Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

BBQ etiquette

91 replies

BBQetiquette · 07/03/2026 09:58

Aibu to think that if someone invites you to a BBQ and says you don't need to take anything, that you still take something? It's the family of my son's sports team that are hosting a BBQ. He's only recently joined and I don't know many people. It must be costing then a fortune. Surely I can't actually turn up with nothing? Husband thinks they've said take nothing so it would be rude to take something. Help me not make a social faux pas 🙈

YABU - the host said take nothing so take nothing
YANBU - you should take something

OP posts:
Needspaceforlego · 07/03/2026 10:20

I'd take whatever you are drinking and a gift for the host.

Unfenced · 07/03/2026 10:18

As long as it’s something they don’t have to find a vase for, refrigerate, plate up or anything. Something they can say ‘Oh, thanks!’ for and just put down. (Ie, if flowers, already in water. If a cake, already cut into slices etc).

Fidgety31 · 07/03/2026 10:15

I wouldn’t take wine as they might not drink it. Wine can be quite a personal taste .

I would take something like a bunch of flowers as a thank you.

AddictedToTea · 07/03/2026 10:13

If I host a BBQ, I always say don’t bring anything. I fully cater for meat/bread/salads and hate having left over burgers in the fridge for weeks when people ignore me! If pressed for a contribution I always say a sharing bag of crisps or something sweet. Drinks are always appreciated too but absolutely not expected.

susiedaisy1912 · 07/03/2026 10:13

WateringCans · 07/03/2026 10:03

Take them a gift to say thank you for hosting, but not food for the bbq. If they drink, nice bottle of wine, if they don’t drink - chocolates. Also a bunch of flowers - (preferably already in water so they can just leave on the side and don’t have to faff around with vases while trying to host, but that might just be me !).

Agree

itsthetea · 07/03/2026 10:10

You don’t NEED to

but you CAN if you want to

if double check there isn’t any salads or deserts I could bring to help and if they repeat no need then a bottle of wine or flowers or something

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 07/03/2026 10:10

Agree with the above comments. You need to take a thank you gift or something that can be shared but won’t tread on the hosts’ toes in terms of catering.

HoppingPavlova · 07/03/2026 10:08

Yep, host gift. Wine, choc’s, fancy biscuits etc.

Bitzee · 07/03/2026 10:06

Bring nothing means don’t bring anything for the bbq. It doesn’t mean you skip a host gift. Wine, flowers or chocolates would be perfect.

Coffeetimes3 · 07/03/2026 10:05

Agree with everyone else. Don't overrule them and bring actual food, but a thank you gift should be appreciated.

MrsCarmelaSoprano · 07/03/2026 10:03

Something like wine, flowers, chocolates.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 07/03/2026 10:03

I would take some wine, and if they are going all out and making a lot of effort, perhaps a gift for the host(ess) like chocolates.

KnewYearKnewMe · 07/03/2026 10:03

how old is your son?

if he’s a junior, it could be the done thing just to turn up.

WateringCans · 07/03/2026 10:03

Take them a gift to say thank you for hosting, but not food for the bbq. If they drink, nice bottle of wine, if they don’t drink - chocolates. Also a bunch of flowers - (preferably already in water so they can just leave on the side and don’t have to faff around with vases while trying to host, but that might just be me !).

Gwenhwyfar · 07/03/2026 10:01

Take a drink? Something not BBQ food like some chocolates?

Shoxfordian · 07/03/2026 09:59

Definitely take some wine at least