2026 23:01

It’s the gratitude we’re supposed to have for such shite healthcare that pisses me off. Just give us proper healthcare like the rest of Europe!

Firtreefiona · 07/03/2026 22:53

WhynotJanet · 07/03/2026 14:13

Not great care, but what would you prefer? Do you think we should go to an insurance model? So you only get care if you can afford to pay? Most rational people would think the NHS needs better funding. Interested to know how tou
think this situation could be improved

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

it’s what they do all over Europe and their health systems actually work!

why can’t we have a functioning healthcare system? Are we not worth it? Is having the worst cancer outcomes in Europe (not just Western Europe anymore) acceptable to you?

The ‘sacred cow’ that is the NHS died about 50 years ago. Can we all just accept it and move on with a proper, functioning healthcare system?

TheClangyClunk · 07/03/2026 22:45

OP, it’s in the NICE guidelines that you get a choice of whether you have the procedure under a general anaesthetic. I had one recently where I was moved into private care because of the length of the waiting list and I asked for a general and got one.

HostaCentral · 07/03/2026 22:41

ColinOfficeTrolley · 07/03/2026 22:36

My amazing SIL works for the NHS in A&E as a Sister.

She is absolutely gutted the way things are now, but it isn't their fault. The people working there are working their absolute arses off.

I asked if she would ever moved to private and she said never on her life.

The people working there want it to be better, but they are so stretched. It's not the 'on the ground' staff who are causing the delays etc.

It's bugger than them.

What can be done?

Quite. Unfortunately, as a whole, productivity in the NHS continues to fall, despite record amounts of money and staff. It's a shit show. You can get grat care and expensive cutting edge drugs and surgery, but only if you lucky enough to end up in a competent department. Even within the same hospital you can have fantastic care or shite care, depending on who runs the department. Its ridiculous

ColinOfficeTrolley · 07/03/2026 22:37

*bigger

ColinOfficeTrolley · 07/03/2026 22:36

My amazing SIL works for the NHS in A&E as a Sister.

She is absolutely gutted the way things are now, but it isn't their fault. The people working there are working their absolute arses off.

I asked if she would ever moved to private and she said never on her life.

The people working there want it to be better, but they are so stretched. It's not the 'on the ground' staff who are causing the delays etc.

It's bugger than them.

What can be done?

KimuraTan · 07/03/2026 22:31

Unpopular post but I’d say to rescue what’s left of the NHS we need to introduce paying for prescriptions 65+. I wanted to get some fenofexadine recently and found it cheaper at Asda than anywhere else and a retired friend gloated he gets it for free. This is a wealthy pensioner btw. Introduce a system where the retired pay for their prescriptions- a system that is means tested: once you require x% of your pension you get it for a nominal annual amount. Like paying ££ nominal fee once you go over a median % of your income.

Everyone who asks to see a GP should pay £10-20 each quarter to see a medical professional. Make those who use public services pay more. Everyone can cope with £10-20 like that unless they have an exemption due to benefit reception.

HRTQueen · 07/03/2026 22:24

I’m really sorry you are going through this op and I really hope your treatment improves very soon.

you are right the NHS is simply not fit for purpose, it’s so poorly run not just underfunded and we need to let it go. Thankfully more and more people are realising this but sadly it’s often due to poor treatment they or loved ones have received. We should expect and deserve better but keep being fed nonsense about how great it is that it’s free at the point of service.

We can follow and should follow Germany and France both countries have a far superior healthcare systems

I work for the NHS and few colleagues now believe in the NHS we see how badly managed it is, we see that appalling waste of money.

Ten years ago we mostly felt differently and marched to save the NHS few would do that now I certainly wouldn’t

AgnesMcDoo · 07/03/2026 22:06

Keepingongoing · 07/03/2026 17:53

If the NHS doesn’t exist any more, who or what has provided for my best friend since December:
GP appointment, out of hours GP appointment, X ray, CT scan, MRI scan, another MRI scan, 3 or 4 appointments with consultants in Respiratory clinic, liver biopsy, overnight stay in hospital, PET scan, 3 appointments with consultants in Haemotology, 4 or 5 appointments with a consultant oncologist who is a specialist in his field, one round of chemo, many phone calls with specialist oncology nurses, 7 nights in hospital following her chemo, fortnightly GP consultations since early December re pain management. Many many blood tests including one very specialised…Drugs including the chemo and many others, all free of charge…aids delivered to her house, care needs assessments, carers 3 times a day since coming out of hospital, provided for up to 6 weeks free of charge.
??
She sure didn’t pay for it.

