To expect my dd to pay for her driving licence ?

I'm totally with you.

I'd be mortified if my parents put our family pet to sleep to pay for my driving lessons - what kind of fucked up lesson is that?

I mean, yes, if the dog is 16 and dying then that's different, but as you say, 5k can be a very minor operation and recovery. I think it's madness that so many people are advocating PTS in that situation - I can only hope that they don't actually own animals and are just on the wind up.

And it is just as normal up and down the country for some parents to pay for lessons and a first car and everything that goes with it. Just as it is also normal for some parents to pay for some of it but not all.
You do realise that people do things differently. It doesn't mean that it isnt normal.

It certainly doesnt infantise someone or make them look like a toddler just because someone is helping them out with the cost of something.

The only weird thing is you thinking that your way is the correct way.

Its honestly no wonder some people just crumble at the first sign of things going a bit sideways 😔 I genuinely think its a shame, they stand no chance of coping with normal life troubles and will probably lose a lot of friends along the way.

I would never “kill a healthy pet to fund my kids driving lessons” 🙄
A pet with a surprise £5k vet bill is not a healthy pet. PTS is a legitimate option when you have a pet that seriously ill or injured.

I honestly don’t know why you are bothering to reply either.

Is it beyond your comprehension that many people cannot afford driving lessons for themselves or their children! Many people literally earn enough to pay basic bills,not to fork out 100s on lessons etc.
Are you suggesting that unless people have thousands of spare £££ in their account they shouldn’t dare have the luxury of a beloved pet .
Do you have any idea what a pet contributes towards the positive mental health of many’poor’ people!
An adult should have the critical thinking skills to understand that the pet ,for now is the priority. No wonder there are so many shallow and entitled human beings around these days if this is how they have been brought up,thinking that theyare number one priority at all times!

Just because some random article lists loads of options, doesn't mean they're available to everyone in every part of the country.

But then you're someone who's admitted you would kill a healthy pet to fund your kids' driving lessons, so I'm not sure why I'm wasting my time responding to you in the first place.

The only thing the OP says the DD’s earnings are going to are savings for University. There is not a single mention of the DD’s earnings being spent on anything else or being disposable.

I never said that you did, but it also doesn't mean that you fund your childs' every want indefinitely. An 18 year old who doesn't even pay their own phone bill, let alone any rent or food costs can pay for their own bloody driving lessons.

You didn’t even read the article. It lists numerous options for families at all income levels. The only people who would not be eligible are those who have been mature enough to understand they can’t afford the luxury of a pet and so do not have to budget for vet bills.

No not all parents can afford these things but driving lessons for children are far more important than some of the luxury items that parents spend their money on. You don’t give up being a parent when your child is 18.

That's not what OP says at all - stop making things up.

She says she's saving for uni, yes, not that all her money is going towards that.

The DD’s income isn’t disposable, it’s all being saved towards university costs which are incredibly high.

The DD will still be able to learn. She'll just have to wait a bit or pay for it herself.

Honestly some of these replies are so dramatic 😂😂😂

Yes, options which are not available to everyone.

HTH.

So do you think parents who can't afford to spend hundreds of pounds on driving lessons are neglecting and failing their kids?

There are options.
https://moneyplusadvice.com/blog/tips-advice/unexpected-vet-bill/

Good for you - that doesn't make you any better than a parent who has struggled and who has had to make that choice.

You just sound unbearably smug.

The cost of living at home without bills hasn’t changed.

You’d have a point if we were discussing someone living independently trying to make ends meet and learn to drive, but if all of your income is disposable, it’s not too much of a hardship to dispose of some of it on driving lessons.

I’d keep my promise to my adult daughter before I’d pour money into a luxury item for myself that I cannot afford. Pets are a luxury. Driving is a necessary life skill that parents are responsible for their children learning.

Well most decent people don’t break promises to their children. We certainly haven’t.

The job market is a lot worse, the relative pay is much lower and the costs are much higher today than it was for earlier generations.

Exactly. What world do these people live in where everyone can always keep all their promises and nobody ever experiences financial struggles?

It really isn't serious - it's just normal life. Not everything can go the way we plan for it to go. Most 18 year olds should know that and shouldn't be resorting to telling their mum to "fuck off" over it

It's not an excuse - it's life. Sometimes shit happens and we can't always keep our promises.

Most vets won't accept payment plans as they're not licensed to do so.

If that is true that she really really can’t keep her promise, then that is why OP should be the one apologising and offering some sort of future repayment.