To expect my dd to pay for her driving licence ?

People aren't saying that. They're saying it's selfish to expect a pet to be put to sleep (when it can be treated) just to fund driving lessons.

Again, you do NOT know how much OP spent. You do NOT know the age of the pet or the treatment needed. It could be a very young animal and the treatment for something not that serious or life threatening.

As I said before, vet's fees are often ridiculously high. It cost us close to £2,000 just to have a cyst removed from a young healthy dog

Yep, id honestly wonder where I went wrong if my DC acted like this 😟

It was tongue in cheek… the DD should be grateful for everything her parents do for her. She shouldn’t be swearing at her mother. Ever.

So would it be ok if OP had to replace her boiler or her car meaning spoilt brat could not have lessons? Personally I would rather be without heating than my dog.

You may think I am too invested in my dog but it was MY choice to have him and MY job to look after him and give him the best life possible. I certainly would not be having him pts for a ridiculous reason

It is not selfish to not spend thousands preserving the life of a pet. They are not people. They have no concept of life and death.

Well another selfish entitled person. There are some horrible people here

@Prancingpickle

”You're meant to do everything for her you're her mother FGS!”

This is an insane take. My mother is not meant to do everything for me. Adults are supposed to be independent, unless absolute emergency. Which learning to drive, is not.

Yeah, it's really awful being a self-sufficient adult who doesn't depend on mummy and daddy to fund my every desire

Sucks to be you I guess

It's baffling isn't it? There are numerous posts on here saying OP must pay for everything as she's the mother, or that parenting doesn't stop when your child reaches 18, as if that somehow means that you have to pay for them forever.

I don't get it. I came from well-off parents but I was still expected to pay rent and fund my own choices - including my own car and lessons.

Serious question, why are so many parents happy to raise their kids as spoilt brats?

She didn't change her mind for fun though, she can't afford to pay anymore.

She shouldn’t be swearing at you.

Can you split the cost- half each and you pay for first test? The issue is you said you would then changed your mind.

My dc were both still in school when they did their lessons so we paid. But as they had part time jobs, they paid for their provisional licences and for the theory test. My dd is now also on a gap year, working lots of hours and earning a really good wage. As she is saving for uni, we aren't charging her rent or bills etc but she does have to pay for any work to her car and petrol etc. I also expect her to pay her insurance when it is due for renewal as we paid the first year and bought her car. In your case op, if you are struggling a bit financially and your dd has plenty of money, then I would totally expect her to at least contribute towards learning to drive.

I'm genuinely shocked that so many people would actually be okay with an animal being put to sleep just so they could have their driving lessons funded.

If my parents even suggested the dog/cat being put to sleep to pay for my driving lessons I would be heartbroken. If they went through with it, I'd likely never have forgiven them.

No, it shows she has no regard for life and would rather continue to enable her daughter to be a spoilt brat.

It shows that she has her priorities in order and doesn’t continue to funnel money into preserving the life of an animal ahead of her fiscal security

My mum paid for 10 lessons for my birthday since you have given her a lump sum already she can use that to pay for it

She's a working aged adult who needs to stop acting like a princess. Doing everything for your kids does not help them long term.

Ive had a bit of doubt recently over how ive brought my DC up, nothing major just school motivation type stuff and laziness. But some of these posts are making me realise Ive got the stuff i think will get them far in life anyway - kindness, compassion, understanding of others predicaments etc. bang on

Feel like waking them up and giving them a massive impromptu hug just for being awesome 😃

No doubt despite the fact she's saving for uni she'll still be expecting you to contribute once she's there.

You've given her a lump sum. She's working. She's living at home and not contributing to the household bills. She's just told you to fuck off, so despite having everything done for her, she doesn't respect you.

I'd be saying, welcome to the real world sweetheart. This is your lesson in learning how to budget.

You'd be upset if someone saved the life of their beloved pet over paying for your driving lessons?

That says a lot about you, and none of it good.

Are you the daughter? 😂

I'm not surprised she told you to fuck off! You've promised her yours pay for driving lessons and tests which could be £1000's and now you're telling her you aren't!
You're meant to do everything for her you're her mother FGS!