To expect my dd to pay for her driving licence ?

It really depends on what is wrong with the animal. Years ago people had pets and if they were very ill then they died. This might sound cruel to some people but actually in a lot of cases it was much kinder. Animals live for the day. You can’t sit them down and tell them that while they are going through a lot of pain, they will be OK in the long run. Keeping an animal alive for your own sake is bordering on abuse.

She can. But when? She can’t afford it now. Presumably she wants to go to university so she is unlikely to be able to afford to then either. Then she will need to look for a graduate job - in 5 years time when the pet is dead anyway and the daughter has limited opportunities for employment because of her lack of driving license it will be an issue.

This is obviously slightly dependent on where you live but I have a friend who at 33 is still suffering from not having learnt to drive as a teenager. We live rurally so job opportunities are limited as is public transport - he has never been able to earn enough to pay for lessons and can’t get a better job because he can’t drive. It is a vicious circle.

No. It is much easier to learn when you are young.

Afaik the DD can learn to drive anytime, so its not as if her future is going to be ruined by this, lets not be too dramatic about it 😂

It really depends on what is wrong with the animal. Years ago people had pets and if they were very ill then they died. This might sound cruel to some people but actually in a lot of cases it was much kinder. Animals live for the day. You can’t sit them down and tell them that while they are going through a lot of pain, they will be OK in the long run. Keeping an animal alive for your own sake is bordering on abuse.

It really depends on what is wrong with the animal. Years ago people had pets and if they were very ill then they died. This might sound cruel to some people but actually in a lot of cases it was much kinder. Animals live for the day. You can’t sit them down and tell them that while they are going through a lot of pain, they will be OK in the long run. Keeping an animal alive for your own sake is bordering on abuse.

I just think the daughter’s future, which the OP is currently compromising, is more important than whatever animal she has chosen to spend an excessive amount of money on

Afaik the DD can learn to drive anytime, so its not as if her future is going to be ruined by this, lets not be too dramatic about it 😂

I just think the daughter’s future, which the OP is currently compromising, is more important than whatever animal she has chosen to spend an excessive amount of money on

Well it depends doesn’t it - is the daughter a pet person? How old is the pet? Is it needlessly being kept alive beyond reasonably duration? Is the OP spending a stupid sum on it? Someone I know has dropped £13.5k and counting on surgery for her dog. It’s just not sensible and I would be really cross if someone couldn’t facilitate something important for me that they had promised because they had chosen to spend an insane amount on a pet.

Id be pretty ashamed of my DC if they expected me to just let a pet die or be very ill in this situation 😔

I just think the daughter’s future, which the OP is currently compromising, is more important than whatever animal she has chosen to spend an excessive amount of money on

Id be pretty ashamed of my DC if they expected me to just let a pet die or be very ill in this situation 😔

Why are you making excuses for the daughter? Her parents obviously are pet people and it is THEIR money and they can spend it how they like.

The fact that you would be cross if someone could do not something for you that they had promised because they felt their pet took priority to me shows you are as entitled as the daughter

Especially for the sake of vets fees! Not exactly a stretch to feel like the OP is prioritising the dog/cat/rabbit over her. She shouldn’t have told her to fuck off but she is understandably disappointed

Well it depends doesn’t it - is the daughter a pet person? How old is the pet? Is it needlessly being kept alive beyond reasonably duration? Is the OP spending a stupid sum on it? Someone I know has dropped £13.5k and counting on surgery for her dog. It’s just not sensible and I would be really cross if someone couldn’t facilitate something important for me that they had promised because they had chosen to spend an insane amount on a pet.

Precisely.

Lots of parents literally have nothing left to save each month. Telling them their kids will want to learn to drive at 17 makes absolutely no difference to that!

Especially for the sake of vets fees! Not exactly a stretch to feel like the OP is prioritising the dog/cat/rabbit over her. She shouldn’t have told her to fuck off but she is understandably disappointed

We also help for uni too. We do everything for her, she doesn’t help around the house, we pay everything for her..I thought this, she could pay for. We just had an argument and she told me to fuck off so I’m quite upset.

I mean, I would have hoped my parents valued my pets' life over my driving lessons at 17, but maybe that's just me

DS got a grant for all his lessons and his test. It was perfect due to the cost.

Can you comprehend that many parents struggle to pay basic bills and that they do not have the financial resources to pay for lessons etc however far ahead they anticipate this?
We paid for our children but I have enough self awareness to comprehend that many people ,including friends and colleagues cannot afford to fork out 100s on lessons,car,insurance etc!