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Original poster

BBQ etiquette

91 replies

BBQetiquette · 07/03/2026 09:58

Aibu to think that if someone invites you to a BBQ and says you don't need to take anything, that you still take something? It's the family of my son's sports team that are hosting a BBQ. He's only recently joined and I don't know many people. It must be costing then a fortune. Surely I can't actually turn up with nothing? Husband thinks they've said take nothing so it would be rude to take something. Help me not make a social faux pas 🙈

YABU - the host said take nothing so take nothing
YANBU - you should take something

OP posts:
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DaisyChain505 · 10/03/2026 19:44

I wouldn’t bring along something like meat or burger buns but I’d definitely bring wine/beers and some flowers or a candle etc to say thanks.

PensionedCruiser · 10/03/2026 19:42

If the host says to bring nothing, that means that they don't need anything for the occasion - in this case, a BBQ. But - and a very big but - politeness /manners says that you should always take a host present. Maybe wine/chocolate/flowers/biscuits, preferably wrapped or in a gift bag. This always applies, even if you are bringing a contribution to the occasion.

tombombaclot · 09/03/2026 21:05

Iloveanicegarden · 09/03/2026 19:14

Sorry, but what's a posh crisp? Is it an unusual flavour combo but comes from Lidl, or an expensive bag of a regular flavour?

Show quote history

For me any posh crisp comes in a bigger bag than normal 😂 could be Asda or M&S. Unusual flavour, ridged, whatever. I like the Co-Op ones, Chardonnay vinegar & some kind of fancy salt I think

Restlessdreams1994 · 09/03/2026 20:35

You take a gift for the host like flowers or chocolates. You don’t take food to be eaten at the barbecue.

Lurkingonmn · 09/03/2026 20:19

If I say no need to bring anything I mean it. I don't need flowers, wine/chocolates I don't like etc. I'd rather people didn't waste their money honestly. But if they did bring something, I would obviously be gracious and thank them. But flowers might mean needing to look for a vase when they are busy. Chocolates/wine could be kept for later or shared so nice idea.

PistachioTiramisu · 09/03/2026 19:20

Why does nobody say barbecue any more - it's always the horrible BBQ.

Ilovecheeseyah · 09/03/2026 19:18

A thoughtful token gift is always appreciated plus a handwritten thank you note will ensure a classy stance.

Iloveanicegarden · 09/03/2026 19:14

tombombaclot · 07/03/2026 19:40

Definitely a gift/s! Wine, posh crisps, chocolates, crate of beer/soft drinks etc :)

Sorry, but what's a posh crisp? Is it an unusual flavour combo but comes from Lidl, or an expensive bag of a regular flavour?

Ozmumofboys3 · 09/03/2026 05:54

I’d take some chocs or wine for the host, and my own alcohol if I was intending to drink. Taking something for the bbq might actually create more work for the host.

Sophabulous · 09/03/2026 04:22

Yes, in this instance I’d take a token thank you for hosting rather than contribute a food item if they’ve said it’s not required. Chocolate, flowers, wine/beers, posh biscuits! Nice treats that can be used on the day if the host chooses, but could also be put away for them to enjoy another time.

My ex’s friends held an annual bbq and supplied all food and drinks, catered to everyone. Very kind of them and always insisted no need to bring anything but I always gave a token gift for hosting which was gratefully received 🙂

Fends · 08/03/2026 23:36

Pmsl at the bottle of olive oil. Please do that OP

Wooky073 · 08/03/2026 23:32

In britain its common to say not to bring anything to let it be known that there is no expectation vs please bring some meat or drinks. But that doesnt mean you should turn up empty handed which could be viewed as rude. These are just social norms.

MemorableLlama · 08/03/2026 23:03

When they say you don’t need to take anything, they mean they have the food all catered. So no need to bring sausages or anything.

But as a polite guest, you still take a gift for the host. The same as you would if they were hosting a dinner party.
So you take a bottle of wine and/or flowers and chocolates.

TheAquaTraybake · 08/03/2026 19:11

(also, we're all saying wine because we assume the person could make use of it, either for themselves, or they can give it away/ serve someone else. Obviously I assume OP knows this person and can adjust the suggestion accordingly)

TheAquaTraybake · 08/03/2026 19:10

Bottle(s) of wine, Prosecco, whatever. One more than whatever you're planning on opening for yourself. Also maybe some crisps or something else in a packet that doesn't need to be prepared. Maybe chocolates.

Don't bring flowers unless they're already trimmed and displayed. imo. Don't bring anything they need to 'do something' with at the time.

TittyGajillions · 08/03/2026 19:09

Not everyone wants a bottle of sodding wine ffs.

BiscoffCheesecakes · 08/03/2026 19:02

I've heard it's quite bad etiquette to bring flowers as unless they're already in a vase, the host has to stop what theyre doing to trim the flowers & find a vase there & then

Blankscreen · 08/03/2026 18:09

I would take a bottle of nice fizz, bunch of flowers and a sweet treat of some description.

vickylou78 · 08/03/2026 18:05

Take some wine and a bottle of coke or something

ginasevern · 08/03/2026 18:01

Don't take anything for the BBQ. They will have planned all the food and will feel embarrassed if they don't cook your random packet of pork chops, or whatever. I also think flowers are a pain because you've got to find a vase and arrange them whilst you're trying to deal with cooking/guests/kids. Wine or chocolates are the best bet.

BiscoffCheesecakes · 08/03/2026 17:54

Don't bring anything for the actual bbq. I'd bring a bottle of wine plus a bottle of a soft drink that my ds likes so he can easily help himself

AgnesMcDoo · 08/03/2026 17:47

Wine and flowers

PonyPatter44 · 08/03/2026 17:40

Wine and flowers or nice chocs is fine. Its a bbq, not a formal dinner party, so don't overthink it all, just go and have fun!

It is definitely NOT bbq weather in my part of the country, so i am jealous of those who live where it's possible.

Dery · 08/03/2026 17:28

@OhBettyCalmDown

“Im not saying OP shouldn’t take one. It’s just as a host I wouldn’t want 5 bottles of wine, 2-3 boxes of chocolates and more flowers than I have vases for.”

There’s the difference between us - I’m greedy and wouldn’t mind ending up with 5 bottles of wine and 3 boxes of chocolates!

TulipsAndPancakes · 08/03/2026 17:26

I would take 2 bottles of fizz

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