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AIBU?

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Original poster

Body image issues in your 40’s

55 replies

Leopardkilt · 07/03/2026 07:51

I’ve always had a degree of body image issues as a 90’s kid, grew up with mum doing Rosemary Connolly all the time. I went to an all girls school which didn’t help any of us with body confidence! I was quite overweight after I had kids and I’m now the top end of the healthy range.

I used to buy all the usual girls magazines back in the day (Heat mag) when they were awfully body shaming celebs and I look back on that in horror now as I thought they looked gorgeous but I still bought the magazine!

The toxic diet culture did get to me however I think when it was just celebs that were ‘body goals’ it seemed easier to feel like a ‘normal’ person in the real world.

I don’t know if it’s my algorithms so my own fault, or what it is happening, but I feel absolutely spammed by weight loss and fitness content absolutely everywhere in the past 6 months. Loads of my targetted ads are for juniper weight loss meds despite me never clicking on it or shopping there (GLP1).

Diet and exercise is also all everyone seems to talk about at work. If you buy a box of cakes in for your birthday they will now go uneaten as everyone is on a diet and people will just ask ‘did you lose weight? You are looking slim’

We booked a holiday this year and for the past few weeks I keep looking at myself and thinking I really don’t like my stomach area, shall I lose more weight? Can I get abs? Then I don’t lose any weight or get abs, and I feel miserable about it. And think all day ‘I shouldn’t really eat that’. Then I started seeing loads of tummy tuck content in my feed and said to my husband do you think I should get a tummy tuck?

I am 45, I’ve never felt under so much societal pressure to reach an unobtainable goal of being slim, but toned and strong. I went through a phase of a few months of adding ++hours of exercise to my full time working week as a parent and had a bit of a burnout through exhaustion and pressure so I have toned it down.

Trying really hard not to repeat the cycle with our own kids about body image either as I know it’s damaging.

Not really AIBU but are other women feeling under this pressure too? It’s so hard to describe but it feels like I’m 13 again at an l girls school and not doing enough

I am not using social media for a while to try to have a break

While I am actually really happy that there have been a lot of medical breakthroughs with new drugs and we understand our bodies better, with this comes a social narrative that is everywhere and I am struggling with it that’s all

OP posts:
Endofyear · 07/03/2026 09:45

CocoaTea · 07/03/2026 09:40

@Endofyear would you mind sharing your weight work outs? (The source)

Have a look at Sally Gunnell on Facebook, she shares lots of workouts and tips for women over 50! Since I started following her, I see lots of other women sharing weights workout content (algorithms!) and just save them in my notes on my phone to do when I want. Lots of content on YouTube to, just search beginners strength training!

Monsterslam · 07/03/2026 09:43

Get off the social media. Mine is full of nutrition geeks making ridiculous claims about collagen and tons of skin creams. I can't understand how they can legally make the claims they make. One nutrition geeks post showed someones cellulite entirely gone from taking collagen. It's utter bullshit and clearly just a photoshopped image. But my feed is bombarded by it all.

CocoaTea · 07/03/2026 09:40

@Endofyear would you mind sharing your weight work outs? (The source)

Endofyear · 07/03/2026 09:33

I'm in my 50s and I don't obsess about weight but as I've got older, I have thought more about being strong and fit, wanting to avoid losing muscle and bone density as I age. I do 3 x 30 mins workouts with weights, at home not in a gym, and try and walk as much as I can. Not obsessively and it fits in easily around family life. I don't count calories or really think about weight but I do try and eat healthily and plan meals that are nutritionally dense including enough protein and fibre. I don't look at magazines or instagram and I don't compare myself to others - after 5 kids, my body is far from perfect!

I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to want to stay fit and healthy. I still eat the odd cake, chocolate bar or bag of crisps but these are occasional treats rather than every day. I think finding a balance is the key.

Miloarmadillo2 · 07/03/2026 08:34

I go to a boxing class and the PT talks a lot about social media bullshit. She’s all about ‘we do this to be strong for carrying kids, to have an antidote to our desk jobs, to be able to do the adventurous activities we want to try’. Social media is just trying to sell you stuff and it can only do that if you feel you are inadequate.
My motivation is not to be a little old lady with osteoporosis like my mum but I don’t feel any pressure in my 50s to look a certain way for anyone else’s benefit.