Not sure if im being too sensitive re driving instructor?

I totally get this. I had driving lessons with someone exactly like this for 2 years and I absolutely hated my driving lessons and assumed it was me being nervous and rubbish.
They by chance a family friend was training to become a driving instructor and I went driving with him and it was completely different. I drove so much better with him because he commented on what I was doing well so I knew what to do more of, as well as being clear what I needed to improve.
I passed my test first time and am a good driver now after my first instructor told me I'm "not a natural".

I had a driving instructor who stressed me out SO much - he would shout, tell me off, and when he was happy (ie not shouting or telling me off as all was well with my driving) he'd chunter on and on and totally distract me. However as a PP said I passed first time because the experience with the examiner was SO much easier than driving with him :-D I would definitely get a different instructor though if you are a nervous driver- you will only get worse. There are also instructors that specialise in people that have failed multiple tests. I would try one of them perhaps. Not because you're useless or anything like that but because sometimes people who fail repeatedly need a different style of teaching given we all learn differently, and as a DI PP said, a good instructor should be able to adjust to that.

Definitely go with someone else who makes you comfortable; it's really important. I am dyspraxic and took quite a long time learning, but I've been driving nearly 25 years and, touch wood, the worst accident I've ever had is backing into someone slowly - I've safely managed a blown out tyre on the dual carriageway. The good instructor I had was so calm and helpful - he set me up for life.

Also, totally bemused by the bonkers logic of someone dismissing all women instructors on the grounds that one woman was bad!

Me too, I read the op 3 times trying to work out what I missed 😂

I'm intrigued by this!

Plus I ditched the perv! For being a perv …

No im not happy for a bloke to be a perv but my experience with the woman was much worse. She was a complete psychopath.

I think you should try another driving instructor. It's clearly not working for you. Maybe just a clash of personalities or learning styles.

Although I do think telling someone to chill is rubbish. When has telling anyone to chill ever actually had that effect?!

I was an anxious learner but I'm a confident driver now. My last driving instructor was lovely and so helpful. He was very calm and always waited until a good moment to give me feedback. He actually sat in the back of the car when I had my driving test. He didn't do or say anything but just having him there really helped.

Go back to automatic. Manual is a waste of time particularly if you are struggling. Cost may be more for auto but you will save money by not needing so many lessons

There’s nothing wrong with finding something that works for you. I also don’t know why you’re doing manual - just stick to building confidence in one thing first. There are many styles of driving instructor and this approach doesn’t work for you so just move on

I do feel that profession attracts men who enjoy belittling women. He’s a twat who clearly has self esteem issues. Sack him, get a new one and leave a bad review, how dare he treat a paying customer this way. Misogynistic cock womble

I had an instructor like that but he was upfront about it. Said that when I took the test I would be more relaxed as the instructor would be like a teddy bear.

he was brilliant and right. Passed first time after 3 months. I was also a nervous driver but it’s made me a far better driver now. I still miss him

You have one bad experience with a female and have decided that’s enough to say you would never recommend a female driving instructor yet you’re happy for a male to be a “perv” and not comment on all male instructors?
I’m assuming you’re a woman -could be wrong of course- but how depressing that this attitude comes from a fellow female. As if we don’t have it bad enough.

Sorry OP, don’t wish to derail! I think you need to find a new instructor. You don’t seem like a good match and if you’re already nervous, the last thing you need is anything adding to your anxiety when you should be building your confidence up. You’ll get there!

Get another instructor and go automatic again.

Find another manual instructor, there's no shortage.

Male driving instructors 🙄
I’m sure there’s plenty of good ones out there. I just haven’t experienced it.

Definitely find a new instructor. I started learning with a shouter and dreaded driving lessons. I was progressing really slowly. I switched to another guy and it was like night and day. I spent the whole time in stitches as he was hilarious and really relaxed. I was a bit sad when I passed and didn’t have the sessions any more!

@BySnappyUmberFish change your instructor.

You absolutely need someone to encourage you.

Lessons are so expensive, vote with your cash, there are so many driving schools needing your business.

You do not have to accept some numpty who has zero people skills, find someone who would suit you better.

eta; if you're in the UK learning in a manual car gives you the option to drive either/or when you pass your test, which you will. Good luck.

He really doesn't sound like the right fit for you. Id find a new instructor.

Definitely find a. New instructor. He’ll ruin your confidence.

Female instructor here, frequently recommended from one student to the next because I’m pleasant to people 😁

I’ve voted YANBU, it’s our job to be sensitive to what works and what doesn’t. One of my learners would love me to draw willies and boobs on stick diagrams but he’s not having it because it’s totally against DVSA rules. Some would be embarrassed and appalled. It’s my job to be sensitive to all and adapt my style to their needs.

Always remember you are the paying customer and we are equal partners in your endeavour to get a licence. There needs to be trust, rapport and open communication for you to learn best. It’s two way, adult chats about how to learn best.

So if you don’t like something tell him. If he doesn’t like it find someone who can adapt their teaching style, it’s what we’re literally tested on, we should be able to do it.

Honestly I'd say stick with automatic! I'm so uncoordinated and just passed forst time in an automatic. I thought I'd never get there to be honest, my instructor sometimes made me feel shitty and I very nearly quit, but after maybe 20 hours I kind of realised it was just his personality and things were being said in banter and I was being a bit touchy because I was hating driving so much and had no self confidence. I'd really suggest going back to auto, it's so much less to think about in the car and you can focus on the road and what's going on outside the car better

Learning to drive well is tough and I sympathise but you come across as someone who doesn’t like to be told. You may think you „mastered“ a skill but an outsider may perceive you as sub par. Are you dyspraxic or finding it hard to coordinate yourself? There isn’t anything wrong with that but maybe an automatic would be easier for you.

If this instructor isn’t for you then I‘d shop around and ask for recommendations for someone who specialises in nervous drivers but please do everyone a favour (including yourself) and drop the attitude of thinking you’re doing well when an actual instructor thinks you’re not.

That's sad, in 32 years as an ADI I Never ONCE shouted at a student 😢. OP it's totally unacceptable the way your instructor is talking to you and it doesn't sound like a good match for you. Sarcasm and unconstructive comments will not help you. Find someone who can build you up. Good luck