DSis says I'm awful for not letting her give DD14 a smartphone and that my gift for her is ridiculous, outdated and cruel.

Maybe there would be less need for mental health services if there was less or later phone use?

Why are you defending smartphone usage so much? Weird

Do you carry around a brick, an mp3 player and a digital camera like it's 2004? If you do well fine. Did you post this from your PC in your livingroom connected to your phone line too? I understand trying to protect your child but acting like it's the year 2000 and saying no to having a smartphone until working age is quite mental. How do you envisage she will keep herself safe if she hasn't been gradually introduced to social media etc with strict parental controls in place? How does she find her way to new places, is she printing maps off like we used to do? I use my phone for everything, not just doom scrolling, everything is on an app. The high school my kids will be going to homework etc is on a app that children access themselves. She'll have her own bank account soon, how will she keep tabs on her account? If I lose my bank card I can freeze my card immediately through my app. Traveling by bus/train, you can check ahead when they are due to arrive and time your journey around that, your train is delayed you can look what the hold up is etc and plan around it. If I need a taxi, I book on an app, I know exactly when it will arrive and what the car is so I know I am getting into the right taxi and not a random car. There's so so many things you might need a smart phone for as you move towards adulthood other than social media. Everything is geared towards smartphones, tickets for a concert they are sent to your phone now, and you must open them in the app to get in, you can't even produce a screenshot now nevermind present a paper ticket.

When i was younger I just didn't ask for certain things because I knew the answer was no (money related) it didn't mean I didn't want those nice things, I very much did, I just accepted I wouldn't get one so never asked. I imagine this is why your daughter doesn't ask, she has accepted you won't budge.

My children have been introduced to alcohol from quite a young age if they wanted to be, yes.

DH is Spanish and the culture around alcohol there is totally different. It is very normal for teens to have a glass of wine at family occasions and to visit bars etc.

You bought her lovely, thoughtful presents. If she's not bothered I wouldn't buy her a smartphone. My daughter is 23 and a few of get friends have gone back to flip phones. She dug out my old camera and her friends were all interested in it and like putting their phones away when they go out and they take photos with DD's camera. Your sister is over stepping the line and is in the wrong. I hope she had a lovely day and loves what you have bought her 🎂

Like I said, I was replying to a poster who said they weren't necessary for ANYONE.

Do whatever makes you and your daughter feel comfortable but bear in mind, she will be 18 soon, and could quite possibly be a little 'behind times' in terms of technology.

Technology is advancing so fast, do you want her to be left behind? Say for example, going on a flight, boarding cards are mostly online. Alot of things have QR codes for certain downloads and info, like, ordering a meal in a restaurant, and paying for it online.. etc. Do you want her to be the 'country bumpkin' ? Its upto you how you want to educate your daughter. A suggestion would be to have a smart phone with strict parental controls. Your kid, your choice.

Teenager. Not a child.

DD14 is not allowed to have a smartphone. She uses a flip phone and has a thinkpad as well and is perfectly fine with it. Her birthday is next Sunday.

She likes to listen to music and the radio, but her phone doesn't have a music player so I bought a fiio music player on amazon, this one. It's 50 quid, and a nice blue colour. I also got her a case and screen protector for it.

I know what bands she listens to, so I went and bought some MP3 albums off bandcamp and amazon music, and put them on the MP3 player, and gave her a £100 bandcamp gift card too so she can buy some more music.

I also got her a nice portable canon as the camera on her phone is a bit naff, this one.

My sister met with me today because she wanted to show me what she got for her. It was an iPhone, the latest model. I said that she's not meant to have one, and that she won't be getting it so it'd be best to return it. It ended up in an argument, and DSis left the house angry. She called me later to yell at me and tell me how cruel I am for not allowing her to have a smartphone, and called me 'awful' and insulted my gifts several times.

AIBU?

"DD14 is not allowed to have a smartphone"

What is your reasoning/fear behind this @LuckyJadeMember?

Which of OP's posts leads you to think her DD wants a phone and has asked her Aunt for one?

I feel really bad for your DD. It sounds like she's told her aunt she wants one but doesn't want to upset you. Life should be about making things easier not harder.

I'm also in the camp that all 3 of the girls you mention have got their friends old smartphones!

You're an adult - whatever your reasons for NEEDING one, I'm sure they don't apply to 14-year-olds. Children do not NEED them.

Times have moved on, that doesn't equate to wanting everything as easy as possible as fast as possible. That's a want.

Homework and research don't have to be "mobile" ( pun intended) though, do they?

and from aged 5 at home

Were you giving your sons a beer after they came home after reception? What if their friends were doing it, would that have swayed you?

Any consumption of alcohol or cigarettes is bad for your health. There is no evidence that balanced and sensible social media usage is dangerous at all, certainly not to the same level as those substances.

In any event, 16 year olds can drink alcohol in restaurants and from aged 5 at home. Countries which introduce alcohol in a controlled way for teens have much lower harm than the UK does.

Any consumption of alcohol or cigarettes is bad for your health. There is no evidence that balanced and sensible social media usage is dangerous at all, certainly not to the same level as those substances.

In any event, 16 year olds can drink alcohol in restaurants and from aged 5 at home. Countries which introduce alcohol in a controlled way for teens have much lower harm than the UK does.

Why is it magically safe to start smoking and gambling the day you turn 18?
It is not. It’s a cut off date when we say whatever damage you choose to do to yourself is your own responsibility.
Cigarettes, gambling and smartphones are harmful and designed to be addictive. Addictions in childhood when brains and bodies are changing so fast and decision making capability is not properly developed are ESPECIALLY damaging.
Which is why we have age limits to protect children from harm.

I really don’t know who you are or what your motivation is to argue so vociferously for children to adopt addictive, harmful habits at such a young age.

My point is you seem to think 15 year olds should be made to live in some bizarre fantasy world with no access to modern technology.

Why is it going to become magically safer the day of their 16th birthday?

Yep. I've said she can get a smartphone when she goes to work and buys one from her own money or uses her savings to buy it, but she's never really pressed the matter or asked much.

The sister obviously bought the phone as she knows the daughter wants one but can’t say to @LuckyJadeMember

And you think that’s down to smartphones?

Don’t watch TV, see what it’s doing to you? Making you believe all this nonsense! It’s dangerous, keep away from it! Now I wonder how many people said that when TV was invented, how many said keep listening to your wireless!