Page 2 | To expect my dd to pay for her driving licence ?

Teacaketravesty · 08/03/2026 20:41

i thought you unreasonable because of the change of plan but then I read you just gave her 10k! I’d be disappointed in mine if they weren’t more gracious in this situation, and I think 3/4 is more than you should pay, imo.

I am teaching my 17yo myself and paying for 10 lessons and the insurance while he learns (his birthday present) and we went halves on his theory test and will go halves on the practical test. If he needs more professional lessons I will help pay but will expect him to use his savings (he has £500) towards them too. We both want him to pass asap. Idk if we’ll be able to insure him once he’s passed, we’ll cross that bridge then.

choccytime · 08/03/2026 20:29

YourShyLion · 08/03/2026 18:58

Completely unreasonable. It is your duty to pay for her license and lessons. We're far from well off but we paid for all three of our children with a lot of scrimping and saving.

Nonsense

bellhawk · 08/03/2026 20:25

Good you both apologised - it is nobody's fault that life is expensive lately. Your relationship will benefit from the support you give to your daughter while she is still young!

choccytime · 08/03/2026 20:25

RvLl · 07/03/2026 13:06

Most people pay for the lessons and the test, despite what the voting suggests. I paid for both my kids to learn to drive.

Well good for you how do you know what most people do have you done a survey

Kelly1969 · 08/03/2026 20:23

choccytime · 08/03/2026 20:20

Ha no way 😂

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Haha! That might cover the insurance (once she’s passed it rockets!)

Kelly1969 · 08/03/2026 20:21

mydogisthebest · 08/03/2026 20:06

I so wish there was still a laughing reaction. How is it a parents' duty to pay for a licence and lessons? What if the parents can't afford to pay for them?

If you really had to do a lot of scrimping and saving then, to be honest, I think you are fools

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Totally agree, what entitled brats some people are bringing up!
Its not an entitlement and every family is different.
i bought my daughters provisional licence and one lesson (for her 17th birthday!) but she paid the rest from her McDonald’s wage.
With charging no rent I don’t understand why OP or her daughter would think it’s normal practice to pay for everything.

choccytime · 08/03/2026 20:20

fruitbrewhaha · 07/03/2026 13:08

My dd is 16 and we are planning on paying for lessons, buy a car and first year of insurance. I’m budgeting on about £5k.

Ha no way 😂

Original poster

Firsttimemom3 · 08/03/2026 20:17

To answer your question about the lumps : it was 10 grands we gave her. We put money aside for her all her life and we have given it to her on 18th

OP posts:

Kelly1969 · 08/03/2026 20:16

If she’s got a good job she can pay for it all.
You’re not charging her rent so that’s very generous, so she has plenty of money to spare.

Original poster

Firsttimemom3 · 08/03/2026 20:15

Sorry for only coming back now ! We had a good chat and she profusely apologised and I have apologised for taking her by surprise with the change of plan. We are going to pay 3/4 of it - I hadn’t realised how expensive it was

OP posts:

mydogisthebest · 08/03/2026 20:06

YourShyLion · 08/03/2026 18:58

Completely unreasonable. It is your duty to pay for her license and lessons. We're far from well off but we paid for all three of our children with a lot of scrimping and saving.

I so wish there was still a laughing reaction. How is it a parents' duty to pay for a licence and lessons? What if the parents can't afford to pay for them?

If you really had to do a lot of scrimping and saving then, to be honest, I think you are fools

Oldwmn · 08/03/2026 20:03

Firsttimemom3 · 07/03/2026 13:13

We also help for uni too. We do everything for her, she doesn’t help around the house, we pay everything for her..I thought this, she could pay for. We just had an argument and she told me to fuck off so I’m quite upset.

That would permanently kill any idea of you paying for any of this if I were in your shoes. I'm afraid you have rather spoilt this little miss.

Figcherry · 08/03/2026 20:03

If my dc told me to fuck off I would and I’d take my money with me.

DearHorse · 08/03/2026 20:01

just finally got my license in my thirties. I wasn't able to learn when I was 18 due to lack of money and because my mum was not able to help me pay for it... she is very lucky you are able and willing to help her as much as you do, and should apologise to you

bellhawk · 08/03/2026 19:59

How much was the lump sum - did she spend it, thinking the driving lessons would also be covered?

What led to her telling you to fuck off? I can't picture that being the start of the conversation.

Justgorgeous · 08/03/2026 19:58

Firsttimemom3 · 07/03/2026 13:13

We also help for uni too. We do everything for her, she doesn’t help around the house, we pay everything for her..I thought this, she could pay for. We just had an argument and she told me to fuck off so I’m quite upset.

You are enabling her to be a spoilt brat.

Oldwmn · 08/03/2026 19:58

Firsttimemom3 · 07/03/2026 12:50

Did 18 years old is on her gap year. She has a good job well paid and saving for uni next year. We have given her a lump of money for her 18th, we do not charge her rent, we pay for food, phone and extras. We were meant to pay for her driving licence but we just had a massive vet bill, we are stretched. Am I unreasonable to expect her to pay her driving licence ?

No

HarrietHedgehog · 08/03/2026 19:54

I’m afraid you’re being unreasonable. I realise that you’ve already been very generous but you promised something and now you’re going back on your promise.

MeridianB · 08/03/2026 19:27

She told you you to fuck off? Great. Now she can suck up a lesson in basic respect and good manners…by discovering that ungrateful, entitled, sweary people don’t get driving lessons/test/car/insurance paid for.

And while you’re at it. Stop paying for her phone until she contributes to keeping the home clean and tidy.

travelallthetime · 08/03/2026 19:15

I can’t believe anyone thinks you are unreasonable. Your circumstances have changed and you can’t afford it, you’re already propping her up, she works and she speaks to you like shit. I wouldn’t pay either, she needs to learn

August1980 · 08/03/2026 19:12

Mum and dad paid for mine and I intend to pay for my little girl.

TeenLifeMum · 08/03/2026 19:10

Firsttimemom3 · 07/03/2026 13:13

We also help for uni too. We do everything for her, she doesn’t help around the house, we pay everything for her..I thought this, she could pay for. We just had an argument and she told me to fuck off so I’m quite upset.

I have an 18 year old and initially said we’d pay for 10 lessons… but she doesn’t get paid well in her part time job and is saving for uni so making her pay just meant we’ll have to support more at uni in September. We ended up paying for it all. I wish we’d said she had to pay half the insurance but we covered that too without thinking.

that said, if she’d told me to fuck off i would do exactly that and she would be paying for the lot.

YourJoyousDenimExpert · 08/03/2026 19:03

I was going to say that you could offer the option of paying herself now or waiting until your finances have recovered a bit. Then I saw she had sworn at you which would make me tempted to put the offer on hold anyway until her attitude has improved and matured enough to drive …..

OneNewLeader · 08/03/2026 19:03

It’s a matter of what you can afford. Don’t feel guilty.

YourShyLion · 08/03/2026 18:58

Completely unreasonable. It is your duty to pay for her license and lessons. We're far from well off but we paid for all three of our children with a lot of scrimping and saving.