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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think there will never truly be a sisterhood because too many women are still competing for male attention?

61 replies

WaryLilacOtter · 07/03/2026 11:34

I keep hearing about “the sisterhood” and how we’re all meant to uplift each other but I don’t really see it in action. The reality (at least in my experience) is that a lot of women are still operating from a place of scarcity, whether it’s about beauty, desirability or male validation.
It plays out in subtle ways too: side-eyes, comparisons, lack of support, even tearing each other down.

AIBU to think this competitive dynamic, especially when it comes to the male gaze, is what’s holding us back from truly building solidarity?

OP posts:
IsItBeesThoughLooshkin · 07/03/2026 11:48

I don’t agree. I think women as a whole are much nicer and more supportive of each other than men are.

Original poster
WaryLilacOtter · 07/03/2026 11:47

Coffeetimes3 · 07/03/2026 11:42

I find this a bit ironic actually. You are calling for sisterhood while perpetuating harmful stereotypes of women being in competition with each other and desperate for male attention. If you want to see more sisterhood perhaps be the change you want to see?

I see what you mean but I wasn’t trying to stereotype women so much as point out a dynamic that I think still exists in some spaces. My point was that the idea of “sisterhood” is often talked about aspirationally, but in practice there can still be competition and insecurity that gets in the way of it. I’d actually like to see more solidarity between women, that’s why I raised the question.

OP posts:
BlueJuniper94 · 07/03/2026 11:47

Yes. Obviously. We are ultimately human beings and a certain nature appears to go along with that. No matter how we rail against it.

Thepeopleversuswork · 07/03/2026 11:45

Younger women will always to some degree compete for the attention of the men they want to mate with/marry. That’s hard-wired biology. The most principled are able to rationally decouple their actions from their biology and put the needs of women first, most wont.

Once you get past childbearing it becomes much clearer. Any woman who has raised children, has worked for any length of time and particularly any who have done both will rapidly learn how the odds are stacked against us and realise we need to stick together. The scales fall from our eyes.

A younger woman who eschews feminism is just young and yet to learn. An older one who eschews feminism is either an idiot or weak.

Coffeetimes3 · 07/03/2026 11:42

I find this a bit ironic actually. You are calling for sisterhood while perpetuating harmful stereotypes of women being in competition with each other and desperate for male attention. If you want to see more sisterhood perhaps be the change you want to see?

dairydebris · 07/03/2026 11:41

Women are humans and compete for resources and status in different ways to men. But still humans.

5MinuteArgument · 07/03/2026 11:41

Tontostitis · 07/03/2026 11:36

Anyone using the terms sisterhood or be kind us usually practicing and doing the opposite in my experience.

Yes, in my experience women can be really vicious - to other women. Sisterhood? Don't think so. It's like the 'be kind' brigade can be really vile.

SpanielsAreNutty · 07/03/2026 11:40

You seem to have a lot of interalised misogyny, OP.

Women are human, just as men are. We are not an amorphous "sisterhood" mass.

igelkott2026 · 07/03/2026 11:39

I think they're competing for female attention too. All the competition, best behaved/cleverest/best at sports children. Best car, Best house, Best holidays. Compulsory status symbol dog.

Nothing to do with men in my view.

SleeplessInWherever · 07/03/2026 11:38

I think that implies women are one single unit who have to always agree with each other and support everything other women do, which is just not realistic.

Tontostitis · 07/03/2026 11:36

Anyone using the terms sisterhood or be kind us usually practicing and doing the opposite in my experience.