To think XH has outdone himself

I had 3 children with a dreadful man who I stayed with for 22 years, to the outside world he was the picture of charm and kindness
my upbringing and family attitude made me think you just stayed, kept your pain quiet and created a public front

I have 3 amazing sons, they are worth every miserable hour spent until I finally plucked the courage to believe in my truth and leave

Your ex husband decided to use the Will to punish his daughter for being estranged from him. He clearly thinks your daughter is at fault for the estrangement and sees himself as a 'victim'.

Your ex husband is an adult, and could have contacted his daughter to try and forge a relationship with her. He hasn't, because that takes effort, and beyond the superficial interest he isn't bothered. Of course, I'm sure to his family/friends, he's the 'poor Dad, who's daughter has been alienated, against him' and 'he's tried, but she's been poisoned against him'. The usual bollocks, these men like to say, when the truth is, they're not really bothered.

Yes, your ex husband is a nasty, vindictive man, but you already know that. Perhaps his behaviour in this situation shouldn't be that surprising. It's hurtful towards your daughter, but sadly, that was his intention. All I can say is, your daughter has made the correct decision in having no contact with her Dad. This incident should cement that in her mind, and give her no doubts at all. Be there to support her and maybe suggest some counselling to help her work though her feelings/emotions. It may then give her some form of 'closure'.

FWIW, I think the grandfather was a fool not to name the actual beneficiaries. It would have been so much simpler to have done so, particularly as there seems to be a child of his who was unknown to the rest of the family. (If I've got that right) It shows how important it is to be specific.

Solicitors always advise not to name grandchildren as new ones can come along, which would entail rewriting the will every time there is a family birth. Same should really apply to children, as shown in this case by the lost son turning up

I presume the ExH inherits the residual estate so the less that goes to grandchildren the better for him. So, if another four grandkids are going to come out of the woodwork that's another £20K lost to him? Ha, make sure they know to claim, OP.

Right… @socks1107 has realised and corrected their mistake.

@Thelankyone needs to stop with the woman bashing comments. OP had children with a man who turned out to be a shit. It happens.

@BurnoutGP your ex sounds like a small man with a precious ego who needs to be the centre of attention, and when DD1 didn’t fawn and pander to him and flatter his daddy ego, he spitefully cut her off to teach her a lesson. That is bad enough in itself, but to openly snub her very existence in such a petty and spiteful way, knowing full well it wasn’t what his own father wanted, demonstrates the lengths he is willing to go to continue putting her in her place. Parents should show understanding and forgiveness. She was a teenager and he was the adult. It was always on him to offer the olive branch, whatever had occurred. Sounds like he was too proud, too vindictive, so instead of being the bigger person, he showed himself to be a small and cruel man.

He isn’t fit to be her dad. What an utter disappointment. Your DD sounds lovely and kind and I hope she can use her GF’s gift to do something that makes her happy.

Your poor DD1! What an absolute shit heel your ex is.

Read the OP. This is about her Grandfather who she did have a relationship with fgs

Well done to you and your Dd for pursuing this.
At least your Dd knows now that her Dgf did not leave her out of the Will. Living with that upset would have been horrible.

This reminds me of my ex. They’re so petty it’s unreal.

Come on now, a bit of common sense can’t be that difficult to muster up.

I read it as estranged from the father not the Grandfather. The father has deliberately left her name off a list - very immoral. Grandad should have named them in the will though, really not difficult. Men.

What a vile excuse for a man.

Let me guess, the eldest is strong and stands up for herself which abusive men hate.

I am so glad that you’ve all had such a lucky escape from him.

Oh FFS! 🤦‍♀️

The correction isn't much of a correction.. It makes no difference if she were estranged. The bequest was to grandchildren., not the deserving grandchildren.

Unfortunately it was too late for that poster to edit their post when they realised their mistake. They have graciously accepted they misread the post but it's proving amusing the amount of posters who seem to have only read their first reply before jumping in to complain they should read properly, the irony is probably lost on them.

I really hope the process is quick OP and that your daughter can use some of this money for some therapy to explore her mess of a father.

Not fair.

She was NOT estranged from her Grandfather who left her the money.

Her father was dishonest in the distribution of a legal will.

Why are you having a dig at the mum here? This is the usual Mumsnet shite whereby someone always thinks to make some nasty comment.

@socks1107 maybe edit your original post as it seems no one gets further than that before replying 🤣

Oh well, he’ll probably contact her when he’s dying and has nobody. Hope she turns around and tells him to get fucked when he does the prick who does that to their own child?

RTFT

@socks1107 apologised on page 1 for misreading the OP. There is no need to keep laying into her / him / them!!!

Your XH is a nasty piece of work. So pleased your daughter is receiving tbe 5K after all.

Read the post properly!

as I read the OP, DD1 was estranged from only her father, not from her grandfather.