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AIBU?

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Original poster

BBQ etiquette

91 replies

BBQetiquette · 07/03/2026 09:58

Aibu to think that if someone invites you to a BBQ and says you don't need to take anything, that you still take something? It's the family of my son's sports team that are hosting a BBQ. He's only recently joined and I don't know many people. It must be costing then a fortune. Surely I can't actually turn up with nothing? Husband thinks they've said take nothing so it would be rude to take something. Help me not make a social faux pas 🙈

YABU - the host said take nothing so take nothing
YANBU - you should take something

OP posts:
SpringIsSpringing2026 · 07/03/2026 22:20

OhBettyCalmDown · 07/03/2026 22:08

I find this really odd. If I tell people not to bring anything I literally mean don’t bring anything. I don’t mean don’t bring food but bring me a gift instead.

My friends and family have spent years not taking things to each other because the host is usually the one to take care of everything. On occasions where one of us does want help we’ll literally say, can you pick up a desert, a bottle of wine etc….

Same here! Family & friends, we'd all think you were 'cracked' if you brought a 'host gift' 🤣

SparkyBlue · 07/03/2026 22:18

DailyEnergyCrisis · 07/03/2026 20:41

Oh course you should take something. You 100% can’t turn up empty handed unless you’re a serious CF.

Absolutely this. Surely to god you’d never turn up to someone’s house where you are being fed and come empty handed. You’d always bring a gift even if it was a packet of biscuits at the very least. OP I’d bring a couple of bottles of wine or some beer or even some soft drinks.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 07/03/2026 22:10

I agree something for the host. And maybe something to drink as well.

I think “don’t bring anything” means don’t bring any food. It doesn’t mean you can’t bring a gift.

OhBettyCalmDown · 07/03/2026 22:08

I find this really odd. If I tell people not to bring anything I literally mean don’t bring anything. I don’t mean don’t bring food but bring me a gift instead.

My friends and family have spent years not taking things to each other because the host is usually the one to take care of everything. On occasions where one of us does want help we’ll literally say, can you pick up a desert, a bottle of wine etc….

PurpleThistle7 · 07/03/2026 21:57

Just agreeing with everyone - hostess gifts only. They might actually be catering for allergies so don’t want extra food around so wouldn’t risk a cake etc if not asked for. I’d do a bottle of wine (they can always regift) and posh chocolates (same)

DameOfThrones · 07/03/2026 21:54

Take some drinks, doesn't even have to be alcohol but I'm sure they'll come in handy.

TiredMummma · 07/03/2026 21:52

You bring a bottle of wine

HappyMum123456 · 07/03/2026 21:49

We host a lot and have BBQs all year round. We always say not to bring anything, but most people bring whatever they are drinking plus a bottle of wine or flowers and sometimes posh crisps or sweets for the kids. One friend brings a tin of homemade cupcakes to share, which is lovely. I agree with others that bringing BBQ food isn’t helpful, unless someone has an allergy or preference that we wouldn’t normally have. It’s very unusual for someone to turn up empty handed. I would definitely suggest taking whatever you’d like to drink plus a small gift.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 07/03/2026 20:48

Don’t take food for the bbq- it creates pressure on them to cook/serve it.

But agree with other - a bottle of drink/chocolates sort of thing would be nice

DevonMum123 · 07/03/2026 20:47

I would bring box of chocolates and wine.
Not food for BBQ only thank you gift for hosting us.

OneBreezyHelper · 07/03/2026 20:42

Treat it like a normal diner invitation, you never turn up empty handed, how rude.

Agree with all the above, bring a thank you gift, not BBQ food.

DailyEnergyCrisis · 07/03/2026 20:41

Oh course you should take something. You 100% can’t turn up empty handed unless you’re a serious CF.

Gloriousgardener11 · 07/03/2026 20:41

I’d take some wine, beer and soft drinks and some flowers for the host.
Are they really having a BBQ in March?

Aislyn · 07/03/2026 20:38

I think it is typically English to say this, but actually a bottle of wine/other gift for the host is welcome. Make sure it's not something perishable.

JustGiveMeReason · 07/03/2026 20:37

As others have said, if they have specifically said not to bring anything then don't turn up with food - they will have catered for the numbers that are coming.

However, for any occasion like that, I would assume you take wine / beer for the table (and potentially some pop if all the youngsters are attending).

Dery · 07/03/2026 20:23

You’re right: i would take that to mean that you don’t need to bring food for the barbecue but you should take drink or chocolates or similar.

catmothertes1 · 07/03/2026 20:16

As others have said,do not bring food as they've already planned what/when to cook and they don't want some random stuff to deal with. However,I would bring some wine and chocolates as a thank you for the invite gift.

WiddlinDiddlin · 07/03/2026 20:07

Take a gift for them or something that can be shared but that does NOT require fridge/counter space. So wine, soft drinks, posh crisps, chocs, all good. Salads and burgers, baaaad.

Vodka1 · 07/03/2026 20:03

I wouldnt take flowers to people i don't know

I would however take an extra bottle of whatever I was drinking for them and avoid taking any food

Take some beers or wine and see what everyone else does, as its your first time there

ByUniqueViper · 07/03/2026 20:00

Id take something to show you appreciate the invite. Such aa chocolates, flowers, bottle of wine x

Ineffable23 · 07/03/2026 19:50

I'd take some wine or a few beers probably.

Whoinvented · 07/03/2026 19:50

youre correct they means they’re providing the main stuff but you need to take wine, beer , thank you flowers / chocolate

1HappyTraveller · 07/03/2026 19:49

Take a gift for the host, not necessarily something for the table.

vincettenoir · 07/03/2026 19:47

I agree with pps to bring a gift for the host. But as they have said not to bring anything it would be no biggie if you didn’t.

tombombaclot · 07/03/2026 19:40

Definitely a gift/s! Wine, posh crisps, chocolates, crate of beer/soft drinks etc :)