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AIBU?

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To be concerned about how new man parented his child

35 replies

JovianJester · 06/03/2026 23:20

I've been dating a man for about a year. I have no DC. He has 4 and 3 live with him, The ones that live with him are 14, 18 and 21. He recently was talking about my moving in

He is older and I've recently started staying with him whereas before he stayed at mine. His boys don't say much but that's probably just them, his youngest is a bit mouthy towards his dad and siblings but I don't get involved as he isn't mine

I'm staying over tonight and I feel a bit uncomfortable. BF was cooking dinner and his youngest came downstairs and asked one of the other boys if they had any weed, they said no and then they had a back and forth until bf said “just give it to him” and at that point they went to his room and he must’ve got some. I tried to bring it up as yes you can’t ban a child from smoking weed but don’t encourage it by telling your elder child to give it to him? He told me not to worry about him but I am because he’s a child

WWYD?

OP posts:
StormySpanielz · 06/03/2026 23:36

I think we might have different standards and expectations in life if you think this is in any way normal or some kind of dilemma you need support from internet randoms to make a decision.

DoYouWantHalfThisSandwich · 06/03/2026 23:33

Dump his sorry ass @JovianJester ! This is just one small interaction that you’ve seen,
imagine what you don’t see! Imagine what you will be seeing if you move in! This man is not parenting well! Throw him back! Throw him hard, & donut quickly - life is too short! (I’ve used way too many ! - apologies).

Edit - no idea why autocorrect went straight for donut 🍩 Should read - Do it quickly!

JustAnotherWhinger · 06/03/2026 23:31

I wouldn’t be moving in.

Not only is it really not on to be allowing your 14yo to smoke weed like that, but also you shouldn’t be allowing your 14yo to badger their siblings into giving him their stuff

Sounds like the 14yo is going to be a rude, entitled adult with a weed problem and I wouldn’t want to be any part of that

SecretSwirrel · 06/03/2026 23:31

That's really bad OP. It would be a dealbreaker for me.

How have they got on with school, studies, jobs etc?

PollyBell · 06/03/2026 23:29

How on you do you think moving in with this specimen is a great idea poor children

arethereanyleftatall · 06/03/2026 23:29

Run as fast as my legs would carry me from them all

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 06/03/2026 23:28

It would be enough for me to end it.

BauhausOfEliott · 06/03/2026 23:27

Yeah, I couldn’t be attracted to a man who encouraged his adult kids to give weed to a 14-year-old.

SugarPuffSandwiches · 06/03/2026 23:26

Sorry, but no I'd be off, I couldn't be doing with that.
Yes, not my kids but our parenting styles and outlooks would be far too different.
No way would I have my kids of around the same age having weed in the house and being OK with it. Not a chance.

RosesAndHellebores · 06/03/2026 23:23

It would be a deal breaker for me and I'd have packed my little bag and said " Goodbye".

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