Like I said it’s luck if you can access treatment.

many can’t so a national health service just doesn’t exist for many

deepseaargyllfish · 07/03/2026 21:23

NHS is a complete omnishambles.

It was set up in a different universe to lance Mr Smith’s boil / deliver Mrs White’s baby. The cutting edge medication and technological advances in procedures weren’t on the horizon at its inception.

France and Spain also have poor people but they have an insurance system. They don’t have an NHS, yet they have better outcomes in league tables than we do. They manage.

its high time we threw in the towel with the NHS and admit the bleeding obvious.

Rachel Reeves admitting that poor students and their ridiculous, awful student loans are paying for the NHS was the final straw. These youngsters barely use it, and it won’t exist (I sincerely hope) when they need their hips replacing. It’s supposed to be paid for with general taxation but obviously that’s not true.

And it’s not even very good in terms of outcomes.

It has to end now, surely.

Badbadbunny · 07/03/2026 19:48

WhynotJanet · 07/03/2026 14:13

Not great care, but what would you prefer? Do you think we should go to an insurance model? So you only get care if you can afford to pay? Most rational people would think the NHS needs better funding. Interested to know how tou
think this situation could be improved

The NHS admin/management needs a massive kick up the backside. It's not lack of money that makes them make so many mistakes, it's incompetence. My DH was diagnosed with cancer 8 years ago, and it's all be a shambolic battle ever since to get the tests, treatments etc that he's needed. It all happens in the end, but by God, it's very hard working dealing with their incompetence. Every month, due to maintenance chemotherapy, he needs things in a specific order, i.e. blood test x days before issue of drugs, drug taking has to start on a specific day, infusion has to happen on a specific day y days after the blood test, etc.

Every sodding month, they get it wrong - appointments come through that are utterly bonkers, i.e. blood test after the date of issue of drugs, or infusion before the start of the monthly drugs cycle etc. That was bad enough on a 4 weekly cycle, as some staff clearly didn't understand the difference between 4 weeks and a month, but then the consultant changed it to a five weekly cycle and the staff clearly couldn't cope with the change and it all went to pot for several months with random appointments coming through, not just wrong by a few days, but wrong by up to a couple of weeks. That caused not only lots of "wasted" NHS admin time as he had to keep phoning various different people/depts to get them changed, (not easy as the depts don't talk to eachother), but also a fair few wasted appointments when the appointment letter arrived after the appointment date or where he literally couldn't contact anyone to cancel/change the appointment before it happened. He "could" have gone to such appointments but he knew they'd be a waste of time!

Even his first round of chemotherapy was a cock up - cancelled by phone on the morning of the first day, told him they'd call him back with a new appointment date, but days passed and he heard nothing from them. After over a week, he phoned, and the receptionist told him she'd pass the message on (she clearly didn't) as another week passed still nothing heard. He phoned another couple of times, and eventually got put through to the nurses in the treatment room (he insisted on speaking to someone and wouldn't be fobbed off) - the nurse giggled like a school girl and said "oops, you've been deleted from the system by accident" and it took another 2/3 weeks to get reinstated, so his life saving urgent chemo ended up delayed by 2 months!!

That's not lack of money, it's sheer and utter incompetence, and it's no surprise their staff are "busy" when a lot of it is putting right mistakes by others, repeat calls, repeat tests, etc.

BlueandWhitePorcelain · 07/03/2026 19:43

I had a hysteroscopy under general anaesthetic. After my experience of a HSG, I wouldn’t have contemplated the hysteroscopy, without a general anaesthetic!

Keepingongoing · 07/03/2026 19:34

Carlie97 · 07/03/2026 18:01

How is your friend now?

