To expect my dd to pay for her driving licence ?

It depends where you are.
Here ( NW ) lessons are £35 ( 1 hour ) or £330 for 10.
That's for a manual car, automatic cars are more expensive.

She is an adult. Most of my friends with teenagers don't do any where near as much as you. Some of their teenagers have part time jobs, and would never dream of asking their parents for money-they pay for all their own stuff and some pay rent-this used to be the norm, but it is much harder for kids to get jobs now, so they can't all do this, but they definitely don't ask their parents to fund something non essential. Gen Z is less likely to be in a hurry to drive (according both to friends and many online articles) so unless she urgently needed to learn for a job, say, unless you're very rich I wouldn't worry about it.

My son has an apprenticeship, he works 4 days a week (college 1 day), he earns £315 take home pay a week.

He doesnt pay us rent
We pay his mobile contract
I pay the family unlimited 'spotify' that he is a member of, it would cost £10 a mth less if he wasnt)
We pay his Gym membership (this went from him playing in a football team cisting us £30 a mth, to him wanting to finish football to do gym work instead)
He gets lifted from work EVERY DAY amounting to 18miles per dgets plus he then gets lifts into town every week for his driving lesson, then WE hang around for an hour to bring him back home.

The only thing he pays for is the £40 driving lesson.

Im actually looking at this all written down & belive we pay for too many things for him ...

Back to drawing board and saving myself a bit of cash!!!

If you offered to pay it seems a bit rotten not to now.

I think if she’s been given money for her 18th and has a good job then it’s not unreasonable to expect her to pay something. If you mean the license and lessons then it will be pricey though. And it might take her longer to save for uni. It’s quite common for kids to be gifted a block of lessons, maybe 10, to start them off. But by no means do you ‘have’ to do it.

Well, OP. She's made the choice clear for you then. You can't be expecting to tell your parents to eff off whilst still in their house and they're doing everything.

She can pay for her licence herself. It's for her own good anyway.

Exactly!

Agree with a poster upthread who said it’s a weird way to teach independence when you have the funds. I know someone whose family is extremely wealthy (have a holiday home abroad!) yet her parents couldn’t even put their hands in their pockets to pay for a meal to celebrate her engagement - everyone paid for what they ordered. Tight, mean and unnecessary when you have the funds.

My parents didn't help pay for lessons, I still can't drive because its too expensive.

Honestly some parents are so shitty/tight for the sake of it

I’m not particularly close to my parents but they paid for my provisional license. It’s tight to make your kids pay for basic things like ID or the ability to start driving when you have the funds. It’s a weird way to try to teach her the value of money.

If my daughter told me to fuck off I’d stop paying everything for her

We paid for lessons for DD and DS, about £32 per hour I think. Both passed first time. They bought their own cars and pay for them except for insurance which we pay. DD in uni but commutes, DS college p/t and career job on other days. Both have worked since age 14. Don’t pay rent but both saving for mortgages so happy with that. Neither would dream of swearing at us, they get plenty of privilege but are expected to fund their own lifestyles as they choose, and life could get immeasurably tougher if they forget their good fortune. We live very remotely so our lives became a whole load easier once they were independent and we were happy to fund this step to jolly it along!

I think you need to up your budget. Lessons and sitting tests will be around £2500-£3000. First year insurance could be anywhere between £2500-£5000, then the cost of purchasing a car.

My son is almost 18 and is about to take his test in 2 weeks. He works full time and pays board. I reduced the board by about half (it's not a large amount, just a token) whilst he is learning to drive. I have also put many hours into private practice with him in his own car (honestly this has killed me off at times...but it has made a big difference in his confidence so I fake being calm(!!)). Other than that he has funded everything himself: his car, lessons, license, test fees. Plus he saves lots. I think your DD is being very unreasonable. If she works full time she can fund it and still save. If she works only part time then she can contribute half.

Not in the UK, two now adult children. We payed for both to get their licence. Daughter struggled, so on top of driving with dad she needed rather a lot of lesson. Son is a natural, hardly any lessons, passed the exam the first time. We think helping them to get their licence is part of their education, their schooling, their getting ready for the real world.

She should be helping round the house. That has nothing to do with money. That’s just about being a decent human being.

My DS (17) has a job(apprenticeship)and pays lodge ( £100 pm) which just covers his food. He's saving for a car and has booked and is paying for his own
Lessons. He also helps around house. My eldest is (24) also pays lodge (£250pm) paid for his car, lessons etc and is saving for his own home. Again also helps around house
The boys sort the recycling, bins etc.
They do their own laundry
They cook once a week.
And everyone after dinner helps tidy the kitchen, dishes etc. It teaches respect and independence

🎣 1/10 I think you've overdone it slightly! 🤣🤣🤣

Yep, life or death of a beloved pet counts for nothing if an entitled teen wants her driving licence/ lessons now and cant wait !!!

Reminds me of Violet Elizabeth Bott. Google her. Fictional character no one took seriously. Yet now these creatures actually exist. WTF. I want to step off this upside down world.....

Wow you truly are a horrible human being

Why oh why do people think it’s good parenting to do everything for their children instead of giving them a good grasp of the basic chores of a house and that people who are old enough and live there contribute? I know that’s not the question asked but am always astounded by this.

You re so right, paying for a spoiled brats driving lessons is much more important than the physical wellbeing of a family pet who you are fully responsible for the care of.

What a dick

That's right. What's it got to do with anyone else? Make your own decisions.

I paid for or 10 lessons for both my boys but they were both still in school! They funded the rest with money their gran left them and wages from part time jobs. However the cost was nothing like it is now. If she has a good wage then she should use her birthday money and her wages especially as it sounds like its fun money

You dont understand why someone would come on a parenting site to post something to do with parenting and want opinions on it?

Firsttimemum can't even begin to understand why you would post all this. Sort it out between yourselves like any other disagreement you have no doubt had.