Thanks for asking @Carlie97 . She’s stable at the moment but chemo made her too ill to carry on, so it’s palliative care only now. She doesn’t have long.

I don’t want to imply that the NHS is absolutely fine, it’s clearly not and there are parts that are terribly under-resourced, including, I think, gynaecology. I’m sorry you’ve had such a difficult time. I was just pushing back a bit on the NHS doesn’t exist, NHS isn’t fit for purpose line. Because it’s hard to imagine that you’d ever get all that my friend has been given, in an insurance based system; and even if the cover was extremely generous, can you imagine managing a claim for a very complex illness such as my friend has, while facing a terminal diagnosis?

Ladypartsproblem · 07/03/2026 18:47

I’m so sorry you’re going through this OP. I can empathise as have been struggling with a gynae issue too. I spent Tuesday in A&E in absolute agony, told I was going to be admitted, spent a further 12 hours or so waiting for a bed during which time I pulled something in my back from being sat in an uncomfortable position for a long period of time. I ended up being kept on a chair overnight hit and given meds via IV then discharged as they had no idea how long a bed would be. I had some swabs taken during my A&E wait and when chasing the results today, found out that the doctor who took my swabs used the wrong swab stick so the sample is now invalid. I’m still in agony to the point where I’ve been unable to carry out any of my daily activities and no further forward. 😔 The majority of my family work in the NHS. The system is broken & I genuinely believe it’s the multi-agency framework that is the problem. There were more people than I could count on my fingers that were in A&E with alcohol induced mental health issues taking up a lot of space and resources. One man refused to pay for his own taxi home claiming he didn’t have funds after being sober enough to go home. He threatened to leave and call the police to drop him off home. The nurse told him the police can’t do that and he might get arrested. Whilst sat next to me he set his jumper alight to intimidate the staff and people around him into paying for his taxi all because the suggestion was him waiting in the atrium for patient transport at 9am and him walking 1mile from the town centre to his house. He said he wouldn’t wait on an uncomfortable seat in the atrium until the morning and would only leave when they could arrange a drop off to the door. He’d spent 17 hours in A&E due to alcohol overconsumption, had to wait to sober up and see the mental health team who had a 2 minute conversation with him in front of the rest of us then discharged him. He knew exactly how to play the system to get the taxi he wanted and even brazenly winked at the lady next to him (also in for alcohol related issues) saying watch this, I’ll get my taxi! Indeed he did get his taxi and from what I gather, his trips to the hospital for this reason are rather regular. He clearly needs long term help but the staff seem to be fighting fires.

Ilovegolf · 07/03/2026 18:30

The NHS is a cluster fuck. Of epic proportions. The sheer WASTE of money, whilst people go without or are delayed life saving/life changing treatment? It’s an absolute scandal. But no political party has the will to change it. So right now, in the UK? If you don’t have private health, expect…the bare minimum. At best.

HostaCentral · 07/03/2026 18:09

I had a recent hysteroscopy with just a local. I didn't even feel the local tbh, I think she sprayed something too. I must have been very lucky, but the whole thing was really easy, no pain, and I drove myself home. When we chatted about the procedure she said that 98% of women are fine with local, and that the department was very worried that women are being frightened into requesting generals. This means longer lists and longer waits. I got seen within a week!

Please. Please. I can see you tried once.and couldn't cope, which is awful, and adds to your anxiety for this time, and every women does and should have the right to ask for more sedation, but I just wanted to balance the narrative and say that it really can be painless if you are lucky.

Carlie97 · 07/03/2026 18:03

Greybeardy · 07/03/2026 18:01

if it's not an anaesthetist delivered service then there won't be GA or spinal as an option. Local in that case is usually into the cervix. It might be best to give them a call and clarify exactly what they offer (? is entonox an option too). If you're currently living 50 miles away from the place you're having it done (is that what you meant in your OP?) then having a day case GA or spinal procedure is very unlikely to be an option - it would need to be done either closer to home or as an overnight stay.

I asked the person who called me to schedule the appointment and he didn't have a clue. It's really making me worry.

OP posts:
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